


Blow A Kiss, Fire A Gun

by Strawbhannie



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: All The Ships, Alternate Universe - Prostitution, M/M, Multi, it’s dark read with care, loosely inspired by Garden, this whole thing is a mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-05-15 07:20:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 70,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14785988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strawbhannie/pseuds/Strawbhannie
Summary: "Do we only hold on to let go?"~Or the one where 13 kids do bad things when trying to survive.





	1. A Strumpet ?

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I tried to write this a few weeks ago, and it was called "the kids aren't alright" but it just wasn't going the way I wanted. SO we shall try again, I have so many ideas that I want to go with this story, I just hope I can make them all work, and not clash together in one hot mess, but knowing me they probably will. Yikes !!

Joshua Hong was a rational, law obeying, church-going, child of God, maybe he a had a bit of a lying problem, but it wasn’t like he was a murder or anything.

He had been standing outside the cafe for three whole minutes now, his thoughts a jumbled mess, due to the fact he was about to do something very irrational, and illegal, not to mention very frowned upon in the eyes of the lord, but he’s not gonna dwell on that part. He looked at the scratched up watch on his wrist and took a shaky breath. He was now officially late.

“I can’t do this, yeah nope, can’t do it” The flustered boy mumbled to himself as he began to walk away from the cafe for the third time. His mind was racing, thoughts overlapping one another.

_You don’t have a choice, think about Erin-_

With the new thought in his now overcrowded head, he stopped abruptly, turning on his heels and marched back to the cafe determined.

“I got this, yeah no big deal, Joshua Hong isn’t a pussy, no big deal just gonna sell out- Yeah no I can’t do this.” He sighed out loud to himself, about to turn around and walk away again when a voice pulled him out of this thoughts

“Joshua Hong ?” The voice came from a handsome man in a button-down shirt, with two top buttons nicely undone. He was sitting at one of the tables outside the cafe, holding a cup of coffee in his large hand.

“Uh, nope wrong person.” Josh lied out of instinct before he could stop himself.

The dark haired man laughed, lowering his head slightly as he did “You just called yourself Joshua, you were literally standing 2 feet away from me talking to yourself, I obviously heard you.”

Josh mentally smacked himself in the face, of course, the boss he was supposed to meet with for the job interview would be waiting outside for him. He wondered how long he had been sitting out there, and how many times Josh had walked right past him.

“Right I- ” the younger boy opened his mouth to say more but nothing came out.

“As much as I’ve enjoyed watching you pace back and forth for three minutes I do have other places to be, so if you’re not sure this is the job for you I should get going.” The older spoke confidently, rising from his seat at the table.

“Wait no!” Josh’s voice a little more desperate than he would have liked. “I'm sure, I would like the job, or the chance to show you I want the job.”

The man nodded sitting back down and gestured for the younger to join him, the older had that look of importance to him that made Josh’s stomach do flips, but luckily he was an excellent liar, even if that meant lying to himself sometimes. He rushed over as smoothly as possible, taking a seat.

When Josh met eyes with the man his confidence wavered ever so slightly, he was hot as hell with raven colored hair that looked fluffy enough to be a pillow, not to mention his pink plump lips, that Josh had to will himself from thinking about how kissable they looked. He closed his fingers into a fist, digging his nails into the skin of his palm, to ground himself from the gorgeous man in front of him, and to keep his nerves down. The man took a long drink from his cup and placed it down before looking at Josh and introducing himself.

“I’m Seungcheol.” He gave a soft smile flashing his perfectly white teeth. Joshua fought the urge to look away from the blinding sight, _how the hell is this man even rea_ l!?

“How did you hear about me?” Apparently, the interview was already starting.

“Through a mutual contact, I was looking for a way to earn some money and they said you could possibly help me,” Josh answered, coolly trying to hide any uncertainty he might have felt, especially knowing Seungcheol just watched him pace back and forth like an idiot for three minutes.

“Look this line of work needs to be taken seriously, one wrong move and everyone's ass is on the line. I don’t like to fuck around.” He spoke soft enough to keep any bypassers from hearing, yet firm enough to show he was serious, it was kinda hot. “This isn’t some 9-5 shit, it’s sex work. It’s tolling to give a part of yourself away like that, and I just don’t know if you fit what we’re looking for.”

“I’m serious! I can be serious, I need this job.” Josh tried to hide the bit of a plea in his voice, he didn’t want to come off as desperate, tho he clearly was. He really didn’t need his already shitty self-esteem lowered even more by being turned down for a job as a hooker.

Seungcheol took a deep breath, looking Josh over like he was contemplating some heavy thought. “Why do you want the job, other than the money, of course?”

Josh’s mind flooded with the memories from the last few months, his mother’s death, losing his job, becoming homeless, but in all honesty most of those things we’re only affecting him, and if this was just about him he could have handled it. Roughed it out on the streets a little longer, maybe kicked it in some alley half drunk, but this wasn’t just about Josh and that's the whole reason he was here.

“My sister, most of her life I’ve been able to take care of her. She’s in uni right now and it’s expensive, there’s a lot of things she doesn’t know, and I don’t want her to know I just want to keep her safe the best I can, the fastest way I can.”

  
Seungcheol leaned back in his chair processing what he’d just heard, Josh could have sworn he saw a hint of a smile, “Jihoon’s gonna kick my ass” he sighs under his breath before looking up at Josh, his expression turning to a serious one. “Don’t make me regret this, I really hope you know what you’re getting into Josh.”

“Thank you, thank you yeah I won’t let you down I promise I will work hard.” Josh smiled at the other brightly, earning a smile back in return.

They said their goodbyes, Seungcheol gave Josh the address and told him to come tomorrow around 2 with all of his stuff, which really wasn’t much. Everything Josh currently owned he could keep in a backpack, which right now was hiding behind some dumpster in the alley of the restaurant he crashed at last night. The owner obviously caught him, threatened to call the cops, but Josh using his skills as a gentleman and a liar talked her into letting him stay one more night if he helped clean some dishes during their dinner shift. The owner agreed but said she wanted him gone first thing tomorrow morning. He felt his phone buzzing in his jacket pocket, he fished it out looking at the screen to see his sister's name pop up.

  
“Jossshyyy!!” He pulled the phone away from his ear at the high pitch squeal on the other end, his younger sister tended to call once a week, more if it was a bad week. Through all the shittiness of his life, she was the only thing that made him happy, and he did his damn best to keep her happy.

“Hey Rin”

“Was it a bad time, did I call you at work?” Josh knew it was wrong to lie to his sister but if it kept her safe and happy, it couldn’t be that bad.

“Yeah, but I’m on break so it’s fine.”

“Good, how’s mom doing ?” Josh was quiet for the tiniest moment before he threaded together another lie. This one he wasn’t so sure about keeping, but he thought it would probably be for the best. Erin wasn’t really that close to their parents, due to the fact Josh kept her away from them for most their life, honestly, it was for her own good.

“Ya know some days are better than others, her nurses say she’s getting a little better, I’ll tell her you asked about her.” A wave of guilt spread over him but only for a moment, _it was for the best_. “Don’t worry too much Rinie, make sure you’re eating properly, and studying har-”

Josh yelled dropping his phone as he felt something crash into him, a flash of amber hair, a jawline, hands fumbling into his chest, and the next thing he knew he was on the ground.

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry, are you alright!” The man who had just trampled him on the sidewalk asked. Josh moaned as a response as the other was flailing around grabbing the few things that fell from Josh's pockets, and placing them back in. He pulled Josh up by his wrist straightening his jacket, apologizing again saying something about big feet.

“Yeah I’m okay, it’s fine.” Josh nodded taking a step back, the man gave him a bright smile before ducking away, apologizing one more time as he went. Josh shook his head slightly dazed, he pulled his phone from his pocket that the man placed back in for him. He was relieved the screen wasn't cracked, but the time on it made him pick up his pace as he quickly dialed his sister back, he gave her a quick explanation and told her he had to get back to work soon. He hung up after reminding her to get rest and that he loved her, then he made his way to the restaurant he was squatting at to earn his nights stay.

  
  
◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇

  
“Kiddos I’m home!” Seungcheol dropped his keys in the bowl by the front door before he strolled down the hall that leads to the living room. He could hear them all before he saw them, which wasn’t surprising, it was that time of the day where people with real jobs were at work which meant they had time off until later in the evening.

“Don’t call us your kiddos, you freak.” Chan the youngest in the house, but not by too much smirked over. Only 19, he was 18 when he first came to Seungcheol asking for a job. Seungcheol won’t ever admit it but the only reason he gave Chan the job was that the kid looked scared and hungry. Surprisingly Chan turned out to be more mature than some of the older ones despite his age. Seungcheol still only gives him one client tho, don’t want to fuck him up too bad, yet.

“Does that make Hoonie our other daddy?” Soonyoung teased leaning his head on the back of the couch to look up at Jihoon who was typing away on his laptop from the kitchen counter.

“Call me daddy again and I will break your neck.” He didn’t even look up from his computer, his threats we’re still just as scary.

“Okay everyone listen up the cool dad has something to say.” Seungcheol made his way to the middle of the living room, snatching the remote from Minghao and lowering the tv volume, ignoring the moan from the Chinese boy.

“Cheol in no universe are you the ‘cool’ dad.” Seungkwan mused running a hand through Hansol’s hair, who was sitting on the floor between the strawberry blonde boys legs, a huge gummy grin on his face.

Seungcheol shot the younger a look before doing a quick scan of the room making sure everyone was present, once he mentally counted 11, he cleared his throat before beginning. “Some of you know that Jihoon and I were looking to find another…” Seungcheol always struggled with what word to use, he didn't like to straight up call them prostitutes, even tho that's what they were.

"Sluzzy?"

"Hooker?"

"Slut?"

"Strumpet?"

"Strumpet? Seungkwan what the hell is a strumpet?" Jun laughed looking at the younger boy.

Seungkwan shrugs causing laughs from the others, Seungcheol continued deciding Seungkwan's word would work for now. "Okay so strumpet, anyway I think I officially found our new...strumpet, he will be coming over tomorrow, Seungkwan I want you to show him around since you seem to know everything about everyone around here."

"Wait no _you_ talked about getting a new strumpet, _I_ never said yes." Jihoon groaned now looking up from his laptop and staring Seungcheol down.

"Yes, but _we_ need someone else." Seungcheol returned, he knew Jihoon would have an issue and that's why he came prepared.

"No _we_ don't, money is fine right now, clients are steadily coming in."

"Hoon we both know this isn't about the business, Kijung is breathing down my neck and we can't afford to fuck up again, so I'm going to need to use some of our strumpets which means we will need an extra strumpet to help out- okay no, strumpet is out we need a better word." Seungcheol saw Seungkwan frown and mumble something about how he thought the word was good.

"Fine" Jihoon finally agreed, not looking too pleased, "But do you know anything about this boy, what if he is an undercover cop or something."

"Then we'd kill him," Wonwoo spoke up nonchalantly, earning him some amused looks from the others.

"Woah there Won, let's not jump the gun. I had Seokmin steal his wallet so we could do a background check." Seungcheol reassured, gesturing towards the smiley boy with amber hair, and a sharp jawline.

"I also got his watch." Seokmin smiled dangling the watch in the air for the other strumpets to see.

"Babe it's so hot when you steal things from innocent people." Sooyoung smiled wrapping his arms around his boyfriend.

"Ew go be gay somewhere else." Chan sighed making a disgusted face towards the couple.

"Dude we're all gay." Hansol laughed as Soonyoung proceed to kiss his boyfriend in front of the youngest member.

"Some of us are bi" Jun stated, receiving an eye-roll from Minghao.

"No some of us just like sex more than others." Minghao was silenced by Jun smacking his arm.

"Okay children focus!" Seungcheol sighed trying to regain control of the room. "Hansol your up"

Hansol smiled as he wiggled his way out of Seungkwan's hold and strutted over to the tv, he flipped to the channel his laptop was synced to. He leaned over his laptop pulling up the info he found. Hansol was a genius when it came to most technology, there wasn't much the kid couldn't hack or get into, it really did come in handy.

"Okay, so this is Joshua Hong or Jisso Hong." He pulled up his picture on the screen resulting in some whistles from the other members.

"Oooh, he's a cutie." Jeonghan purred looking up at the screen, the blonde had a glass of wine pressed to his lips, even tho it was the middle of the day. Seungcheol starred over at the pretty boy for a moment, before quickly returning his gaze back to the screen before he was caught.

"He was born in America, normal family mom, sister and a dad," The photo on the screen showed a photo of a young Josh with a small girl with dark hair wrapped in his arms, standing behind them was a woman with a pretty smile, and a man wearing a priest's robe. "Oh yeah also his dad was a preacher, they belonged to a church in LA, his father died in a car wreck a few years back, they moved to Korea a year after that. His mother died a few months ago, the police reports and autopsy reports show that it was a suicide. His younger sister tho, Erin Hong, she's studying at Seoul University currently." The screen changes into a few different images of Erin through the black and white traffic camera, along with her social media accounts, she looked like an average teenage girl, pretty, lots of friends.

"As far as I could find he has no police records or incidents of any kind, he was in the hospital a lot as a kid tho, always with a broken bone, or something along those lines. His father was invested by child protective services a few times, but every time the case would be thrown out. He worked some boring jobs like a grocery clerk, nothing exciting. A few months ago he completely went off the radar, I thought maybe it was something cool, but after a quick check and face scan of the stop light and satellite cameras, it turned out he was just homeless." The screen showed him sleeping in various different alleys and park benches. "Honestly Joshua Hong is pretty boring, almost everything I found was basic, no red flags or anything. Oh, but I did find this!" Hansol's smile spread across his face as a photo of Josh as a kid dressed up like a girl popped onto the screen. He had on a patterned blouse and some sort of bow in his hair.

"What does the last one have to do with anything?" Jihoon sighed looking at the younger, smile still taking up half his face.

"Nothing really, he just looks funny." Vernon giggled as he looked at the photo once more, Seungkwan gave him a loving smile before rolling his eyes.

"Okay, thank you Hansol," Seungcheol chuckled at the younger as he went back to his spot between his boyfriend's legs. "See Hoon, like Solie said, completely boring, nothing to worry about."

“Fine but when this blows up in your face, which it will because god knows why you have to help every stray you find, you’re on your own.” Seungcheol sighs at his stubborn business partner. Jihoon and he have been best friends since he could remember.

The two grew up together due to both their dads being in the same gang, Seungcheol’s the leader of said gang and Jihoon’s his right man. When Jihoon’s dad died he was 16, Seungcheol’s family took him straight in. But that was all a long time ago, when things were less complicated, and Seungcheol didn’t have to worry about debts to be paid, getting his father out of jail, and protecting his strumpets. Seungcheol also knew that if this did happen to blow up in his face, Jihoon would be the first person to help clean up the mess.

“I don’t want Josh involved in anything other than the business, hell I didn’t want any of you involved in anything but the business but you’re all stubborn assholes who are trying to kill me.”

“Cheolie you saved us, we save you it’s how this whore house works, when are you gonna learn that.” Seungcheol smiled at Jun, giving the other a loving pat on his head.

“Well, I’m excited to get someone new in the house, plus a preacher's kid.” Jeonghan smiles devilishly as he curls up more on the couch, the blonde boy liked to be comfortable.

“Ew, Hannie I’m pretty sure if you try to sleep with him you’re going to get smited or something.” Minghao smiles.

“Isn’t like it …. illegal for jesus people to have sex?” Mingyu asked stretching out his long body over Jun, Minghao, and Jeonghan on the couch, as he rests his head in Jeonghan’s lap.

“No you vacuous beanpole, how did you survive in the world this long.” Jeonghan smacked the others head, but there was no real hit in it.

“Oh Gyu sweetie, at least you tried.” 


	2. The housemates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh moves into the whore house

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small mention of suicide and blood at the end! Please skip over if that makes you uncomfy, much love <3

The townhouse looked out of place, almost like a historical building. Kept nice enough for the sake of preservation, but not like anyone could actually live in it. Squashed between a sketchy looking convenient store and a barber shop, with the brick walls and windows of apartment rooms towering above them.

Josh was late again, not due to his own stupidity this time, thankfully. He managed to get lost a handful of times, he had never been to this part of the city before, he doesn’t even remember knowing if it ever existed. The sun was starting to set as the lights on the neon signs that decorated the front of the convenient store, and barbershop began to illuminate, drowning the sidewalk in hues of blues and purples.

Josh checked the neat handwriting on the crumpled up napkin in his hand again, this was the right place. He shoved it into his jacket pocket as he pulled his backpack on more secure, holding the straps tightly. He climbed the few steps to the front door looking down at the doormat, ‘go away’. Josh rung the doorbell and took a step back, he heard muffled voices and footsteps before the door swung open.

“Joshua!” Cheeks, cute round cheeks was the first thing Josh noticed on the boy. He was smiling brightly, his strawberry blonde hair styled nicely.

Josh was too taken back by the stranger calling his name to form a proper sentence, he ended up standing awkwardly with his mouth open like he was about to say something.

“You’re late!” The boy didn’t skip a beat, grabbing Josh’s hand and pulling him inside, the door closing with a click behind him.

The inside of the house looked absolutely nothing like the crumbling building outside. Hardwood floors and a large modern chandelier hung above their heads.

“S-sorry, this part of town is surprisingly hard to find” The boy waves Joshua’s apologies off and pulls him more into the house. The hall leads into a nicely decorated living room that backs off to a modern kitchen, with an island separating the two rooms.

There were a few people spread around the kitchen who turned their attention to Josh. A boy with honey brown hair looked down at Josh’s hand that was still intertwined with the cute cheek boy’s hand. Why does he look like he wants to punch me?

“Everyone! Why don’t you introduce yourself to Joshua, I’ll go first, I’m Seungkwan.” He smiles charmingly at Josh, swinging their intertwined hands still.

“I’m Hansol, Seungkwan’s boyfriend.” Ah, that makes sense, the honey-haired boy said in English as he walked over sliding his arms around his boyfriend’s waist and pulling him into a protective hug, causing Seungkwan to release his hold on Josh’s hand.  
“Oh, you speak English? Me too, I’m originally from-”

“LA, yeah I was born in New York, but I moved here when I was 5.” Hansol smiled, the jealous boyfriend facade he had on a minute ago, completely melted away.

“Yeah that's- Wait how did you know that?”

“Solie is a hacker, he did a background check on you for Seungcheol.” Seungkwan looked at his boyfriend, like a proud mom.

“Don’t worry about Hansol, he is harmless, just disgustingly in love with Seungkwan .” A tall, like really tall tanned boy, shoots Josh a smile, flashing his canines. “I’m Mingyu by the way, this little ray of sunshine is Minghao he’s one out of two of our China sluts” he throws his arm around the boy sitting beside him, he had jet black hair that was a little long in the back, with some fringe in the front. He rolled his eyes pushing Mingyu’s hands away from his cheek, the smallest hint of a smile on lips.

“Watch out for Gyu he’s a natural born con artist” Mingyu seems to beam at Seungkwan’s remark like it was a compliment, “and just….. watch Hao” Seungkwan leans closer to Josh, voice no more than a whisper, “He grew up on the black market, his wide knowledge of anything and everything sketchy is frightening”

Josh shivers looking over at the boy, he remembers seeing reports on the news when he was little about a group of kids who were saved from the black market, the kids were kept locked up and used for anything from sex to child labor, His mother had turned off the tv before the story got into detail, and then she lead him and his sister in a silent prayer for the kids.

“That’s Wonwoo” Seungkwan pointed to the dark haired boy sitting at the kitchen counter, he had his nose in a book and his hand around a mug of tea. Seungkwan leaned closer to Josh, Hansol’s arms still around his boyfriend's waist. “Rumor has it he killed his parents. When he was 14”

“Allegedly, Kwannie it’s not nice to talk about other people.” A thin boy with caramel colored hair placed a hand on Seungkwan shoulder and leaned into the small huddle they had formed.

Seungkwan rolled his eyes, “Junnie we all know he did it,” The thin boy, Jun, straightens himself out and gives a shrug as he walks into the kitchen and opens the fridge, his bare feet patting against the wooden floor. “Josh that’s Jun, not only is he the other China slut, but he is the number one slut in the house.” Seungkwan makes sure to say it loud enough that the other could hear, Jun just rolls his eyes and sticks his tongue out at Seungkwan.

“Wait did he really kill his parents?” Josh asks leaning into Seungkwan, speaking low.

Seungkwan shrugs, “the only one who really knows is Mingyu, the two of them came to the house together.” Josh looks over at Wonwoo sitting on the counter, he had his put his book down to start up a conversation with Jun, he had a soft smile as he talked the Chinese boy. He didn’t look like he could be a killer, but Josh knows more than anyone that what things look like, are never what they appear to be.

“Alright come on, I’ll show you the rest of the house.” Seungkwan unwraps himself from his boyfriend's embrace and leads Josh up the staircase. As they go up Seungkwan tells ’s Josh about the layout of the house, how there are 2 floors of bedrooms, with a bathroom on each floor. The fourth floor had Seungcheol and Jihoon’s ( who is apparently Josh’s second boss ) bedroom’s and offices.

“Me and Hansol’s room is right there.” Seungkwan points to a door that has stickers on the outside, and photos taped to it. When Josh looks around he notices most of the doors have their own personal touch to them, it’s all very domestic in a way that he wasn’t expecting.

“Ohh and here is Seokmin, and Sooyoung's room, they’re trying to fight me and Solie for cutest couple, but honestly it’s not even a competition, I and Sol are cuter.” Seungkwan pushes open the door littered in polaroids, and what looks like old memes that had been cut out and tapped with bright colored duct tape.

“Minnie, Soonie!!” The room inside is dimly lit, a few lamps and some fairy lights that snake around the wall. There’s some smoke in the air as Seungkwan steps more inside strutting over to the bed where a boy is sitting, he has dark hair and cute cheeks, that almost look like a hamster when he smiles.

“Cheol would kick your ass if he saw you smoking inside” Seungkwan sighs as he snatches the blunt from the other and puts it out.

“Thank you Kwannie, I’ve been telling him that all day but why listen to your boyfriend.” A slender boy with Amber hair says, he has his back to Josh as he fixes his jacket in the reflection of the mirror across from the bed. He turns around and wait-

“Hey! I know you, you ran into me on the street the other day!” The Amber haired boy with a sharp jawline smiles widely.

“Josh, Seokmin, Seokmin Josh,” Seungkwan says, a knowing tone in his voice.

“Ah, so I’m guessing you’re probably gonna want this back?” Seokmin reaches over and picks up Josh’s wallet off the dresser.

“I knew it!” Josh snatches his wallet from the other man looking inside, even tho it was empty anyway just, an old student ID, and American drivers license, some old receipts and a photo of his family.

“Don’t worry nothing is missing, there really wasn’t anything to take, and sorry about the pickpocketing, Cheol wanted to check you out before you came to work with us. Oh and here, as a welcoming gift” Seokmin picks up the scratched up watch that Josh recognizes as his father's straight away.

Josh snatches the watch from the boy's hand, “You’re giving me, my own watch, that you stole as a house welcoming gift.” The boy nods smiling brightly at Josh, a hint of teasing in his eyes.

“Don’t worry Josh, Seokmin actually has a deal with all of us that he won’t steal our shit unless it’s a life or death matter, now that you’re one of us he won’t take anything without permission, Minnie is actually the biggest softie here. As close as any of us will ever get to the sun.” Seokmin rolls his eyes at Seungkwan’s compliment but is still smiling like an idiot. He gives Josh a sincere apology bowing to the other.

“That’s not true liars !! He stole my heart.” Soonyoung smiles cheekily at his boyfriend.

“Eww, let's go before that start having sex in front of us.” Seungkwan leads Josh out the couples room and across the hall to another room, this door only had one sign on it that said go away.

Seungkwan opened the door without knocking quickly, almost like wanted to catch someone in the act. Inside sat a boy sitting criss-cross on his bed, a game controller in his hand, completely unfazed by the intrusion, maybe that sort of thing happens a lot.

“Channie, the new guy’s here, Josh this is Chan he is the baby.” The boy puts down the controller at that rolling his eyes and stands up off his bed.

“I’m 19, I’ll be 20 soon, so not a baby.” He sighs crossing his arms.

“Isn’t 19 a little young to be in this kind of work?” Josh asks, genuinely concerned, he’s not much older than his sister. Josh gets chills just thinking about his sister having to sell herself to just get by.

“Don’t worry, Cheollie only gives him one client.” Chan sighs for the hundredth time since the two have entered the room and starts to push Seungkwan out the door.

“Channie, be a good son and help me replace the tree’s shampoo with Nair!” A blonde boy with one of the prettiest face’s Josh has ever seen stands in the doorway with two bottles in his hands.

“I’m not your son! And why do you want to put Nair in Mingyu’s shampoo.” Chan asks, pausing from his mission to push Seungkwan out his room.

“Because the beanpole used all my shampoo.” The blonde says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Josh meet Jeonghan, he’s a heartless snake.” The blonde boy, Jeonghan, squints his eyes at Seungkwan and shakes the bottle of Nair in his face. “But he’s also an absolute angel who would never do anything to hurt his dongsaengs.” Seungkwan smiles charmingly batting his eyelashes.

Jeonghan smiles at the younger boy, a kind of smile Josh can’t quite read. “It’s nice to meet you, Josh if you need anything my room is next to yours.”

“Josh if I were you I’d keep my door locked at all times.” Seungkwan mocks in a sing-song voice as he’s dragging Josh away and upstairs to the third floor, ignoring the daggers he’s receiving from Jeonghan.

“Is he really that bad?” Seungkwan smiles over his shoulder walking to the last door on the left, that is bare of decorations.

“Hannie? No not really, he tends to be a little manipulative, also I’m pretty sure he is allergic to human emotions, and coconut…… Anyway, here we are, this is your room!” Seungkwan opens the door and Josh peeks inside. It’s a nice room, with a window that looks out into the city, there’s a big bed with nice with sheets, a dresser, a desk, and a standing mirror that's leaning against the wall. It’s honestly the nicest place Josh has had in a long ass while, more than anything he just wants to lay down and sleep, but Seungkwan's waiting in the doorway to lead him some more.

So far this isn’t anything like Josh was expecting, well to be fair Josh really didn’t know what to expect when becoming a prostitute. He followed Seungkwan upstairs to the fourth floor which was apparently the bosses level. Seungkwan knocked on the door to the left, the first time he knocked on any door, and waited for a response before entering.

“Cheollie, Joshua is here,” Seungkwan said timidly as he peeked his head in to make sure the older wasn’t busy, Seungcheol was sitting behind his desk looking even better than the first time Josh saw him if that was even possible. He had a smaller boy, almost looked like a child, sitting on the edge of his desk. Seungcheol had his hand on the smaller boy, who Josh assumed was Jihoon’s cheek. He smiled at Jihoon before pulling away and bring his attention to the two in his doorway.

“Oh good I’m glad you made it, are you liking the house so far ?” Josh hadn’t really taken the time to process everything yet, but he did like the house, hell any structure that had four walls was better than sleeping behind a dumpster.

“Yes thank you, everything is great, sir,” Josh added the sir last minute, not sure how to address his new boss, but from the look on everyone’s face in the room, that wasn’t it.

“You can just call me Seungcheol, and this is my business partner, Jihoon.” The smaller of the two bosses nods over at Josh.

“Most of the others have services tonight, you’re new here so you don’t have any clients yet, but you can come talk with me and Hoon tomorrow and we can start getting you some clients, tonight you can just rest get to know the other housemates.” Seungcheol smiles brightly at Josh.

“Rules Cheol.” Jihoon sighs, rolling his eyes at the other.

“Oh right, um so we collect 40% of what you make, it goes for living expense, rent, protection, and finding your clients. We don’t have many rules but the ones we do have we take very seriously, and you can be removed from the house if not followed. Don’t for any reason switch clients with one of your housemates, if you need to cancel a service, or something happens and you have any concerns, come to me or Hoon. We don’t use real names when with clients, and you’re not allowed to reveal any of your housemate's real names, along with any personal info about yourself, housemates, business, etc. Just keep everything as private as humanly possible, it’s for yours and everyone else's safety. Um, let’s see, no outsiders allowed in the house, make sure to always count the money before you start a service, when you have a client, me or Hoon will give you information about them prior to your appointment, if anything about the client or service is different, if the money isn’t the exact amount, leave and contact me or Hoon right away. I think that’s everything, will go over some more stuff when we meet with you about clients, but it’s just sex, not like rocket science or anything you should be fine.” Seungcheol gave Josh a reassuring smile, causing his inside to melt.

Seungkwan walked Josh back to his room before running off to get ready for his service, Josh plopped down on his new bed as soon as the door to his room shut. He pressed his face into the clean white sheets breathing in the smell of fabric softener. It feels like years since he has laid in a nice clean bed, maybe it was. Between working to keep his sister and his mom afloat for so long, he barely had time to sleep, let alone wash his sheets.

Josh rolled over onto his back and let his mind start to wonder, it’s crazy just how quickly everything changed if he closes his eyes tight enough he can still see his mother’s face. Not the mother who was angry and drunk, the one who would scream at him, or pass out on the kitchen floor wasted, and Josh had to carry her to bed. It wasn’t the mother who would cower every time her husband walked into the room, the one covered in bruises and cuts hidden by pastel-colored cardigans and turtlenecks. It was his real mom, the one who was brave and would smile at him reminding him to be careful, the one he hasn’t seen in years. He liked to remember his mother that way, instead of laying on the floor of the kitchen in a puddle of blood, gun loosely in her hand.

Josh sat up rubbing his face hard pushing the painful memories away, he wanted to focus on the new, his new job, his new house, his new housemates. A hacker, a con artist, raised on the black market, a slut, a possible murder, a thief, pothead? a baby, a heartless snake, two bosses, one seems nice other not so much, a… Seungkwan, and all of them extremely attractive. Josh laid back down on the bed now feeling exhausted from the day. What the hell has he gotten himself into? He kicks his shoes off and climbs under the covers deciding to sleep instead of worry, besides if it’s for Erin there isn’t much he wouldn’t do. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is still kinda slow, just trying to set up all the characters and everything !! Also with their hairs !! Okay so most of them have the hair they currently have now, except Seungkwan and Jeonghan because I'm such a slut for their don't wanna cry era hairs, SUE ME! Anyways hope you're still enjoying this so far don't worry much much much more to come! As always thanks for reading <3
> 
> Come yell at me or talk about SVT at @strawbhannie on Instagram


	3. Everyone in this house is a damn tease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Verkwan has a client  
> Duffle bags ?  
> Jeonghan in a maid costume  
> and so much teasing!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I proof read this reaaaal fast so sorry if there is any errors! <3  
> happy reading cuties :)

Hansol and Seungkwan waved as Jeonghan dropped them off at the hotel. The couple locked hands as they made their way inside. They strolled through the familiar lobby smiling and nodding at the businessmen in suits, who gave them weird looks. The two were dressed in school boy uniforms with backpacks and everything.

Seungkwan always loved to play into it more, especially when he noticed someone judging them. He would squeeze Hansol’s hand tighter and bring it to his lips, run a hand through his hair, call him Solie in sultry voice loud enough for everyone to hear. Hansol didn’t mind tho, he knew it was Seungkwan dealing with deep rooted issues his parents created, he always had to go the extra mile to show it didn’t bother him if people were judging, even if deep down it did.

The two made their way to the elevator squeezing in as they waited for their floor. Hansol began to clear his mind and get into what he likes to call his ‘hooker mindset’. This job wasn’t his favorite thing in the world, he loved having sex with Seungkwan, like a lot. But not so much when they did it in front of some old guy jerking it while watching them. Sometimes the good ones would just watch, and if Hansol tried hard enough he could forget they were even there, but most of the time to the couples luck they’d get touchy old guys who would try to smack their ass.

Hansol rubbed his face with his free hand clearing his mind trying to push out old memories, he liked it better when his head was blank and clear. They reached their floor and the two made their way out. Hansol tried to stop himself but he let his mind wander too far, _‘what if my parents could see me now, or she can,’_ Hansol’s feet stopped on their own, glued to the spot. An overwhelming wave of memories washed over him leaving him with the sharpest pain, his heart felt tight and the air felt thin.

Seungkwan turned around when he felt his boyfriends hand go limp in his own. It only took one look for Seungkwan to know what was wrong. He knew everything there was to know about Hansol Vernon Chew, he knew his boyfriend was very ticklish, he knew Hansol likes to sleep on the side of their bed near the window, his favorite songs, what his voice sounded like in the morning, he knew what Hansol was thinking more times than Hansol did. He also knew his boyfriends past, he knew the pain he was in, the nightmares that woke him up some nights gasping for air. So right now looking at his poor Solie, his eyes in that far away place again, his hands shaking slightly Seungkwan knew exactly what to do.

He took a step closer and placed a hand on Hansol’s cheek gently “Hey, hey come back to me.” Seungkwan began to place soft kisses on his boyfriends cheeks and jawline pulling him into his arms, he felt Hansol slowly start to relax. “I love you so much, they love you so much no matter what you do, it’s okay baby.” Seungkwan placed a kiss on Hansol’s nose looking into his eyes. Hansol slowly refocused on Seungkwan and his hands squeezed the other tightly. Seungkwan placed more soft kisses on his boyfriends face and held him until he felt his trembling stop. He looked up at those big brown eyes he adored and saw his Hansol looking back at him. “Are we good?” Hansol nodded and Seungkwan smiled and kissed his head.

“I know you hate this, i’m sorry, it’s my fault we’re here, but I promise as soon as we get enough money it’s gonna be just you and me and the world.” Seungkwan reassured as they stood outside their clients door trying to recompose themselves.

Hansol grabbed Seungkwan's shoulders turning him so they were facing, “Babe you know it’s not your fault, and this isn’t so bad we have a nice place to live, and the guys back home are like family, please don’t apologize okay plus I would follow you to the ends of the earth.” Hansol pulled Seungkwan in by his tie and placed a kiss on his lips. Hansol could never be mad at Seungkwan ever, he was the whole reason he was still here. When Seungkwan found him that day he was ready to just end everything, but Seungkwan wouldn’t let him. Hansol doesn’t care how cheesy it sounds, Seungkwan is his entire world.

Seungkwan pulled away from their kiss, smiling like a schoolgirl who has a crush. “Okay” he moved his hand over his face using it as a screen to change his lovey expression to a serious one, “Let’s go make some money baby.” He winked at his boyfriend and turned to knock on the door.

The client opened it within seconds and the two made their way into the dimly lit hotel room. There was the sound of what Hansol thought was a purr, as him and Seungkwan came into the light. The client had a smile that turned Hansol’s guts around, as he looked them up and down. Hansol internally sighed, it always made him uncomfy that old rich dudes got their kicks by watching two school boys have sex, even if Hansol and Seungkwan weren’t actually underage, or in school, it still made his skin crawl slightly.

“Do you have something for us?” Seungkwan asked in his best hooker voice smirking at the man.

He pulled out an envelope from his jacket pocket and pointed it towards the couple, Hansol took it from him and began to count it, once he knew all the money was there he put it in his backpack and looked at Seungkwan, who usually takes the lead on these things.

“Now that’s out of the way what do you want us to do first?” Seungkwan asked in low voice wrapping his arms around Hansol but still keeping eye contact with the client, a smirk on his face.

The man walked over and placed a hand on both Hansol and Seungkwan’s lower back, _yay a touchy one_. “I have lots of things in mind so you two better be good boys” Hansol swallowed down the vile he felt rising and plastered on his best smile.

______________________________________________________

Josh had been living at the ‘whore house’ as Jun calls it, for a few days now, and still wondering when things aren’t going to be awkward.

The meeting with Jihoon and Seungcheol made Josh want to lock himself in his closet and disappear, never had he been that uncomfortable and turned on at the same time before. The meeting had started off with them asking Josh normal-ish questions? I guess for a hooker they would be normal. Like how many people has he slept with, whether he was a top or a bottom, which apparently doesn’t mean what Josh thought it did. But after his lack of an exciting sex life, stating he only ever had basic sex, Seungcheol and Jihoon took it upon themselves to see what Josh was really into. They started asking him more detailed questions, describing scenes for him to imagine himself into, surprisingly it was Seungcheol who grabbed his hair tightly and whispered commands in his ear, while Jihoon was more gentle with his approach. By the end of the meeting Josh was hard, and they decided that he was an ideal Hooker, being fine with normal and rough clients.

And still after that ordeal Josh didn’t have a client, Mingyu and Minghao reassured him that it would take some time. Minghao said he was at the house for almost 3 weeks before he got his first client. It was weird, Josh didn’t necessarily mind not having any clients yet, I mean he wasn’t jumping at the chance to go fuck a stranger, but no clients meant no money.

Almost everyone was out of the house, it was close to six so they either had services, or were driving the others to services. The house was quiet, Josh had already taken a nap, done some laundry, played at least 10 games of Mario Kart with Chan, and helped clean out the fridge of leftovers, now he was completely bored. He decided to go walk around the house, maybe there was a room he hadn’t seen yet, or something he could do.

He was heading down the stairs to the main floor when he heard voices causing him to stop abruptly on the stairs, he swore he was the only one in the house, unless the other had just come back now?

“I don’t understand why the hell he wants us to move so much?!” Josh peeked over the railing, he saw Soonyoung standing in the kitchen with a large black duffle bag between his feet, as he lifted his beanie up to scratch his forehead.

“Who knows, he’s an asshole, and a psychopath.” Minghao dropped his bag to the floor as he rubbed his shoulder where the strap just was.

“Let’s just store it into the basement for now, and hope to god when Hansol gets back he can find the contact, the sooner this shit is out my house the better.” Seungcheol hands his duffle bag to Wonwoo, he looks different than how Josh normally sees him. The patient smiling dad face is replaced by a tired stressed out one.

Josh watches as Wonwoo, Soonyoung, and Minghao carry the bags outside to where the entrance to the basement was, it was the one place Josh hadn’t been in yet. He saw it briefly when he was checking out the small fenced in backyard, that was barely a yard, more like a sidewalk with some grass on the other side, but hey they live in the city. The door had a passcode to get in, so even if Josh wanted to he couldn’t.

He heard Seungcheol shuffle in the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of juice. Josh was still frozen on the stairs wondering what to do, should he bring it up and ask them what they we’re doing, or would he be crossing a line that could end in him being labeled as an eavesdropper or maybe even get fired. His brain was over thinking again and honestly Josh was too tired to argue with it. In the end he climbed down the rest of the stairs and decided to ask Seungcheol what was in the basement.

“Just some storage stuff? That’s a random question, why do you want to know?” Seungcheol asked calm, if the other was worried about Josh overhearing them he didn’t show it all, his face was beautiful and calm as always.

“Oh no reason in particular, just wondering since I haven’t seen it yet.” Josh spoke cautiously, watching the olders face for signs of a tell, but nothing hes was just annoyingly beautiful.

Seungcheol nodded taking another sip from his juice, he knows he shouldn’t but he wants to press Seungcheol more, he couldn’t just straight up ask what they were doing, could he?

“Where is Soonyoung? he told me earlier today he didn’t have any services, but I haven’t seen him home all day.” It was a lie, that Josh delivered as innocently as possible. Soonyoung never said that to Josh, in fact the only thing he’s said to Josh today was good morning, but details details.

Seungcheol looked up at Josh through thick eyelashes, placing his cup back on the counter. “He, along with some of the others, were helping me with a project today”

“What kind of project?” Josh leaned in closer, knowing he shouldn’t provoke his boss like this but, he was bored, and standing this close to him wasn’t that bad either.

As if the gorgeous man read his mind, he pushed Josh without a warning so that his back was against the counter, both hands placed at either side of him. Seungcheol was now leaning so close to Josh that he couldn’t think straight, let alone interrogate his boss further.

“You ask a lot of questions you know, probably because you’re bored all alone in the house all day with nothing to do right ?” Seungcheol’s voice was a whisper that sent a chill down his spine.

“I-I, Uh” Josh was a stuttering mess, the smell of the others melon shampoo filling his nose and frying his brain. Was this a tactic he used when people were asking to many questions? If so the man's a genius.

Seungcheol chuckled softly, warm air stinging Joshua’s neck, “I’m sorry about that Shua” the nickname caused Josh to flush, heat radiating over his cheeks, “we could probably find something for you to do around the house”

 _Holy shit!!_ Josh’s mind went to a hundred different scenarios of Seungcheol leaning him over the counter that he didn’t even know he wanted. He’s only been living in the ‘whore house’ for two days and it’s already starting to rub off on him. That or, he just spent to much time this morning talking to Jun, the other loves to tell about his sexcapades.

Seungcheol moves his face so he was looking right into Josh’s eyes, their lips were so close, if he wanted to, which he did, Josh could of kissed those perfect lips all day.

“Ah! You can mail some letters for me, seeing you have nothing to do around the house.” Seungcheol grabs his drink from the counter behind Josh and pulls away taking a sip.

“Right, letters- wait what?” Josh felt dazed, the quick loss of body heat, and scent of melon leaving his head. Did he just say mail letters? Like an errand boy?

“Yeah I really need these sent out, but I don’t have time today to head over to the post office. Do you mind ?” Seungcheol dug in his bag that was sitting on one of the stools that line the island, and pulled out a stack of letters.

 _This bastard, really?_ “Uh, yeah sure” Josh took them from his boss and walked to the door slowly. Still feeling a little hot from their encounter.

“Don’t forget your keys!” Josh heard Seungcheol yell after him, he swore he heard a hint of a laugh in his voice. He grabbed his keys from the bowl, filled with other keys that had various keychains on them. Josh didn’t have a keychain yet but Seungkwan and Hansol said they would get one for him.

Josh left the house and started his journey to the post office, the cold air knocking some sense back into him. _Did he really just flirt to get me to stop asking questions? And did it actually work?!_

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“We’re back and we brought Pizza bitches!” Jeonghan’s voice rang through the house. It was almost midnight and the pretty blonde felt exhausted, but the comforting sense of relief washed over him as he entered the living room.

Mingyu and him placed all the pizza boxes down on the counter. Jihoon was sitting on the couch squished between Seokmin and Soonyoung on his laptop. Seungcheol was sitting at the counter with Josh and Seungkwan, Hansol standing on the other side talking with them a big toothy grin on his face. Chan was laying on the floor joking around with, Jun who was cuddled up on Minghao and Wonwoo. Everyone lazily cheered about the pizza, then also moaned about how they were too tired to reach said pizza. Jeonghan smiled shaking his head and carried one of the boxes over and placed it on the coffee table so they could reach.

“Thank you Hannie and Gyu.” Everyone thanked, before beginingto eat the pizza.

“You’re welcome assholes.” Jeonghan smiled lovingly and took his jacket off revealing a maid costume underneath. Seungcheol literally choked on his pizza looking up at the blonde boy.

Seungkwan smirked “Smooth Cheollie smooth.” Seungcheol shot the younger boy a glare and cleared his throat, he tired to go back to eating but was struggling to keep his eyes off Jeonghan, the maid costume hugging his small frame nicely.

“Hannie, your clients are so lucky, you look so good!” Jun sighed looking at Jeonghan with heart eyes.

“Keep it in your pants Junnie” Minghao rolled his eyes, but smiled when Jun smacked his arm.

“Ah, you think so ?” Jeonghan looked down at his waist and ran his hands over the outfit, “Eh I don’t know?”

“Are you kidding, you look fucking amazing.” Josh blurted out, by the look on his face he even surprised himself by the outburst, the whore house really brings out the best in us, it’s truly a magical place.

“What do you think Cheolie ?” Jeonghan made his was over to the counter where Seungcheol was sitting and leaned down over the counter slowly.

Wonwoo laughed softly under his breath loud enough for only the ones around him to hear, “Fucking tease, poor Cheol.”

“I-I, uh… I think .. you look, really good Hannie.” Jeonghan smiled at himself always pleased when he turned the big doe eyed boy, into a flustered mess. He gave Seungcheol a devilish smile and hopped on the counter grabbing a piece of pizza and crossing his leg over the other. Jeonghan knew he looked pretty up there, his smooth legs covered with soft knee highs socks. Tho walking around the city like this wasn’t as much fun, most people just thought he worked at a maid cafe. No one expected him to be a prostitute who’s client had some weird cleaning fetish.

“Okay kids listen up.” Jihoon finished chewing and looked down at the screen of his laptop, “Tomorrow is a pretty full day, Seokmin, Mingyu Jeonghan, Chan, Soonyoung, Cheol, Wonwoo,Jun you all have services tomorrow, and finally our newbie has a client.”

Everyone cheered for Josh, Jeonghan couldn’t tell if the boy looked happy or terrified, “Congrats sweetie, you’re finally gonna become a full fledged slut.”

“Yeah yeah, we’re all thrilled Josh is finally getting fucked. Seokmin you actually have a full day tomorrow, I’ll drop you off at 10am so make sure you are ready,” Jihoon continued.

“What? All day? Seokmin you’re literally the human embodiment of sunshine, well besides the fact you steal things, I’ve always wondered how you’re even a prostitute?” Josh asked swiveling on his stool to face the boy in question.

“Most of Minnie’s clients just pay for him to talk with them and listen, but honestly it makes sense who wouldn’t want him around.” Soonyoung said smiling at his boyfriend.

“Seokmin is actually most requested by our clients,” Jihoon’s tone very boos like, as he never looked up from his laptop.

“If I was a billionaire I’d pay just to have him around.” Mingyu stated picking up another slice of pizza.

“He also occasionally has clients who want sex, but also not a surprise, like have you seen his jawline.” Jun added

“And those thighs ” Hansol called from the counter raising his pizza slice up in the air, as if to prove his point more.

“Okay sluts back off my man!” Soonyoung said protectively. Sekomin covered his face with his hands but you could still see his large smile.

“So like you and Soonyoung, and you guys.” Josh faced Hansol and Seungkwan, “You are all fine with your boyfriends sleeping with other people?”

“Yeah of course.” Seungkwan said like it was the most normal thing in the world.

“It’s different, sex is our job, when we’re with a client that’s not real. Sometimes the sex can feel good but at best it’s just sex, there is no connection or spark. But when I have sex with Soonyoung it’s completely different, it’s real, there’s stumbling and talking, and laughing between sloppy kisses.” Seokmin says softly smiling uncontrollably. Soonyoung reaches over Jihoon and holds his boyfriends hand.

“I’m going to throw up,” Jihoon deadpanned leaning down to look at his screen.

“Awh I love Soonseok, Hao why can’t we be like that?” Jun sighed as he looked over at the other Chinese boy.

“Because you’re a slut.” Minghao laughed as he tired to move away from the punches he was receiving from Jun.

The others broke off into a fight about who was more of a slut Jun or Jeonghan, while Jihoon told them they were all sluts. Seungcheol decide to stay out of it like the good dad he was. Somewhere along the fighting they got onto the topic of Josh’s first client tomorrow, and started to give him helpful tips.

“Always always always GOD Always, make sure the dick is…. Normal before you do anything!” Mingyu shivers from the memory.

“Literally bring your own lube, trust me.” Minghao add’s his two cents, giving Josh a serious look.

“Take some painkillers or a muscle relaxer before a service, if you know your clients like a lot of head, or if you have multiple clients that day who want a lot of head, trust me your jaw will thank you.” Jun said rubbing his jaw gently.

“Ooooh! so how to fake an orgasm, cause you’ll need it, some of these guys are shit at fucking. Arch your back, like this.” Jeonghan decided to demonstrate by lying on the counter, the blonde slightly arches his back, creating a nice curve, the maid costume hugging to all the right places. “Use your lips, you can make an ‘o’ or even my personal favorite pouting” Jeonghan’s pretty lips form the cutest pout, “Also fluctuate your vocal chords, and say wow a lot, it also helps to sort a bounce or wiggle like this” Jeonghan throws his head back as he starts moan, and shake on the kitchen counter.

The whole room goes silent just watching the blonde wiggle around on the counter, in a tight maid costume. Everyone stares, entranced for a moment before Jeonghan stops and looks up slowly, a devilish grin on his face, he knew exactly what he was doing. Cheol was practically drooling, along with everyone else and the blonde soaked it up.

“Uh, well I think um me and Soonyoung need to … go to sleep, early day tomorrow.” Seokmin stands up shifting uncomfortably on his feet as he looks at his boyfriend.

“oH Yeah we’re gonna go…. to bed. Night everyone!” The couple quickly makes their way up to their room, door shutting behind them.

“Yeah us too, busy busy day, gotta get those 8 hours!” Seungkwan giggles as he runs upstairs dragging a smiling Hansol along.

One by one the others we’re making excuses why they needed to go off to their rooms for the night. Until it was just Jeonghan and Chan left, the blonde boy grabbed a slice of pizza smiling to himself as he re-crossed his legs, sitting back on his spot at the edge of the counter.

“Yoon Jeonghan, you’re one evil man.” Chan shook his head as he walked over to the other.

Jeonghan smiled widely, proud of himself for clearing a room of 10 other guys just by flaling around the kitchen counter in some maid costume. Maybe it was a little wrong, but Jeonghan has been like this his whole life, he craved attention, the kind of love where he was admired, almost even worshipped, it was unhealthy and pretty fucked up, honestly, he blames his mother.

Jeonghan took a bite of his pizza, looking at the youngest member “I know, I love me." Jeonghan sighs as he places the pizza down,  "Luckily since you’re the only smart one Channie, you can be a good son and help me clean the kitchen!”

“I'm not your son and you are literally crazy, honestly no, you’re all crazy” Chan sighed, but started clearing up the kitchen counter.

“Yeah yeah, but you love us anyways” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor everyone, so much teasing WOW! Also the idea of Jeonghan in a maid costume is literally getting me through my stupid existence! And woo this story finally starting to roll, what's in the duffle bags?? What happened in Hansol's past ?? Wow so many questions!! Comment what you think is going to happen in the comments, AND ALSO thanks so super much for all the love and kinds words I was literally shook, and ON MY BRITHDAY!? WOW (well technically it's still my birthday, and I'm posting another chapter wow i'm crazy!) Hope you're all enjoying it so far! As always Happy Reading! <3
> 
> Come yell at me or talk about SVT @Strawbhannie on Instagram :)


	4. The thief, the angel, the baby, and the psychopath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soonseok flashback  
> Jeongcehol gets steamy  
> Channie meets his client  
> and Wonwoo almost kills Mingyu 
> 
> wow so much happening in this chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has some smut *hehu* ( probably written poorly?)  
> mentions of blood again yikes!  
> and so much angst!  
> hopefully, that's everything that could possibly need to be tagged for warnings if I missed anything you feel should be tagged let me know <3  
> happy reading cuties!

Seokmin pants as he ran down the alleyway, clutching the stale bread in his hands. He kept tripping over his own two clumsy feet as he tried to pick his pace up, his little legs were to slow and he wiped out on the hard ground. He heard the sound of heavy footsteps coming towards him and he shook trying to pull himself up, he reached for the bread that had fallen out of his grasp.

“Hey you, come here, quickly!” A voice hissed, Seokmin’s head shot up at the voice, as he tried to control his shaking “I won’t hurt you, come on hurry, they’re catching up!” the boy the voice belonged to came closer not waiting for Seokmin to get up on his own. His hair was dark almost blending into the darkness of the abandoned alleyway and his cheeks were round and flushed from the cold January air.

He reached down picking up the bread and taking Seokmin’s shaking hand in his own. He began to run pulling Seokmin with him, the dark-haired boy dragged him through alley after alley until they came to a big clearing that let out on the edge of the city. They stopped running, slumping onto the ground trying to catch their breath.

“Are you okay?” His rescuer asked, his small chest heaving from the recent activity.

Seokmin nodded, “Yes, I think so, thank you for helping me.”

“Those guys are monsters who take what they want, don’t mention it.”

“Right...take what they want... I don’t have any money or anything to repay you, I have this bread tho. It’s not the freshest, I’m sorry, but I would be happy to share.” Seokmin held the bread out to the boy, finally getting the chance to get a good look at him. His clothes were clean, they looked new even, and he didn’t seem to have any marks or bruises on him like Seokmin did. He almost looked like one of the kids he would see playing on the fancy gated playground with their parents, the ones who weren’t allowed to play with kids like Seokmin.

“You don’t have to repay me, only if that's what you want to do. I’m Soonyoung by the way.” The boy smiled, his eyes matching his mouth. Seokmin couldn’t help but giggle as he ripped his bread in half and gave a part to the boy.

“I’m Seokmin,” the two ate the bread quietly enjoying each other's company. It almost seemed comforting, like they had known each other forever, like somehow they belonged. Seokmin froze when he heard heavy footsteps, his hand quickly drifted over to Sooyoung's sleeve gripping the fabric tightly. The two boys stayed dead quiet until the sounds passed.

“Don’t be afraid I won’t let them hurt you, I’ll stay by your side, we can stay like this forever.”

~

_“We can stay like this forever”_

“Hm?” The soft sound of his boyfriend's voice pulled him out of his long past memory.

“I said come back to bed and we can stay like this forever.” Seokmin turned to the dark haired boy cuddled up in the blankets, he smiled at him amusingly, letting the memory of the first time they met slip away.

Seokmin looked back at himself in the mirror pressing his shirt flat with his hands and sighed fixing his hair.

Everyone was always so nice to him, always berating him with compliment after compliment, he never really got it tho. He pulled at the soft skin on his face, ran his fingers over his jawline, he never felt whole, not really. The love others gave him felt so jaded, almost like he was viewing it behind glass. He’d been pickpocketing and taking what he wanted his whole life, so maybe somewhere along the line he stole love as well, maybe nothing is truly his if everything he has is stolen.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” Soonyoung mumbled into a pillow, mornings weren’t really the best for him.

Seokmin smiled, “You’re half asleep how could you even tell?”

“I have strong boyfriend senses, come here”

Seokmin gave in to his needy boyfriend and crawled onto the bed towards him, who immediately discarded the pillow and wrapped his arms around Seokmin, pulling him into his neck. Soonyoung moved as close as he possibly could and breathed him in.

_This love seems real, but if it’s stolen then it’s not mine._

“Babe I have to go soon”

“Noo stay with me,” Soonyoung whined as he held him tighter, Seokmins heart ached, he really did love Soonyoung, and Soonyoung loves him.

_Why does that seem so far from the truth then?_

“Hoonie is taking me and you know how he gets when one of us is late, or when we call him Honnie,” The couple both snorted through their nose remembering the short boy reprimanding them for the cute nickname.

“Okay fine, but only because I’d have to kick Jihoon’s ass if he made my baby cry” Seokmin smiled widely as he untangled himself from his boyfriend and sat up.

“Yes, but then Cheolie would kick your ass, also probably so would Jihoon, I’ve literally seen him break someone’s rib cage”

“I could take him! I could take both of them! You don’t think I could take him!?” Seokmin laughed at his boyfriend who was now sitting up as well his face cute and pouty, arms crossed in protest.

“How about I go meet Jihoon so you don’t have to kick anyone’s ass” Seokmin kissed him gently before standing up and fixing his clothes again.

“I love you, be safe, think of me” Seokmin rolled his eyes at the cheesy line, as he slipped his shoes on.

He responded, “Always,” as he opened the door to their room.

_Maybe if he doesn’t think about it, it won’t consume him, maybe._

“Wait you didn’t answer my question! You don’t think I can take Cheol !?”

“Of course you can baby you can do whatever you want.” Seokmin praised winking at his boyfriend before he closed the door.

He jumped as he turned around and saw Seungcheol in the hallway leaning against the wall next to the bathroom door, his eyebrow raised in a question. Seokmin shook his head mouthing the words no way, which received a toothy grin from Seungcheol. He rolled his eyes laughing to himself and waved Seungcheol bye as he ran downstairs to meet Jihoon who was going to take him to his first service of the day.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Jeonghan pressed the soft washcloth into his face, gently patting it dry, he looked at himself in the mirror tilting his chin to get a better look. He gently tugged at the skin on his face, his mother’s voice ringing in his head, reminding him not to be too rough or he’d get wrinkles. He heard some shuffling outside, without a second thought he opened the bathroom door.

“I know you’re out there just come in” Jeonghan went back to his face routine as he heard the sound of bare feet on the bathroom tile and the soft sound of the door close.

“Good morning” Jeonghan didn’t have to look to tell the other was smiling at him, he rolled his eyes adjusting the fluffy headband he was wearing to hold back his bangs.

“Cheol isn’t there literally anything else you could be doing than watching me get ready?”

“But I like watching you get ready.” The older boy pouted, and Jeonghan sighed upset with himself for being affected by the others face.

“Fine, not like you were gonna listen anyway.” Jeonghan reached for his toothbrush.

Seungcheol wrapped his arms around the smallers waist and placed a kiss on his neck, “You know I’m not just here to fuck, we can spend time together”

Jeonghan snorted through his nose taking the toothbrush out of his mouth. “You’re joking right?”

Seungcheol buried his frown into Jeonghan’s neck as he continued to kiss the soft skin, “Is it really so hard to believe that I actually like spending time with you.”

Jeonghan breathed out deeply as he finished brushing his teeth, “Sure I could believe it, but that’s not what we do, so I don’t.” Jeonghan felt Seungcheol’s arms loosen around his waist, he saw the slightest hint of a frown for a second but wrote it off as nothing as soon as he was pushed against the wall of the bathroom, hands on his waist, lips on his neck biting and sucking the sensitive skin.

This was a normal thing for the two, Jeonghan couldn’t remember when it started but it wasn’t anything serious. Just emotionless sex, it was beneficial, they were both good looking and very good at sex, why would they not mess around, at least that’s what Jeonghan thought. He let out a soft moan as Seungcheol trailed kisses from his neck up to his jawline.

“Come to my room tonight.” Seungcheol kissed his neck hungrily.

“I have a service tonight I’ll be too tired” Jeonghan dipped his head back giving Seungcheol more access as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“That’s fine, we can just sleep” Jeonghan laughed in the larger boys arms.

“Shhh enough with the jokes” Jeonghan put a finger to his lips, Seungcheol looked a little sad like he wanted to protest, but it was gone as fast as it came. Jeonghan bit his lip and gave Seungcheol a small smile before he slowly lowered himself down so he was kneeling in front of the older. He placed his hands on either side of his hips, as he looked up at Seungcheol, he nuzzled his nose against his pajama pants reveling in the doe-eyed boy's reactions. With one swift motion, he pulled the waistband of his pants down releasing his already hard length.

  
“Oh fuck Hannie” Jeonghan smiled hearing his name all whinny out of his bosses mouth, as he took Seungcheol deeper. He began to work fast, stealing hushed moans and whines from the taller. Maybe it was wrong, or insane but Jeonghan loved the power he felt when he was able to turn Seungcheol into a needy mess.

Jeonghan wanted more, loved being able to make Seungcheol bend to his will, he started to slow down his pace, painfully slow. The sounds coming from Seungcheol were desperate, as he tried to buck his hips, but Jeonghan had a good hold on him.

“No no no, not yet,” Jeonghan smirked up at Seungcheol who pouted in return. Jeonghan almost caved at the sight but he wasn’t about to back down now, not when it was so much fun. He continued to move his mouth slowly drawing out every moan that left Seungcheol’s plump lips. He brought his hand up starting to stroke a little faster, as he slowly let his tongue slide over the tip. Seungcheol was whining louder now, hips shaking with how much he wanted to thrust into Jeonghan’s pretty mouth with full force.

The blonde boy gasped as he felt two strong hands lifting him off the floor and onto the counter, Seungcheol’s mouth was pressed against Jeonghan’s sloppily, forcing his tongue inside, trying to taste all of him. His body was on fire as Seungcheol’s hands were roaming over it, finding their way to Jeonghan’s crotch. He moaned into the tallers mouth as he felt a soft hand grab his dick firmly, Seungcheol didn’t even give Jeonghan a moment to catch his breath as he slid his hand inside his pants and began quickly pumping up and down.

“F-fuck Cheol.” Jeonghan let the words escape his mouth as he leaned against the mirror in the bathroom, Seungcheol stood between his legs moving his hand so fast Jeonghan thought his dick was gonna fall off. He stopped suddenly causing Jeonghan to whine his head feeling dizzy at the quick change of sensations. Seungcheol pulled the panting boy forwards and ripped his shirt off, as soon as the garment was discarded, he pressed his lips against the blondes, kissing him deeply, possessively almost. He placed his hand on Jeonghan’s lower back and lifted him up with one hand as he slid his pants off with the other.

Jeonghan loves being in control, he never lets go of his power, but without him even noticing Seungcheol seems to be the one in charge, and always to Jeonghan's surprise it never bothers him that much. Honestly, it made his skin hot and his breath shallow when Seungcheol would pick him up and manhandle him like he weighed no more than a little doll.

Seungcheol took a step back to look at the boy in front of him. Jeonghan was slumped against the mirror, his back arched ever so slightly. He had his legs spread wide, knees bent as his feet pressed into either side of the counter, while his arms were balanced behind him using them to hold him up. His slim chest was moving up and down as he struggled to get his breathing controlled. Seungcheol looked at him as if he were a piece of art.

“Hannie you look so fucking beautiful” Jeonghan saw the lust twinkle in the older boys eyes. Saw the way he ran his tongue over his bottom lip, staring at Jeonghan taking in his naked body. He felt that rush of power come over him again and was already planning what commands to give the older, to watch him fluster as he tried to please him.

“I want you to cum for me” Jeonghan’s mouth fell open as any command he was planning to use faded away. He wasn’t expecting Seungcheol to be the one to command him, and Jeonghan wasn’t expecting his heart rate to increase either.

The blonde boy bit his lip and moved his hand slowly to his erection, he only got two pumps in before Seungcheol’s low voice caused him to stop.

“No no no,” he had the same tone Jeonghan had used earlier, he leaned in so his mouth was just by Jeonghan’s ear, the warm breath causing him to shiver “Not there.”

Jeonghan became stiff as the realization slowly sunk in, holy hell. Jeonghan was trying to figure out Seungcheol’s game, maybe it was because he denied his invitation to come to his room, he didn’t know his head was cloudy now as Seungcheol pulled away watching him. Jeonghan brought his long slender fingers to his mouth and began to suck them slowly, keeping his eyes locked on Seungcheol’s. He made sure his fingers were properly coated before he brought them down to his entrance. He took one finger and slowly circled it a few times watching the way Seungcheol vibrated with impatience. _And just like that the powers back again._ That’s one area where the two boys were different, Jeonghan never showed his tells or weakness, whereas Seungcheol always did, even if it was unintentional.

Jeonghan figured he made the other suffer long enough and slowly slid one finger inside himself. He kept his eyes locked on Seungcheol, not wanting to miss the longing look in the olders eyes. He slowly moved in and out finding a good rhythm before he added another finger. He could feel Seungcheol’s eyes burning on him, loved the rush of captivating someone, of making them only see you. He felt heat rush over him as he began to slide another finger inside, stretching himself out.

“Faster” Seungcheol’s voice rang out dripping with a small hint of a moan. Jeonghan noticed his hand stroking his own length as he watched. Jeonghan failed to suppress his own moan as he obeyed picking up his pace.

“That’s a good boy, you like fucking yourself like a dirty little slut don’t you” Jeonghan moaned loudly at his words he felt his body start to tremble slightly. Seungcheol stepped closer gripping his thighs roughly. Jeonghan pushed into himself faster, the feeling of Seungcheol gripping and rubbing his thighs, edging him closer to his climax.

“That’s it baby, cum for me” Jeonghan moaned leaning forward to try and reach deeper. He had a sudden urge to obey Seungcheol, he wanted to please him. Win the game the two would constantly play back and forth.

“Do you want me to help you?” Seungcheol purred into his ear, Jeonghan whined in response, it was needy as he nodded furiously, keeping up his steady pace.

“I want to hear you, what do you want?” Jeonghan shivered as he squeezed his thighs harder demanding him to be vocal.

“P-please, help me, I want you to f-fuck me.” Jeonghan breathily got out, Seungcheol wasted no time kissing the boys head giving him praise for obeying. He lined himself up as Jeonghan removed his fingers, he took a deep breath looking at Jeonghan to make sure he was ready before he pressed himself into the smaller. Seungcheol stayed still for a minute as he felt Jeonghan grip around him, once he felt Jeonghan relax he slowly started moving his hips back and forth. Jeonghan moaned and squirmed underneath him wrapping his arms around the other's neck to keep his balance.

Jeonghan noticed Seungcheol try, but seemed to find it almost impossible to go slow, The two’s skin glowed with small beads of sweat, the mirror beginning to fog over. Seungcheol bucked his hips roughly pounding into the smaller, Jars and bottles that lined the shelf above the mirror began to shake as Jeonghan yelped loudly not being able to contain his pleasure. He dug his nails into Seungcheol’s back as he slammed into him.

“Too loud” Seungcheol pressed his mouth onto Jeonghan’s to keep him quiet. The kisses were sloppy and wet as Jeonghan moaned into the others mouth. Seungcheol didn’t slow his pace down feeling Jeonghan start to twitch.

“I’m so c-close Cheolie.” Jeonghan’s body shook as his nails pressed deeper into Seungcheol’s back. It only took his soft voice and Seungcheol moaned loudly dropping his head onto Jeonghan’s shoulder as he felt himself shudder, he pumped into Jeonghan riding out his climax. He felt thick hot liquid coat his stomach, as Jeonghan whimpered under him, shaking as his orgasm took over him.

Just as the two were coming down, the door to the bathroom opened, followed by a yawning Joshua just trying to use the bathroom. He stopped quickly his eyes widening mouth falling open at the sight of the two. “Oh Wow, Oh I’m sorry oH.” Josh gasped covering his eyes with his hands, It took him a few tries to successfully backtrack out of the bathroom, stumbling into the wall before finally managing to make it out and close the door.

Jeonghan and Seungcheol broke out into laughter, their forehead pressing together, “Poor kid.” Seungcheol sat up slowly helping Jeonghan off the counter.

“We probably scarred him for life.” Jeonghan giggled as he wet a washcloth and turned to face the other. Seungcheol laughed as he watched the blonde boy clean his stomach, on instinct his hand moved to brush Jeonghan’s hair out of his eyes.

“He did look really cute tho.” Seungcheol’s eyebrows raised as the younger stated, looking up at him with a smirk on his face. “Maybe next time he will join us.”

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Chan looked out the window from the back seat of the car, the city passed by in lights and buildings. Usually Chan takes the metro, or walks even but Mingyu and Wonwoo were heading out on an errand and insisted on taking their youngest member. Chan leaned his head on the window, his two drivers going on about the something, he zoned them out when he realized it was not worth his time. He let his mind wandered until they pulled up outside of the familiar hotel.

“Alright Channie, here is your stop, have fun.” Mingyu looked back at the younger flashing a toothy smile.

“Be safe, call us if anything happens and we will come right back.” Chan rolled his eyes at Wonwoo giving him instructions like a worried parent.

“Thanks, dads” He shot a quick grin to the two before he strolled off into the hotel. He always enjoyed coming to this hotel, the soft piano music that filled the lobby, the smell of fresh flowers, and crystal chandeliers that hung over his head. It was nice, made him feel important and safe, a luxury that he could only dream of.

He walked through the lobby making his way to the elevator. Watching a couple check in, the two were holding hands and smiling at each other, they looked so in love, as much as he denied it, Chan was a romantic at heart. Despite Jeonghan’s long rants about how love is just some chemical reaction in the brain, bla bla bla, hallmark card writer bull shit, Chan felt the blonde was just bitter, or messed up over his parents, but aren’t we all.

Chan bit the inside of his cheek as he waited for his floor. Making his way to the room he was supposed to meet his client in, he knocked three times, it was almost like their code, so he knew it was him. The two never planned it, Chan just always happened to knock three times, and a silent agreement was made.

The door opened in no time at all and Chan made his way inside, he took his backpack off letting it fall on the floor with a soft thud, and then made his way straight to the bed dropping down onto it.

“You’re late” A familiar voice called from the bathroom and a small smirk grew on Chan’s face at the sound.

“I know, I like making you wait,” Chan spoke up as the other walked out, a few buttons were undone on his shirt and his sleeves were rolled to his elbows. He looked at Chan fondly as he leaned against the door frame watching him.

“You know you’re making him wait, not me.”

“Even better than.” Chan smiled as he sat up crossing his legs underneath him, he watched as the brown-haired man walked to the side of the bed.

“What did you gather this time” Chan leaned in, as the other reached his hand out and rubbed Chan’s cheek softly.

He breathed out deeply, recounting all the information he’s gathered since their last meeting, “Well there is a new guy now Joshua Hong, Seungcheol wants to keep him clean, just a prostitute and nothing else, but he is pretty boring. I don’t think he is gonna cause to much trouble, but then again he did stumble on Seungcheol and the others doing a job. He came and asked me about the basement, who knows if Seungcheol will even allow him to get involved, the guy is an idiot the way he thinks with heart all the time.” The other chuckled letting go of Chans face and retreating to the small bar in the room to go pour a drink for himself.

Chan was quiet for a moment watching the other, the tv softly playing, Hachan, his client, usually liked to play it just to have background noise. “Hachan is there anything he wanted to tell me?”

Hachan walked back over holding the drink in his hands, he took a sip before looking down at the boy on the bed. “He wants you to keep an eye out as always and lay low, apparently he has something planned and he wants you as far away as possible, also he loves you.”

“You added that last part.” Chan sighed as he kneeled on the bed so he was eye-line with Hachan, he took the drink from the other and downed the rest.

“He does love you, you know that right.” Hachan sighed almost sympathetically as he took the glass away from Chan and walked over to place it back on the counter. Chan got up and followed the other, slipping his arms around his waist. Chan knew that Hachan was just saying that to make him feel better, it didn’t.

“You love me right?” Chan asked the only answer he really wanted to know. Hachan relaxed into the others touch, his back was to Chan but he could tell he was smiling.

“Of course” Hachan responded simply, without any hesitation, as he turned around in the younger's arms, he placed a kiss on his head. Chan leaned in to kiss him more, but Hachan moved away.

“You know I don’t like doing anything when we meet like this, I don’t want to pay for you.” He ran his thumb over Chan’s lips gently.

Chan rolled his eyes and grabbed the others face, “Technically he paid for me, and we have an hour.” Chan started to kiss him to prevent any protests, if things were different the two could be together all the time, not just in hour meetings once a week, but things aren’t different, and thinking like that is just wasteful and painful.

“Well, I do miss you, so much.” Hachan smiled in between kisses, Chan pulled him closer as he walked backwards until he felt Hachans legs hit the bed, he placed a hand on his chest and pushed the other down onto the bed.

“Then show me how much.”

  
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

  
“Jesus Wonwoo! That’s a stop sign!” Wonwoo chuckled as he looked over at his tense passenger.

“You know how I drive, and you still let me, this is on you.” He saw Mingyu shoot him a look from the corner of his eye. To be fair Wonwoo did give hin puppy eyes until the taller agreed to let him drive, but Wonwoo’s not gonna bring that up.

“You know full well I can’t resist your dumb pouty face, plus someone had to come with you, help pay your debt, and make sure you don’t kill anyone, apparently I’m not doing a very good joB STOP LIGHT! RED LIGHT!” Mingyu covered his eyes as horns blared, and curses were yelled. Wonwoo laughed looking over at Mingyu who had slid down in his seat, he always found it cute when the tall lanky boy made himself small, like a little puppy.

“You’re fine, did you die, did they die, no”

Mingyu crossed his arms, “As soon as we stop this car I’m driving, and cutting up your license.”

“I don’t have one remember, they don’t give them to psychopaths” That wasn’t necessarily true, more like no parents, and his ‘legal guardian’ if you could even call him that, (he was a parole officer granted the honor to be responsible for Wonwoo), decided he was too reckless and unstable to drive a car.

“Jesus how did I forget that, why the hell did I agree to let you drive?” Mingyu gasped, genuinely concerned for his own well being.

“Probably all the dicks, rotting your brain” The two laughed, Mingyu placed his hand on Wonwoo’s thigh, the mood changing ever so slightly.

“You’re not a psychopath, you know that right ?” His tone was softer now, it was the tone Mingyu always used when he was calming or reassuring the older down.

Truthfully Wonwoo wasn’t sure if he was a psychopath or not, but he did know he was grateful for Mingy. The tree had been there for him when no one ever was. The two met at a rehabilitation center for the addicted and mentally disturbed, Wonwoo a patient, and Mingyu a visitor. He was the first person to not act scared around Wonwoo, or make him feel like a monster.

“When we get there I’ll run in and deal with the payment, I don’t think you should come in after what happened last month,” Mingyu spoke softly, still rubbing comforting circles into Wonwoo's thigh.

“Yeah, I’m still sorry about that.” Some days were worse than others, especially when he couldn’t stand the way the asshole was looking at Mingyu and the way he talked to Wonwoo like he owned him still.

“Don’t apologize, it’s not your fault, plus the guys is an ass.”

It happened a few years ago, the ever-present darkness taking over, he didn’t mean to snap but it all happened so quickly. He saw red as he held his court-ordered legal guardian against the wall, blood running down his arm as his fingernails dug into soft skin. Hand squeezing tightly as the life slowly started to drain from the other, it was a thrill that Wonwoo found himself enjoying, more than he would have liked to. He doesn’t know what would've happened if Mingyu hadn't shown up, he convinced the guardian to not call the cops and let the two pay for his silence. Wonwoo still thinks about what would of happens if Mingyu didn’t stop him, would he be able to stop himself, he’d like to hope so, it was a terrifying thought he didn’t let himself think about too much.

“I could just take care of it, we wouldn’t have to keep wasting money on this useless swine. You could use the money for your parent's treatments, nursing school.” Wonwoo always felt bad about Mingyu helping him pay for his freedom, but like he could ever convince a con artist of anything, sometimes it seems like Mingyu is always a step ahead of everyone else.

“No we don’t need any more messes then we’re already in, and don’t worry about my parents I’m still making enough to help you and them just slowly, and nursing school is just some dumb dream I had when I was like 12.” Mingyu gives the other a reassuring smile.

Wonwoo pulls up to the familiar apartment blocks, he spent most his life in. He watches Mingyu slide out the car as he makes his way inside. He feels disconnected almost, Mingyu's words play in his head again, _You’re not a psychopath, you know that right_?” He really wants to believe the other, he really does. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "HIS DICK FELL OFF" I'm sorry about adding that part during the Jeonghceol smut I literally had to. Wow so much going on, everyone is so angsty oof! I really hope this isn't too messy and everyone can follow along, writing like 13 different peoples, perspectives and storylines is kinda hard, but I have so much in store for this story and I really want to be able to capture it properly. I really want to portray each character and give some insight to their backgrounds, and really show their flaws, since each one of these characters are severely damaged one way or another and things are going to get way messier so stick with me. I really hope this story reads well, I'm open to suggestions! Just please don't be too mean cause lowkey im a giant baby. ANYWAYS! wow, the steamy Jeongcheol am I right?? and poor Minnie, no everyone loves you don't be insecure! Also, what's up with Chan, who is he meeting, whats going on!? And meanie is just meanie what can I say ?? AND DID WONWOO KILL HIS PARENTS ??? (I'm so dumb omg) OKAY I'm done rambling, as always thank thank you for all the lovely comments and kudos, they really get me pumped to write more, and as always happy reading <3 
> 
>  
> 
> Come yell at me or talk about SVT @Strawbhannie on Instagram !


	5. What happens after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Verkwan loves to gossip (well mainly Seungkwan)  
> Jihoon hates his life  
> Josh finally has a service  
> A secret meeting takes place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WoW I WRote half if this in the shower on my phone??  
> Sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes!  
> Happy reading cuties! 
> 
> also, mention of drugs? just in case anybody is uncomfy

“Oh, you poor baby” Seungkwan reached over the counter and patted Josh on the cheek. 

 

“We’ve all been there dude,” Hansol says between chewing, as he shovels more cereal into his mouth. 

 

“So that’s just like a normal thing for them to do, they just make love whenever” Josh looks between the two, pushing back the images of what he just witnessed in his head. 

 

Vernon and Seungkwan gave each other amused looks before looking back at the older boy. “Making love ?” Hansol asks, a big toothy grin plastering his face. 

 

“Yeah they were probably doing a lot of things but making ‘love’ wasn’t one of them,” Seungkwan stated using air quotes when he said the word love. 

 

“Dude how are you even a prostitute?” Hansol chuckled eating another spoonful of cereal.  

 

“Babe he’s not yet, he won't become one until tonight.” The couple started talking about Josh like he wasn’t standing two feet away from them on the other side of the counter. 

 

“Okay wait, so they aren’t dating !?” Josh interrupted loudly, bringing attention back to himself. 

 

“Who Cheolie and Hannie?” Seungkwan asked putting his coffee cup down. “Of course not, Jeonghan has the emotional grasp of a rock, the last time he showed any trace of affection for anyone was when Mingyu bought him some expensive moisturizer after he had spilled it all, but that’s beside the point.” 

 

“So they’re not dating? They just mak- have sex?” Josh quickly corrected himself, as not to get made fun of again.

 

“Yup, but it’s painfully obvious to everyone in the house that Cheol is in love with Jeonghan, well to everyone but Jeonghan.” Seungkwan sighs as he takes another sip from his pink coffee mug that has the word queen across the front, Hansol bought it for him.

 

“Joshy don’t try to keep up with who’s fucking each other around here, it’s too confusing.” Hansol lifts his cereal bowl and drinks the milk from it as Seungkwan watches him fondly.

 

“Between Jeongcheol, and the china line, that somehow goes into Meanie, that’s what I and Hansol call Mingyu and Wonwoo. That whole group is like a weird love square. Plus the crazy sexual tension between Jihoon and Seungcheol sometimes, but also Jeonghan and Mingyu? Yeah, it’s exhausting, these morons can’t keep it in their pants,” Seungkwan sighs exaggeratedly.

 

“Oh Kwannie please, not like you and Hansol don’t go at it every night, your room is right next to mine.” Jun smiles at the couple as he walks into the kitchen. 

 

Hansol giggles “Yeaaaah” 

 

Seungkwan rolls his eyes at his boyfriend, “Bullshit, you’re hardly ever in your room. You and Hao, oh and Mingyu, and that one time with Jeonghan, or that time with Seungcheol, whatever the hell you’ve got going on with Wonwoo, oh and what about the time you had a threesome with Soonyoung and S-” 

 

“Thank you Kwannie!” Jun cut the younger off as he emerged from the fridge with the carton of almond milk, Seungkwan smiles cheekily sipping his coffee again.

 

“Why were you talking about everyone's sex life anyway, well besides the fact that your Seungkwan and you love to talk about everyone’s...well everything.”Jun poured himself a drink, Josh made a mental note about Seungkwan, a gossip seems pretty fitting. 

 

“It’s called being informed you walking cum dump, and Shua walked in on Cheol and Hannie going at it in the bathroom this morning.”  

 

Jun makes a face at Seungkwan’s use of the words ‘cum dump’ before he looks at the older boy “Ahh, ewww, yeah we’ve all been there, I’m surprised Jeonghan didn’t ask you to join them.” 

 

“H-he would do that?” Josh was surprised at the little tinge of want he felt in the pit of his stomach, way  _ way _ deep down. 

 

“Yeah,” The three of them said in unison looking at Josh like it was obvious. 

 

“Why, do you wanna join them?” Jun smirked wiggling his eyebrows at the American. 

 

“N-no no of course not” Josh was a stuttering mess, again,  _ damn this whore house.  _ Luckily Wonwoo and Mingyu came down into the kitchen just in time to come to his aid. 

 

“Hey don’t pick on Joshy” Mingyu yawned as he walked over and draped his arm around the smaller, he wasn’t wearing a shirt, Josh noticed it was a trait of his he didn’t mind. 

 

“You don’t even know what we were picking on him for.” Seungkwan stuck his tongue out at Mingyu. 

 

“If it’s Josh, it’s probably something sex-related. I honestly can’t iterate this enough, you really shouldn’t be here. I’m so worried we’re gonna break you and you’re so cute and innocent.” Wonwoo sighed as he filled the kettle with water to make some tea. 

 

Josh wanted to be angry, but it was kind of his own fault. He’s been blushing and stuttering at the slightest mentions of sex since he got here. Obviously, he didn’t mean to, it’s just he had never been around people so openly….sexual. Since the short time he’s been here, he’s already seen and heard enough things to fill his ‘spank bank’ (another word he learned from Jun) for a lifetime. 

 

“I’m not that innocent, you’re all just….. experienced,” that word seemed nicer than any of the other words Josh was thinking of, “And I'm not used to it, that’s all.” 

 

The rest smiled at him amusingly, “Sweetie, you didn’t even know what a top and bottom were” Seungkwan teased the older boy.

 

“They told you about that! and how was I supposed to know, I’m a church boy from L.A!” Josh tried to defend himself, refusing to think about how many other things Seungcheol and Jihoon might have told them. 

 

“Dude L.A is like the gayest state.” Hansol laughed, and Josh visibly deflated at the true statement. 

 

“Guys stop picking on poor Joshy, there’s nothing wrong with being innocent.” Wonwoo squeezed Josh’s cheek and he sighed at the mocking act. 

 

Maybe they were a little right, but there is no denying everyone in this hell house is attractive, and sometimes something inside Josh wants to rip the clothes off of all of them and let them do what they want with him.  _ Damn this whore house,  _ all his years as a good boy are slowly being ripped away one shirtless Mingyu at a time.

 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

  
  


“Oh MY gOD just pick one!” Jihoon moaned loudly, they had been standing in the cereal aisle for 4 minutes now, while Seungkwan and Minghao fought over what cereal everyone in the house liked best. 

 

They had finished dropping off the others to their services and the ones who were off decided to go do some grocery shopping. Jihoon knew it wouldn’t be a pleasant experience, but the last time Vernon, Seungkwan, and Minghao all went shopping on their own the house was filled with nothing but hot Cheetos and cookies.   

 

“Here let’s just get both now everyone is happy.” Vernon took the boxes off the two and placed them in the cart. That seemed to work as the cheeky boy and the Chinese boy dropped the petty fight. 

 

Jihoon followed behind the younger ones, trying to keep them from crashing into the display of chips. Hansol was standing on the bar holding onto the handle of the cart, Seungkwan pushing behind, his arms wrapped around his boyfriend's waist, while Minghao rode standing on the front of the cart. He held on with one hand while he picked food off the shelves with the other. 

 

“No put it back” Jihoon sighed as Minghao grabbed the third bag of hot Cheetos. 

 

“Come on Hoonie, they’re everyone’s favorites” Minghao dropped the bag into the cart, ignoring the others remarks. Jihoon sighed for what felt like the hundredth time since they’ve been in the store. In all honesty he could care less if the only things they got were junk food, he just didn’t want to hear Jeonghan and Mingyu complain about the lack of _ real food _ in the house, and more importantly he didn’t want to move the budget around to give them extra money to go re-do the grocery shopping. 

 

He finally managed to get them out of the junk food aisle, as he pushed the cart, now with all three of them hanging on, down to the produce section. He picked what he thought would suffice Jeonghan and Mingyu, lots of green shit. He felt like a mom pushing around a bunch of dumb kids, but it was late at night so the grocery store was mostly empty.

 

“We probably should pick up more condoms, pretty sure our stockpile is running low, wouldn’t want any unplanned pregnancies.” Minghao joked as he leaned into the cart, folding himself over the side. 

 

“Yeah I’m pretty sure Cheol used the last one this morning, god did he and Jeonghan really have to do it in the shared bathroom.” Hansol shook his head disgustedly. 

 

Jihoon made a noise that almost sounded like a scoff as he threw some green looking ball in the cart, he couldn’t tell if it was lettuce, maybe cabbage?

 

“Oh? Do I hear the sound of someone being a little bitter?” Seungkwan smiles at Jihoon annoyingly, sometimes he swears if it wasn’t for the laws of this land, he’d kill them all. But then again not like the laws have ever stopped him before. 

 

“I’m not, shut up.” Jihoon pushes the cart roughly causing all of them to lose their balance slightly, as they make their way over to the pharmacy section. 

 

“Yep sure, you’re totally not bitter or jealous at all, this is normal behavior.” Jihoon gave Minghao a death glare, he wasn’t jealous at all. It was more like he was worried, sorta, he really doesn’t know. It wasn’t like he’s in love with Seungcheol, probably. 

 

“It’s not like that you moron, Jeonghan clearly is interested in only sex and Seungcheol knows that but still pursues him anyway, I just don’t want to see anyone get hurt, that’s all.”  

 

“Awh wow look at that, Hoonie really does have a heart.”  Seungkwan gasps as he jokes to the other two idiots holding onto the cart, it only lasts for a second before Jihoon stops abruptly causing them all to fall off. 

 

“Go get your condoms dumbasses.” The three stumble down the aisle laughing as they go, Jihoon sighs leaning on the cart, wondering why he has to suffer like this. He freezes up at the sound of his,  _ other name _ . 

 

“Woozi?” Jihoon turns around slowly to see one of his clients standing behind him, some wine bottles in his basket, tie loosely undone.  _ Oh fuck me,  _ Jihoon wasn’t necessarily sure how to handle this situation, usually, he would blow his clients off, or tell them they needed to make an appointment, any of the rare times they would run into each other in public, but this client was different. 

 

Not different in any special way like he was hot, or they had some special connection, dating a client is against the rules that he and Seungcheol put in place anyway. This client actually was one of the worst for Jihoon, he always wanted him to dress like a kid, made him do the most humiliating things, but out of all Jihoon’s clients he spent the most, like no joke a serious amount of money, he didn’t want to piss off a client who practically paid half the bills. But he felt sick to his stomach, as he stood in front of the CEO, sweatpants on, hoodie over his head. 

 

God it’s been like a minute and he still hasn’t said anything, what should he say? Fuck of course this had to happen to him, why the hell does shit always happen to him. “Oh...hey,”   _ Nice good work Jihoon!  _

The CEO chuckled looking at Jihoon up and down, he felt disgusting, he just wanted to go home and take 30 showers. “Funny meeting you out here like this, what are you up to?” 

 

Jihoon went to answer but before he could, the idiots came back, “We got condoms, and we got the extra small ones for you.” Minghao joked as he dropped like 12 boxes of various condoms into the cart. He could kill them, he could actually turn around and strangle them all. 

 

“Oh, who's your friend Hooni-” 

 

“They’re idiots I apologize, we have to go, but you should schedule another appointment real soon.”  Jihoon winked at his client before turning back to the three idiots and walking off dragging them behind him. 

 

He felt a lot of things, embarrassment, disgust at himself, but mainly anger at the three boneheaded, brainless, absolutely fucking vacuous shit heads, he had the misfortune of accompanying.

 

“Oh, shit was that one of your clients?” Hansol asked genuinely concerned. 

 

“Oopsie!! Sorry Hoonie, if it makes you feel better we were just joking about the condoms” Seungkwan laughed apologetically. 

  
  


“You’re all fired.”   

  
  


_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

That was horrible. The sex in itself was fine, not the best Josh has ever had, but not the worst. He was just glad it was over. The anticipation had been eating him alive all day, it stopped a little, distracted when Jun and Wonwoo helped Josh get ready for his first Service. 

 

Jun did Josh’s hair for him, while Wonwoo tried to reassure him, “It won’t be that bad, an hour or so and it’s over. Try not to worry Joshy.”

 

“Just smile, pretend you're acting, just playing the part of someone else like you’re on autopilot, it helps sometimes.” Jun slung his arms around Josh, giving him a reassuring smile through the reflection of the mirror.  

 

No one had warned him about the feeling afterward. He felt dirty, nauseated even, god and so so heavy. All his limbs felt too big, too long for his body, like they were someone else's that had been attached to him. 

 

His client wasn’t mean or anything, he was actually what Josh expected based on what the others told him about their typical client base. He was old, maybe in his late 40’s early 50’s, married, Josh could tell by the ring, and the picture of his kids in his wallet. He really wasn’t surprised, honestly, he’d given up the hope that there were good people in the world a long time ago. At least the worst this man was doing to his family was lying, at least it wasn’t like his own father. 

 

The cold air blew Josh’s hair out of his face as he waited for Jeonghan to pick him up, the scar on his collarbone, long healed, stung when the sharp cold air pricked at it. A memory of his father sitting in the back of his mind like a paperweight. God, he really did feel sick, his legs weak, he wanted to sleep, wanted to be in his bed. Where was Jeonghan? They swore after a service someone would be waiting to make sure the other was safe. 

 

It had only been less than a minute, somewhere in Josh’s mind he knew that, knew he was being irrational, but it didn’t matter he was sore and dirty and cold. The money in his pocket felt like it was burning through to his skin. Maybe it was God punishing him for being a sinner. 

 

The car pulled up, Jeonghan giving the other a warm smile as he climbed in. “So your first client, you’re officially a strumpet! How did it go?” the blonde said in a sing-song voice as he pulled away from the entrance of the hotel. 

 

“It was fine,” his voice broke at the end as the bile rose in his throat, lying was harder when it felt like he was going to be sick. Jeonghan looked over at him, oh he wants Josh to illustrate, he wants details. Josh really doesn’t think he can manage that, is everything spinning or was it just him? 

 

“Sweetie, Are you okay?” Josh didn’t even have time to enjoy the pet name before his hand came to his mouth on instinct and he yelled to stop the car. As soon as they pulled off the road Josh darted out emptying his stomach on the grass that laid next to the side of the road. 

 

The hotel his client picked was a little while out of the city, Seungcheol had mentioned that was normal, especially with CEO’S who didn’t want to get caught. They were some ways away from home, trees lining the winding backroad Jeonghan had pulled off on. His body shook as another wave crashed over him, he heaved onto the grass, coughing weakly. 

 

He felt a hand begin to rub circles into his back, Jeonghan let the other lean into him for support. Josh’s legs were useless at this point, giving up as he dropped to the floor. Jeonghan held onto him, helping his fall not be too rough. The two sat on the side of the road, the moonlight causing the white on Jeonghan’s sneakers to illuminate almost. His cheeks stung as the wind blew, where the warm streaks of tears had just been, god was he crying? 

 

“Ya know, my first service was awful, I didn’t make it like you did, I threw up right on my client actually.” Jeonghan had his sleeve pulled over his hand as he began to wipe the tears from Josh’s cheeks. 

 

“R-really, what happened?” He hiccupped feeling small, it reminded him of being a kid again, scared and hopeless. 

 

“The sicko actually liked it, I started crying and ran out before the time was up, I called Seungcheol and he came to pick me up.” Jeonghan leaned his head on the car door as he looked up at the sky. 

 

“I don’t think I can do this, how do you all manage?” 

 

Jeonghan looked over at him, he had a smile, but it was sad in a way Josh couldn’t really understand. “Well everyone has their own way I guess, Mingyu says that we need to remember that they aren’t using us, we’re using them. It really does get easier, everyone in the house had bad first clients, even Hoon and Cheol. You can’t let it get to you, remember that you’re the one in control, you have all the power, and then they can’t hurt you.” 

 

“Then they can’t hurt you,” Josh repeated quietly, but mostly to himself. Strange enough Jeonghan’s words really helped, gave him some sort of comfort knowing he’s not the only one who felt this way. He wasn’t, couldn’t quit now anyway, not after he told Seungcheol he could handle it, plus he just made a shit ton of money in one night, more than he had ever made in months of working. 

 

“You’ll be okay, I promise, plus afterward you get to come home to all of us,” Jeonghan spoke gently as he gave Josh a soft smile, he never realized what a nice smile the blonde had, especially when it was directed towards him. 

 

It’s a promise Josh decided to put all his faith into, he had to be okay, for Erin he had to pull through. The two sat slumped against the car for a little while longer until it got too cold. On the drive back Josh already began to feel better, Jeonghan played the radio loud and kept Josh occupied with dumb stories, he started to wonder if maybe Jeonghan wasn’t as heartless as they joke around about, maybe it’s just a wall, protection from getting hurt. Either way he was thankful, still sore, hungry now his stomach was empty but thankful. Thankful for the car ride through back roads at 2 in the morning, for the 12 most unapologetically genuine people he has ever met, and hell he was thankful to be a strumpet, things could be a lot worst.

 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

“Fuuuuuuuuck meeeeeeeeee” Seungcheol whines as he slumps down over the countertop. 

 

“Okay, when and where” Jun smirks looking up from boxing the baggies. 

 

“Gross” Chan sighs as he carries a box over to Seungkwan. 

 

“You’re being a baby again Cheolie” Jihoon rubs comforting circles into the others back. He was being a baby, but he was stressed.

 

Their basement had turned into a fucking assembly line for drug distribution and there was nothing he could do about it. The black duffles bags discarded on the floor in the corner, bags of white powder on almost every open space of counter there was. They had been at it since they got back from their services, they needed to repack the supplies into smaller packages so it was easier for them to move without drawing too much attention, and on top of that, they still needed to find the right contact. 

 

“Don’t worry Cheol this stuff moves quickly,” Soonyoung leans down as he looks at the scale making sure it was just the right amount. He presses his finger into the powder and quickly puts it into his mouth, he tried to make it less obvious, he failed at the look Seokmin was giving him.

 

“I will when we know who the contact is, and Kijung gets off my back,” Seungcheol moan. No one noticed Chan jump at the mention of the name, all too busy with their own tasks. 

  
  


“Well even if we don’t find the contact we could just sell it ourselves right?  Make the money and then give it to Kijung?” Minghao pauses from pushing the powder into little bags as he looked up at the others. 

 

“Not necessarily, we’d have to sell it all tonight just to make the deadline, plus we’d have to make sure it was the exact amount he was expecting, the only thing we really can do is wait for Hansol to find the damn guy already” Wonwoo shot a look over at Hansol who was curled up in a beanbag chair, laptop perched on his knees. 

 

“Okay it’s really hard to find someone with no fucking information, why don’t you come over here and do it Won and I’ll pack lil baggies and pretend like I know everything.” Hansol spits back, never looking up from the screen fingers typing furiously. He had been trying to find the contact for hours now and he was starting to get irritated.

 

“Really shouldn’t be that hard, can’t you just look on the dark web or something, figure out the top sellers, then try to find out which one has been in business with Kinjung before” Wonwoo sighed throwing some baggies into the box Jun was packing. 

 

“Do you know how hard it is to get on the dark web in the first place, you can’t just google search it, there are precautions so my computer doesn’t get hacked or our location doesn’t get leaked, or the fucking cops in general. So why don’t you shut up and let me work.” Hansol grits through his teeth frustratedly.

 

Everyone grew silent as the door to the basement closed, “Wow, sounds like we’re having a good time.” Jeonghan looks around the room at everyone before walking over and leaning against the counter near Seungkwan, who paused from sort out the unpackaged bags to look over at his flustered boyfriend. 

 

“How was he?” Mingyu asked coming to stand next to the blonde.

 

“He puked, cried a bit, so normal for a first service” Jeonghan smiled sadly at the tall boy. 

 

“Are you sure he’s out, we wouldn’t want him to walk in on whatever the hell this is,” Jihoon asked looking over at the two, still rubbing Seungcheol’s back soothingly. 

 

“Yeah, I gave him something to help him sleep, usually trying to sleep after the first service is always hard, so he should be out all night.” Jeonghan watches as Jihoon rubs Seungcheol’s back, he feels something, but he can’t quite figure out what.

 

“Look, everyone, I know we’re stressed and tired and we’re all working had bu-“

 

“Finally thank the fucking lord!” Hansol shot up almost dropping his laptop, interrupting the dad speech about working together that Seungcheol was going to give, but fuck that he was just gonna bull shit anyway. 

 

“Hansol you beautiful!!” Seungcheol grabbed the honey-haired boy and kissed him on the mouth. The younger boy smiled giggling, as his boss pulled away. 

 

“UMMMM,” Seungkwan crossed his arms looking at his boyfriend. Hansol barely noticed a dumb smile on his face.

 

“Hansol, hello earth to Hansol, the contact.” Jihoon rolled his eyes at the younger. 

 

“Right yes, uh here, I’ll set up a drop off meeting.” Hansol quickly starts typing away on his laptop, keeping his eyes locked on his screen avoiding Seungkwan’s gaze, the others jump up and start packing up the rest.   

 

“Oh if you think we’re not gonna talk about this you are dead wrong Mr.Chwe,” Poor Solie. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay another update so soon, I'm sorry if this feels rushed? or if it's short and shitty, I really want to start getting to the good angsty problematic stuff because I love to suffer, OKAY ALSO so someone messaged me on Instagram asking about Kijung, and if the slut squad is working for him and the basement stuff and what's going on with that and Josh not knowing, SO, I know it's a little confusing right now but I promise all will be explained when Josh also finds out. Anything that is confusing so far I swear you will get answers too all in good time! But still, ask your questions because I love hearing everyone's theories. Hopefully, I can keep up this fast update thing I've got going on right now but knowing me probably not, but I'll try not to leave you guys hanging too long! Thanks for all the love, as always happy reading <3
> 
> Come yell at me or talk about SVT @strawbhannie on Instagram ( about anything literally, yell at me to update sooner, or about the story or your day I don't bite promise!)


	6. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start out fluffy   
> but get dark as you go, read with care!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a long chapter for being gone for a hot minute.  
> Warning for implied rape/sexual assault, there is never any actual rape, but please read with care if that makes you uncomfy!   
> (Also haven't error checked it yet, so sorry for any grammatical errors or anything!)

Josh had been living at the whore house for almost 2 months now and he was pretty surprised how well things were going. Jeonghan wasn’t lying when he said it gets easier, sure his clients weren’t always the best looking or the greatest but the sex really wasn’t that bad, and apparently they liked him a lot, Josh ended up having 3-5 services a week.

He let the warm shower water wash down over him as he closed his eyes, money was coming in good, Erin was doing well in school things were surprisingly okay at the moment. The people he lived with tended to be weird at times, during his time here he has noticed how secretive his housemates are, secret meetings, awake at weird hours of the night, and that basement they still won’t let him into. But it was probably nothing, I mean what else could he really do about it anyway. Josh quickly lost his train of thought as the shower curtain was ripped open.

 “Shua have you- stop screaming it’s me- have you seen Minghao?” Mingyu asked as Josh finally stopped shrieking covering himself with his hands.

 “UMMM, does it look like I’ve seen him Gyu!?”

“You’re no help at all Shua, really,” Mingyu pouted at the older.

“Oh my god I don’t know I think I saw him with Seokmin earlier, now will you please get out-”

“HEY MINNIE!!” Mingyu yells leaning on the sink in the bathroom, ignoring Josh’s protests.

“No Gyu get out!” Josh moans covering himself still.

“Yeah what’s up,” Seokmin says as he comes into the bathroom eating cereal out of the box.

 “Have you seen Hao? Shua said you did.”

 “Umm yeah I think he went out for a service, …. Hey Josh,” Seokmin smiles at the boy in the shower grabbing a handful of cereal and shoving it into his mouth.

 “Get the fuck out! Both of you,” Josh yells looking at the two of them.

 “Why are you all yelling?” Hansol asks coming into the bathroom as well, Josh moans letting his head hit the wall of the shower defeatedly.  “Ohh are those lucky charms?”

 “Yeah here have some” Seokmin says handing the box over to Hansol, he pours some in his mouth smiling as he chews.

 “For the love of God get out all of you!!” Josh yells.

 The three boys jump as they look at the oldest, Hansol holds out the box of cereal towards Josh making a small ‘want some?’ sound as he does. Josh sighs shrugging and takes a handful of the cereal popping it in his mouth, how is this his life.

 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 Everything in Minghao’s life had been crooked since he could remember, and sadly all he ever could remember was the bad shit. The dark dusty warehouse he spent most his life in, every bruise, every scar all filed away in some permanent filing system used to torment him on a daily basis.

 But oh well, so he had a traumatic childhood that scarred him beyond belief and caused him to struggle with apathy, he was actually pretty content with his past. Mainly because it was all he had ever known due to the fact his parents traded him in like some broken tv for a quick buck when he was a child, but also because it made him who he was. He didn’t know what to do when things were normal. There was tho one area in his life he wishes had a small bit of normality to it, but why would anything ever go his way.

 The Chinese boy shifts uncomfortably on the lap of some 45-year-old man, the feeling of hands rubbing circles on his thighs, the warm breath against his neck causing him to fight the urge to flinch away. His cheeks started to hurt from the smile he had plastered on his face, on top of that the man’s office was freezing, and the dumb outfit he bought for him to wear barely had anything to keep him warm.

 Minghao looked up at the clock on the wall, the hour was almost up and he was so ready to get this over with. He zoned out the old man awhile back, he was just whispering some shit about him being a pretty little baby, funny since he was neither of those things. God, there’s nothing Minghao loves more than coffee breath right in his face, but whatever he changed his thought to think of the thick stack of cash that’s currently sitting in the pocket of his jacket, and bought himself something nice after this is over.

 He wasn’t like the others in the house, a majority of them need money for their family, medical reasons, to avoid family, Minghao didn’t have any of that, it was really just him, well until he moved into the house. He sorta stumbled upon this lifestyle, figured it’d be better than how it was, at least here he had control over what was happening to him, had some sort of say, was able to protect himself. His original plan was to stay for 2 months make some money then move on to the next thing. That felt like so long ago, now he doesn’t think he could ever leave, even if he wanted to.

 Over time that house and the obnoxious people in it became something to him, filled some hole he didn’t know he was missing. They were exactly what he needed in so many ways. They didn’t question him on days he felt like he couldn’t say a word when he would shrink in on himself and ignore the world around him. They never minded when he woke up in the middle of the night screaming when the rage would take over. They would always be there, one way or another, a quiet presence, reassuring smiles, strong hugs, things up until a few months ago were just trivial to the Chinese boy. He worried that he was getting soft, but who wouldn’t melt at the feeling of Jun curled up in bed beside you, or Seungcheol’s dad smiles, Jeonghan when he would lovingly squeeze your cheeks or the way Mingyu would lift him off the ground when he brought him in for a hug.

 Finally, an hour is up, Minghao hopped off the old man's lap and scurried over to his bag grabbing his jacket.  He sighed when he felt two meaty hands grab his waist pulling him back in. “Awh no, you’re not leaving so soon are you?”

 “It’s been an hour if you want more time you gotta schedule it.” Minghao winks at him as he shimmies out of the man's hold. The hours up and so is Minghao’s tolerance for being touched by fat old businessmen.

 “Oh, I will be sure too.” He strokes Minghao’s cheek and the Chinese boy fights back the urge to bite his fingers off, he smirks at the man before backing right out of the office and closes the door behind him.  He visibly deflates leaning his head on the door and taking a deep breath before turning around. He almost forgot he was in an office, he remembered as soon as he noticed the secretary look him up and down causing the Chinese boy to follow her eyes. He was still wearing the dumb sailor outfit his client made him wear. He sighed deeply before walking past the receptionist, winking at her as he got on the elevator.  

 He couldn’t stop the smile spreading across his face even if he wanted to at the sight of Mingyu waiting outside for him in the car. “Oooh, wow that’s a really good look on you! Do a spin!”

 Minghao rolls his eyes as he gets in the car, “Shut up idiot.”

 “What's wrong Hao hao, bad service?” Mingyu asked as he drives off.

 “Aren’t they always, I mean it was pretty fun at the beginning he wanted me to step on his crotch with high heels,” Mingyu shook his head at the older as he continued. “But then it was boring when he just wanted me to sit on his lap in this dumb outfit,” He sighed pulling the white sailor hat off his head.

 Mingyu laughs glancing over at him, “Do you ever just get normal clients who want to have sex with you?”

 “Well there was this one guy who wanted me to fist him while wearing one of those gloves you use to wash dishes, does that count?”

 “No….. and I’m not even gonna ask” Mingyu laughs shaking his head. Minghao pouts laying back into the passenger seat. “You wanna go get some food? That always makes you feel better.”

 The Chinese boy continues to pout as he crosses his arms, “I have Cheolies card, I was supposed to go pick up some stuff for him but I don’t think he will mind if we detour” Mingyu says in a singsong voice, and Minghao perks up at that.

 “Yeah Cheolie wouldn’t mind if we got some hanwoo beef, we work hard.” Minghao sat up in his seat smiling widely.

 “We do work so damn hard,” Mingyu laughs as the two make their way to spend a ridiculous amount of their bosses money on some ridiculously good meat.

 _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Loud stupid pointless, God do they ever shut up, Jihoon had been trying to speak for at least two minutes now but these brainless bimbos will not stop talking long enough for him to get a word out. Jihoon moans loudly as he collapses over his laptop dramatically.

 “Jihoon are you okay?!” Josh asked genuinely concerned as he leans over to the smaller boy laying over his laptop.

 “Yeah he’s fine, Hoonie dies sometimes when no one is listening to him,” Seungcheol says loud enough for the others to hear as he rubs Jihoon’s back lovingly.

 “Or when life gets too boring,” Jun smiles as he sits on the couch next to Josh bringing his knees up to his chest.

 “We have to bring him back to life by-”

 “By tickling him!” Jeonghan smiles interrupting Seungcheol as he slowly starts to approach the collapsed boy.

 “I swear to God Yoon if you touch me your next client will be in a wheelchair and your service will involve you giving him a bubble bath,” Jihoon said straightening himself quickly up to glare at the other.

 “Or like that,” Seungcheol smiled amusingly as he wrapped his arm around him, Jihoon smiled slightly but only for a minute as he let himself lean into Seungcheol’s hold. Jeonghan looked over at the two, with an expression Jihoon couldn’t really read.

 “Okay, what I was trying to tell you assholes was the schedule for today, listen up fuckers, Wonwoo, Minghao, Josh, Chan, Soonyoung, Seokmin, Hansol, and Seungkwan you all have clients today, Mingyu and Jeonghan you have a service together.” He finished looking at the others.

 “How long has it been since you and I have had a client together?” Jeonghan asks the taller leaning his head on his shoulder.

 “Wow like a year or more ago, Gyu and Hannie back at it again.” He smiles at the blonde looking down at him.

 “Alright while you all get ready for your services me and Honnie have to go run some errands so we will see you guys later this evening,” Seungcheol said finally releasing Jihoon from his hold.

 “Where are you two going?” Jeonghan asked watching the two closely.

 “Not too far, we won’t be gone long,” Seungcheol smirked at the blonde who looked away, but not before giving the older a small smile, Jihoon rolled his eyes.

 ~

 The car ride was nice, anytime he spent with Seungcheol was usually nice, even when they were doing less legal things. He liked being with his best friend, not surprising since the two grew up with each other. Seungcheol was Jihoon’s everything, he didn’t like to try and think of their relationship, it wasn’t quite something you could put in a box with a label on it and put away all nice and neat. Nothing for them had ever been nice and neat.

 Messy, broken, bloody, sometimes the only sane thing in Jihoon’s life is Seungcheol, maybe that's why he holds onto him so tightly. The others don’t know or maybe in some sense they do, have seen how his eyes lose the light at the end of the day, his smile falters when no ones around, how his hands shake when he is nervous. Jihoon notices, he notices everything about Seungcheol, he puts on such a big front when underneath he’s drowning. Honestly, they’re all drowning, everyone in the house puts up such high walls, won’t let their real emotions show even for the smallest moment, they smile and joke around with each other but it’s just another wall.

 “Hoonie?” Seungcheol’s soft voice pulls Jihoon out of the rollercoaster of thoughts he just had. “Are you alright ?”

 “If you could, would you go back?” Dumb question, Jihoon knew it was dumb and unfair to ask his best friend to dig up old memories, to think about something he can never have.

 “Which time?” Seungcheol’s laugh was hollow, although he had a smile on his face Jihoon could see how dark his eyes were.“The night….. Before everything went to hell, and you and I were planning to run off together, you were gonna be a producer and hell I was just along for the ride. I’d go back to that night, I would never pick up the phone, never come back to this shithole place.”

 “Do you think we would have been better off.” Jihoon moved his hand to Seungcheol’s thigh, carelessly tracing the lines on his pants.

 “I’d like to think we would be happy, hell we’d be a lot safer.” Seungcheol breathed out deeply and the car fell into a heavy silence for a moment, as the dream died, they couldn’t go back. “I also like where we are now, it’s not the most ideal situation but we have a family if we never came back who knows where they would all be.”

 He was right as usual, the guys back home were their family now. Not to mention the loyalty they’ve shown to Seungcheol, willing to put themselves in harm's way, that alone means everything to Jihoon. “I wouldn’t go back, I think we are where we’re meant to be.”

 They fell back into the silence, the nice kind that Jihoon could fall asleep too, actually that’s just what he did, the soft music playing the wind in his hair, his favorite person next to him sleep came easily.

 Jihoon didn’t wake up until he heard the slam of the car door, he blinked a few times shocked by the darkness outside,  _how long was he out for?_

 “Hey look who’s awake?” Seungcheol said as he took the car out of park.

 “Wait did you go see Kinung without me?” Jihoon asked worried, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

 “Of course, even if you were awake I wouldn’t let you come anyway, plus I’m glad you got your sleep.” Seungcheol glanced over at the other.

 “Cheol, I don’t like that, you can’t stop me from protecting you.”

 “And the same goes for me, I’m not gonna let anything happen to you either,” Seungcheol said firmly.

 “But you’re always the one deciding, I know I’m younger than you but I’m not a fucking kid Cheol!” Jihoon didn’t mean to get defensive so quickly, but he couldn’t help it.

 Seungcheol stopped the car pulling off to the side of the road, “Look, Hoon you don’t know Kijung, you don’t know what he’s capable of. He’s dark and twisted, so are his punishments and he loves to punish” Seungcheol’s voice was low when he spoke and Jihoon didn’t even have to ask to know Seungcheol’s experienced them first hand.

 “He can’t hurt anyone I love if he doesn’t know their names or their faces if he doesn’t know who you are.” Seungcheol placed a hand on either side of Jihoon’s face gently rubbing his cheeks. His breath caught as he looked at the older. His eyes were dark but soft, plump lips inches from his own.

 Jihoon leaned in before he could stop himself, then fuck his lips were on Seungcheol’s, soft pink warm as they moved rhythmically with his own. Jihoon’s mind was spinning, he was suddenly hungry so so god damn hungry and needy as he devoured the oldest lips. Tongue sliding in as he tasted all of Seungcheol, hands running through soft hair pulling at the locks of raven hair.

 Then it hit him, first like a bug bite, a small sting that began to spread through his body, left him. feeling bitter and dirty. The image of blonde hair and perfect cheekbones was enough to make him go cold as he pulled away from the older. Breathing uneven and eyes wild as he looked at his best friend, but Seungcheol only looked back at him with soft eyes, the same eyes he’s always looked at him with. They always made him feel safe and loved but tonight he’d never felt so small.

 They smiled at each other the car falling back to the silence as Cheol began to drive home. Jihoon looked out the window placing his fingers on his swollen lips, still tingling with the warmth that was just on them.  _God help him._

  _____________________________________________________________________________________________

Josh pulled a shirt over his head with a sigh, he was getting ready for his service and Jun was lying in his bed giving him ‘fashion advice.’ Josh didn’t really care about the clothes, they were gonna come off anyway. He was partially relieved he hadn’t had to wear any costumes like he’s seen the others wear so far, tho a tiny part of him did, but that was another thing he was gonna push way down and not think about. He’s been not thinking about a lot of things lately.

 “I like that one you look sexy,” Jun purred as he sat up more on Josh’s bed. He rolled his eyes at the thin copper haired boy. Jun wasn’t wearing a shirt and Josh couldn’t tell if it was a curse or a blessing every time his comforter would fall off his slim frame, exposing his nipples.  _What the hell is this house doing to him?_

 He was about to say something when he was interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing. Jun got to it before Josh could stop him answering with a slutty voice, “Josh’s phone, Junnie speaking how may I service you?”

 Josh dove onto his bed wrestling his phone off the giggling boy, “Fuck off,” Josh laughed before bringing the phone to his ear, “Hello- Oh Rin! Hey yeah, oh that was no one what’s up?”

 Josh nodded listening to his sister as he slapped Jun’s hand away, who kept trying to squeeze his nipples. Josh’s efforts to protect his nipples died as the conversation got more serious, “Wait what- Rinnie woah don’t cry I can’t understand you, I’m coming right now just stay where you are.”

“What’s wrong?” Jun asked sitting up straight, the comforter falling off completely. Josh didn’t have time to thank god for the sight as he pulled his shoes on quickly.

 “My little sister she needs me I gotta- shit shit shit shit I have a service!” Josh put his hands in his hair pulling at the ends.

 “I can go for you…. let me do your service.” Jun said getting off of Josh’s bed.

 “Didn’t Hoon and Cheol say we aren’t allowed to do that, it’s against the rules.”

 Jun shrugged, “It’s fine, plus this is an emergency, don’t worry it’ll be fine you go help your sister and I’ll go to your service.”

 “Thank you so much! I owe you,” Josh said as he quickly hugged Jun and rushed out of the house to go meet his sister.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

“I think I look good with these, maybe I should wear them around the house?” Mingyu said as he pushes the cat ears more onto his head.

 “Why so Wonwoo and Minghao can make heart eyes at you?” Jeonghan smirks at him as he adjusts his own cat ears on his head, the two were getting ready for their service in the bathroom of the hotel room they were in.

 “Shut up….., you think they would?” The tall boy asked.

 Jeonghan rolls his eyes, “You need to get your feeling in check.”

 “Oh, you’re one to speak about feelings.”

 “I’m sorry I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Jeonghan smirks as he fixes the lace on the lingerie he was wearing.

 “You can’t be in denial forever ya know,” Mingyu says as he sighs hopping up on the counter to look at the other.

 “Oh yeah watch me, anyway don’t you think this service is a little weird, I mean we’re never here before the client, something just seems off.”

 Mingyu shrugs messing with the little bottles of hotel shampoo, “I guess, but think of all the money we’re making and we get to be together again.” Mingyu smirks pulling the other one between his legs.

 Jeonghan smiles rolling his eyes, “If you bite me as hard as last time again, I swear to god I’ll cut your dick off,” He warned as Mingyu kissed at his neck.

 “You loved it don’t lie,” Mingyu smirked as he bit into the other's neck gently.

 Jeonghan pushes him away keeping the smile on his face, “You’re an idiot lets go, the client should be here soon.”

 Jeonghan laughed as the taller of the two flopped onto the bed, his cat ears falling off his head slightly.  He crawled onto the bed and fixed Mingyu’s cat ears. The two stopped goofing off when they heard the door open, both sitting up and getting into their sexiest poses, limbs wrapped around the other. Jeonghan loves services with Mingyu, the two of them could easily relax with each other and it always made the job easier. Something felt off this whole time and now Jeonghan really felt uneasy as two of them watched their client walk in. He was wearing a suit and to their surprise, not all too ugly, but then the two stiffened as four other men walked in behind him, they were bigger and scary looking as one closed the door locking it behind him.

 Jeonghan definitely knew something was wrong now, Hoon told them everything about how this service would go, he never mentioned anything about four other people. It should have been him, seeing he is the eldest, but it was Mingyu who quickly sat up pushing Jeonghan protectively behind him.

 “Awh look at you two all pretty waiting for me like little sluts, especially you Mr. Kim,” Jeonghan felt Mingyu stiffen at the sound of his real name coming out of the client's mouth. “Oh don’t tell me you two have forgotten me already? That really hurts my feeling.”  Their client stepped closer to the bed, Mingyu made himself large shielding Jeonghan.

 “Shit,” Mingyu said under his breath, it took Jeonghan a moment before he remembered. The client did look familiar and now Jeonghan knew where.  It was back when Mingyu first came to the house, Jeonghan had helped him run a scam, it wasn’t anything too serious the two just conned him out of a few million, I guess thinking about it now, that’s pretty bad.

 “So you two remember huh, you cost me a lot of money, money I wasn’t able to get back. Do you know how fucked I was trying to get back on my feet, so imagine my joy when I found out you two are little sluts now,” Their client spat as he grabbed Mingyu pulling him off the bed.

 Jeonghan didn’t even have time to react before two men were on the bed holding him down, while the two other shoved Mingyu onto his knees holding either side of him. “Look what do you want, do you want me to pay you back I can, I can get the money just don’t hurt him, he didn’t do anything he just went along with what I told him,” Mingyu pleaded as he looked up at the client.

 “No that would be to easy wouldn’t it, I want to humiliate you, I want you to suffer liked I had to,” Mingyu and Jeonghan watched as the client looked over at the two men holding him down, Jeonghan tried to wiggle out of their grasps but he couldn’t as they began caressing him and pulling his legs apart.

 “No! Get the fuck off me you pigs!” He frowned trying to pull away with all his might, it was no use they were so strong. He see’s Mingyu out the corner of his eye, try to break out of their hold only to receive a punch to the gut causing him to bend over coughing hard.

 “Let him go! Stop he didn’t do anything!” Mingyu hacked as he looked over at Jeonghan desperately.

 One of the meatheads pressing him down shoved his nasty mouth onto Jeonghan's forcing his tongue inside, Jeonghan bit down hard until he tasted blood. The man jerked away holding his injured mouth, cursing at the blonde calling him a little bitch. The man retaliated smacking Jeonghan so hard across the face his vision started to get blurry. Mingyu gasped and shot up finally getting out of the others hold he kicked them away from him as he grabbed Jeonghan trying to protect him, someone grabbed Mingyu slamming him against the wall hard, but Mingyu didn’t stop fighting not until he heard the click of a gun.

 The client had Jeonghan pressed against him, hand around his throat as he held a gun to his head. “That’s enough! Or your pretty little friend is gonna have his blood all over the walls.” Jeonghan tried to control his trembling, he felt the sting of his cheek where the gash was from when he was smacked. The client started to move against him, making Jeonghan feel sick to his stomach. Mingyu was crying now, his face was bloody from where they had punched him, Jeonghan looked at him meeting his eyes, silently telling him it was okay.

 “Now you’re gonna sit there like a good little slut and watch us have our way with your pretty friend here,” He said as he began to kisses Jeonghan’s neck as he grinded against him. “You try anything and I swear to god I’ll blow his brains out.”

The two guys holding Mingyu pushed him down roughly as they came over to pin Jeonghan down to the bed, they spread his legs ripping off the thin layer of fabric keeping him away from being completely exposed. Jeonghan closed his eyes tightly as he heard Mingyu cry, “Please please stop, take me don’t hurt him.”  

 Jeonghan shivered stiffening up as he felt hands all over his body, he tried to fight their hold squirming around, “Gyu it’s okay,” Jeonghan felt warm tears run down his face. They were kissing him and touching him, and there wasn’t anything he could do about it, the gun pressing into the side of his head was a hard reminder of that. He kept his eyes closed tightly, this scenario to bitterly familiar. He knew what was coming next, he couldn’t stop the shaking as he waited for the sharp sting of someone forcing their way into him. He bit his lip so hard blood ran down his chin, but it never came he felt the weight lift off his body, heard the sound of fighting as he opened his eyes quickly to find the four men kicking a curled up body Jeonghan quickly guessed was Mingyu. The client was knocked out gun still loosely in his hands, Jeonghan took the opportunity grabbing it, “HEY!”

 They all turned to his attention as Jeonghan pointed it at them, it took everything in him not to shake, he remembered what Minghao taught him, back when Seungcheol had him show them how to shoot guns. Shaking is a sign of weakness, it gives the others a window to strike. He grips the gun firmer as he stands up off the bed, these guys weren’t thugs, if anything they were some guys the client hired, which meant lucky for them they were unarmed.  “Take your boss and get the fuck out of here!”

 One of the four, the one who had his tongue shoved down Jeonghan’s throat laughed through his nose, “A little thing like you would never, I bet you’ve never killed a bug let alone a person.”

Jeonghan gritted his teeth, “You don’t know shit about me,” he aimed the gun at his thigh and fired without a warning. The guy yelled in pain as he fell to the floor, “Now get out!”  The two others helped their injured partner up, as they grabbed the client and then they were gone.

 Jeonghan dropped the gun his hand shaking uncontrollably as he crawled over to Mingyu, “Gyu! Gyu are you okay!” He rolls over the taller gently, his face is covered in cuts a bruise but he’s alive. Jeonghan buries his face into Mingyu's chest as the tan boy lets the sobs take him over.

 “I’m sorry Hannie, I’m so so sorry, this was all my fault I’m so sorry!” Mingyu shakes as he sobs, Jeonghan hold him tightly wiping the tears from his cheeks and replacing them with kisses.

 “No no, shh don’t cry it’s not your fault shh, look I'm okay you saved me, you saved me, don’t cry we’re okay.” He felt the tears roll down as his cheeks as he consoled the tan boy.

Mingyu had pretty big wounds, and Jeonghan was worried that one his ribs might be broken when he saw Mingyu flinch when he tried to stand. Jeonghan helped the other to the bathroom so he could clean him up, the two needed to get out of there before the cops showed up, shooting a gun in a hotel room wasn’t the best decision but they can’t go back now. Jeonghan quickly put clothes on Mingyu apologizing when he flinched.  He grabbed everything that could be linked to them, including the gun. He put his arm around Mingyu as the two stumbled out of the hotel room. Jeonghan frowned as he felt himself trembling still shaken up over the incident, Mingyu kept mumbling apologizes as they made their way out of the hotel. The two barely made it a block away before they collapsed in an alleyway behind a few shops, falling onto the other. Has something ever just been so sad, so awful you can’t go on anymore?

“It’ll be okay, we will be okay, we’re okay,” Jeonghan repeated quietly as he held Mingyu tight against him,  _they would be okay, he’d be okay._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OF COURSE, I HAD TO ADD THE LIL SHOWER MEME, Tag yourself I'm literally hansol. WOW so I wrote this over the course of like three days, we're finally gonna start getting to the dark shit!! I'm excited, I need to update the tags of this story because it will be getting a lot darker, it will still have fluff and dumb little moments but this story will get dark, and lots of relationship drama, oh boy! Thanks for waiting for me sorry for the long wait, I will try to update on time! Thanks for all the love, make sure to follow my Instagram @strabhannie! I post updates and poll fics, and other random seventeen stuff, so feel free to follow ask your questions, state your theories, yell at me to update! Happy reading <3!!!


	7. He's falling again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeonghan copes  
> Josh lies  
> and Hansol gets roped in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated the tags because we are getting into darker shit from here on out! So please go and check those out before reading, if you're prone to be upset by darker things <3
> 
> Sorry for the long wait so here's another long chapter!

An uncomfortableness that sits on your throat, making it hard to swallow, hard to form words. ‘ _ No stop, don’t touch me,’  _ getting lost on its way out your mouth, leaving you gasping desperately.

The feeling of being unclean, that not even a thousand showers could ever take away. The sound of breathing causing acid to rise in your throat, hands on your body causing your heart to beat so fast it’s painful.  _ Dirty, dirty, used, unclean, dirty. _

He had always been _ pretty _ , or so he had been told. Flawless facial features, long hair, the softest skin, pink lips to match the halo that hung so delicately above his head. He was only 13 the first time the world decided he was pretty enough to  ~~ take ~~ break.

His mother passed out in the other room while he was left with her newest boyfriend and his wandering hands. It wouldn’t be the first, and wouldn’t be the last. He always felt like he just let it happen to him, was he supposed to stop it? “Use or be used,” his mother would say as he brushed her hair. She would always sit at the old vanity, a shade of red as bright as cherries coated the fake nails she wore.

His life was a sea of hot pinks and ruby reds, crullers in dyed blonde hair and lipstick that hurt his eyes to look at. He could have passed for a doll, was a doll his mother enjoyed to dress up and parade around, he felt like an accessory more than a son. He was 12 when his father decided to stay gone, passing the only wisdom he knew along to his only child. “Love is a facade kid, a trap, stick em and leave em.” His father always the poet, cigarettes and big breasted woman were all that came to his mind when he tried to remember the man.

Vanity, greed, jealousy, self-destruction, he’d pray at night that they weren’t hereditary as he already felt the hooks sinking into his skin. Pretty boy, his mind already felt heavy, his family traits infecting him like a virus. _ If he wasn’t pretty then he’s nothing, no one will want him. If they touch him it just means they want him, which means he’s pretty right? And if he’s pretty then they want him right? And if they want him then he’d be okay, right? _

Again and again, the cycle continued, somewhere inside years, somewhere inside wall after wall he’s screaming. The pretty 13-year-old sitting on the faded pink couch, hands on his body as his eyes are shut tight is screaming. “Why didn’t you say something? Why didn’t you help me?” Maybe if he said something back then, things could be different now, maybe.

“ _ Say something!”  _

_ ~ _

_ “ _ Hannie, we need to say something, tell someone what happened to you,” Mingyu was still shaking, better than he was a few minutes ago but still cowering as they sat in the alleyway.

“No it’s fine, barely anything happened. We can’t tell anyone, okay.” He spoke softly trying to comfort him, his arms wrapped tightly around himself

“What do you mean? Cheol and Hoon are gonna ask us, and they  _ touched _ you they  _ hurt _ you! They deserve to die for that!” Mingyu spat and Jeonghan flinched at the anger in his eyes. 

“Listen to me, I need you to calm down okay, getting angry won’t solve anything alright. We’re gonna tell Cheol and Hoon it was a bad service, that they beat you up and we got away and that’s that okay.” He needed Mingyu to understand, he needed someone to understand. 

“No Hannie I-“

“ _ Please,  _ Gyu please, j-just please drop it for me okay?” His voice was so hollow as he begged.   
  


A wave of warmth crashed over him as Mingyu threw himself at the blonde wrapping his arms around him, “Okay...I won’t tell anyone,” he was held tighter than he ever had before. 

Jeonghan let himself be held as he buried his face in Mingyu's neck. His mind was a battlefield, he tried to ignore the soreness, the feeling of phantom hands touching his body, he had to force himself to differentiate Mingyu’s soft breathing from the harsh panting that plagued his mind. He wanted, _ needed  _ to be held, to feel grounded to something other than his shaky legs, but his mind was screaming and once his skin started to hurt from the prickling sensation he pulled away abruptly.

“Oh my gosh, Han I’m so sorry, you probably don’t want to be touched right now.” Jeonghan could of cried, honestly. Maybe it was because he had never told anyone else, so no one could understand, but the softness in Mingyu’s eyes was something he never experienced before.

He smiled, well tried to as he felt the sides of his cheeks twitch upward, “Thank you Gyu,” he sounded so small in his head, he hated that, “So we can keep this between us right?”

Mingyu nodded trying his best to match the smile Jeonghan was struggling to wear. The two slowly got up, Mingyu pulled his own hand back when he went to grab his, and Jeonghan silently thanked him. He’s been down this road before, hell he practically had a house on it, a very lived in one with a white picket fence. He’s use to this, as soon as he gets up the new wall and slaps some fresh paint on it, he will be back to his old self, he just needs time.  _ I’ll be okay. _

                                            _________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Well that was a massive waste of time Joshua thought to himself as he shuffled along, how his sister could turn absolutely nothing into everything was still a complete mystery to him. In retrospect he should of saw this coming, probably didn’t need to give up his client for hours of consoling his crying sister over some boy. Oh well that’s a few hundreds he won’t get back, but it was his baby sister and honestly Josh would do anything for her.

He kicked a stone as he walked down the sidewalk, the neon signs casting lights in all different colors. The sound of the city drowning out his thoughts, warm bodies of strangers occasionally brushing past him helping fight off some of the cold. The walk back to the ‘whore house’ wasn’t too bad, he liked to let himself get lost in the crowd, in the motion of shuffling along.

He reached the house a few blocks later, shoving his hand in his jacket digging out his keys. It was nearing 3 am so he was surprised not to hear any bickering coming from down the hall, being used to his housemates always up at ungodly hours, but yelling was one thing he was surprised to hear. He quickly began to miss the familiar sound of Seungkwan insulting Soonyoung, only for Chan to come in and knock them all out with a cocky remark, as he walked into the sight in front of him.  

Mingyu was covered in gashes and bruises as Seokmin was working gently to fix him up, Wonwoo right there beside Mingyu looking like he was going to kill someone. Hansol was rubbing Seungkwan’s back holding the strawberry blonde close, whispering soothing things in his ear. Chan was in the corner silently watching with his arms crossed over his small chest. Soonyoung was buzzing next to his boyfriend, as he handed Seokmin various medical supplies when asked. Seungcheol and Jihoon were the ones shouting, Josh had just walked in so he couldn’t entirely tell what they were yelling about, but it didn’t sound like they were fighting.

It was Jeonghan that made his stomach drop, as the blonde stood quietly in the kitchen. He was hovering close to Mingyu but not touching the other as his arms were wrapped around himself tightly, eyes cast down on his shoes. His hair was sticking out messily in every direction and a  small red cut sat across his cheek.

“What happened?” Josh asked looking around at everyone.

Seungcheol and Jihoon stopped yelling looking over at Josh, as Seokmin continued to work unfazed. “Gyu and Hannie had a bad service,” Soonyoung said quietly as he fidgeted with the gauze in his hands.

“Bad service? What does that mean, their clients were bad?”

“They were people from Mingyu’s past, apparently him and Jeonghan pulled a scam awhile back on their client, he found out they were hookers and hired them just so they could beat up Mingyu and Jeonghan. It’s my fault I should have been more through, did more research,” Jihoon grits his teeth as he clenches his fists.

“Hoon it wasn’t your fault you had no way of knowing, they lied about who they were, and if it’s anyone's fault it’s both of our fault’s you’re not the only one responsible,” Seungcheol tried to confront the other.

“That's awful, did you call the police or something, what did they look like do we have their contact information still?” Josh asked, urgency ringing in his worried voice.

“Are you stupid we can’t call the cops, we’re prostitutes. What Gyu and Hannie we’re doing wasn’t exactly legal they’d both go to jail.” Seungkwan sighed, not meaning to sound as bitter as he did the stress and worry clearly getting to him, Hansol kissed his cheek holding him closer.

“Oh…,” Josh felt the weight of the situation in full now as he watched the faces around him. It really makes you feel like an object, the reality that anything could happen to them, they were just prostitutes after all.  _ Things to be bought and used _ , “But… that can’t be fair?”

“Life isn’t fair,” Wonwoo said blankly, still looking like he could strangle a man, Josh worried he actually might.

Mingyu reached out and grabbed Wonwoo’s hand rubbing his thumb over the back of it, trying to calm the dark haired boy down, “Won I’m okay, we both are.” Mingyu looks back at Jeonghan who gives him a nod and small smile.

The whole situation is awful, it sat in Josh’s stomach like a rock making him feel heavy. Seokmin finished Mingyu up and Wonwoo wasted no time gently pulled him into a hug when he noticed the taller almost dozing off while getting stitched up. Josh quietly observed Seungcheol make his way to Jeonghan pulling the blonde to the other side of the kitchen, he swore he saw Jeonghan flinch at the touch but Josh wrapped it away as nothing seeing Jeonghan relax and lean into Seungcheol as the two whispered quietly.

He waited a few minutes as he watched the others, Jeonghan and Mingyu we’re being doted on by the other housemates, he wanted to give them time, sometimes still feeling like an outsider, a guest staying with a family that wasn't his. “Are you guys okay?” It was a dumb question, of course they weren’t okay but he didn’t know what to say, he just wanted to show he cared because he  _ really _ did.

Jeonghan’s cheeks rose into the smile he loved, it wasn’t as bright as it normally was but anything Jeonghan did looked beautiful. “Shua don't worry me and Gyu have been through a lot worst, just a bad day we will be okay by tomorrow.”

“I’m so sorry this happened I swear i’ll do better,” Jihoon said quietly as he looked down at his hands, his voice was small.

“Please don’t apologize there’s no way you could of know it’s no one's fault, shit happens. If anything I fucked up running a shitty scam, and pulling Hannie into it.” Mingyu gave Jihoon a small smile as he lifted away from Wonwoo slightly before returning to the warmth of the other.

“You and Gyu should go get some rest, and take a few days off to recover. I think everyone should go get some rest.” Seungcheol said to the others, his dad voice coming out full of concern. 

“Has anyone heard from Minghao?” Mingyu asked his voice slightly muffled by Wonwoo’s shirt due to his face being pressed against it. 

“Yeah Hao is at his service, he should be back soon he left almost an hour ago,” Seungkwan said. 

“Wait, if Hao is at his service where is Jun?”  Chan asked looking around to all the others. 

Josh felt worry creep into his stomach, his service was hours ago there's no reason Jun shouldn’t be home by now. “He might just be up in his room?” 

“No Jun doesn’t like being alone, especially at night. Are you sure he didn’t go with Hao and maybe he is just waiting with him?” Wonwoo asked. 

“I saw him leave he was by himself,” Seungkwan said a worried frown on his face, “I mean I can go check but Solie, Channie and I have been home for awhile now and we haven’t seen him, it’s not like Junbug to be off by himself if any of us are home.” 

_ Shit,shit,shit,shit.  _ It happened before he could stop himself, a pretty string of lies spilling from his mouth, “Oh yeah, sorry I totally forgot with everything that's going on. Jun did go with me to my service he waited for me. He just got a phone call on our way inside. We we’re actually on our way out to get something to eat, but we wanted to stop by and grab Hansol first.” This was good, they went out sometimes with one another to get food afterwards, it was normal they wouldn’t suspect anything.

“So Jun is with you, he’s outside?” Wonwoo asks, but is overshadowed by Seungkwan chiming in. 

“What do you want with my Solie ?” 

“We’re just gonna get some food, and Jun and I are helping him plan something, remember Hansol….?”  It was one of the cheapest tricks in the books, it’s called blank lying, you bull shit something and let your victims fill in the blanks. 

He almost panicked when Hansol met his expression with a confused one, luckily for Josh, the others boyfriend was on the right page, “Oooh, are you planning something for our anniversary!” maybe not so lucky for Hansol, from his expression the poor honey-haired boy had forgotten all about the special date.  

“It’s a secret,” Josh cut in before Hansol gave him away and ruined the whole thing, he grabbed the younger by the arm and pulled him towards the door, “We gotta get going, Jun’s probably waiting, we will see you guys later, feel better Gyu and Hannie.”  With that, the two american speakers were out the door and into the cold night. 

“Shit I totally forgot about our anniversary fuck, I owe you and Jun, wait where is Jun?” 

“Oh my god,” Josh rolled his eyes as he kept his grip on Hansol’s wrist, ushering them further from the house and out of sight. “Sol use the brain in that pretty head of yours, Jun and I have never talked to you about your anniversary, I lied because I needed your help.” 

“Oooh, so my anniversary isn’t coming up?” Hansol asked nodding his head a little too much. 

“What no,” Josh sighs rubbing his face, “Your anniversary is coming up, I lied, not Seungkwan that was just luck, so you probably should think of something for that but not right now I need your help!” 

“Shit so my anniversary is coming, how the hell did I forget, God what am I gonna get him.” Hansol started to mumble, mostly to himself. 

“Hansol! Focus please!” Josh interrupted the youngers private conversation with himself.

“Sorry, sorry just Seungkwan is scary when he’s mad. Okay, what do you need my help with? Why are we lying, where is Jun?”

“That’s the problem I don’t know where he is, he covered a service for me today and he should of been done and home like hours ago, and I’m worried and I panicked and I dragged you into this mess as well.” 

“Please tell me you’re joking,” Hansol sighed when Josh shook his head, “Jesus Josh that's like Seungcheol and Jihoon’s number one rule, and it was Jun? That's bad, it’s really really bad.” Hansol shook his head as he ran his hands through his hair. 

“Woah woah, calm down it’s not that bad right? Jun said it was fine, what’s the big deal he just covered for me once?” The tone and the look on Hansol’s face made Josh’s stomach do flips. 

“You don’t get it dude, Cheol has that rule specifically for Jun, I don’t know all the details just what I’ve heard from Seungkwan, but Jun’s only allowed like 2-3 clients a week tops and their like specifically vanilla clients, he has a hard time separating love and sex. Which is due to him having a horrible childhood that left him starved of affection and fucked him up severely, plus he falls into subspace so easily, because he just craves attention and wants to please people because he thinks that will make them love him,” Hansol rambles again pacing back and forth. 

“What in english please?!” Josh sighs exaggeratingly cutting Hansol off when he starts to repeat what he just said in English, to be fair Josh did ask him that. “No, subspace? What does that mean?” 

“Like sub dom stuff ya know? God, how are you even a prostitute?” 

“We’re not getting into this again, we need to find Jun, can’t you like track him or something with your tech stuff?” Josh asks as he gestures to the air trying to get some kind of point across.

Hansol sighs deeply, already on his phone typing away, “This is a horrible idea, we need to tell Cheol or even Hao or something- here, he’s at some … club.” 

“We’re not telling anyone, I don’t want to lose this job, come on let’s just go get him i’m sure everything will be fine, fill me in on his childhood on the way there.” Josh said dragging the honey-haired boy out from the alleyway and onto the sidewalk. 

Their pace was pretty brutal as Hansol spilled what he knew about Wen Junhui, “I could be wrong, Seungkwan likes to talks about others when we’re in bed and it’s so hard not to fall asleep, but from what I can remember Jun’s mom died giving birth to him. His father hated him, like the dude actually blamed him for killing his mother and treated him like some kind of criminal. He never showed Jun any love or affection ever, he even got remarried and had two other kids, and the fucked up part was that he would like smother his new kids in love and attention. At 17 his dad kicked him out saying that he was making his new family unhappy, he gave Jun barely enough to last a week on.”

Josh frowned listening to Hansol continue, slightly out of breath from trekking almost halfway across the city,  _ why didn’t they get a cab? _  “Jun being young and never experiencing any kind of love or affection got dragged into some messy shit the first time some old dick on the street called him pretty. It wasn’t Jun’s fault he didn’t know any better but he got stuck in a brothel type situation, not one of the legal ones, but the bad like kidnap, blackmail and abuse their prostitutes kind of brothel. The details are dark but to make a sad story short Seungcheol was the one who found Jun and got him out of there, and that’s why I am saying this is bad, neither you nor I know enough of Jun’s history to be able to help him properly!”

“Let’s just try okay, maybe it’s not as bad as we think come on, it’s right there!” Josh dragged a reluctant Hansol the last block to building covered in blue neon lights, almost booming with sound from inside. He didn’t notice Hansol rapidly texting on his phone with his free hand, while he tried to enter the club only to be stopped by some bald buff guy in a cheap suit.

“ID, Cover fee,” The bouncer coughed in a deep voice as he held his hand out towards the two. 

“Shit,” He could tell by the look on Hansol’s face the younger came out without a wallet either. He knew the whole ‘we left our wallets and our friend is in trouble’ bit probably wouldn’t work on Mr.clean over here, but he had to try something. His head was clouded, his sister, Mingyu and Jeonghan, and now a fresh wave of guilt and Jun to fill his already crowded head. Coming up with any kind of lie, good or bad just seemed too hard at this point. So this time he tired the truth, “We don’t have our wallets on us, I know how it sounds but our friend is really in there and he is in trouble so we really need to get in, even if you just let one of us in-.”

“Fuck off,” Mr.clean didn’t even give them a second look as he pushed them away to let the next people in line move up.

“Come on ass!” Josh sighs getting pushed away from the door by the small crowd, Hansol getting shuffled into him. “This is why you don’t tell the truth!” 

“Hey Shua, don’t worry,” Hansol said placing a hand on his shoulders.

“How can you say that after you spent the last 30 minutes yelling about how bad this is-” Josh was interrupted by Hansol’s phone lighting up with a message, “No, Sol you didn’t, say you didn’t!” 

“I had to! Shua, this is Junnie’s well being on the line, I don’t think you’re gonna get fired. Also, I texted Minghao, not Cheol so it won’t be that bad, I’m sure he won’t tell the others.” 

Josh barely had time to be mad at Hansol before he felt himself being shoved against the wall. “You better start praying to that God you like to talk about real fast,” Minghao hissed through gritted teeth. 

“Woah woah! How the hell did you get here so fast?!” Hansol asked shocked. 

“I have my ways,” Minghao slams Josh harder on the wall, his hand pressing into his neck.

“Do you ever get tired of being all mysterious and aloof?” 

“Oh that’s a big word, did Wonu teach you that,”

“Can..’t ….bre..ath... ,” Josh choked out, smacking Minghao’s hand around his throat at some feeble attempt to free his airways. 

“Oh right, Hao let him go! Josh didn’t know, it’s not his fault” Hansol pulled him off of Josh.

“What the hell! You could of killed me!” Josh yelled panting, rubbing his neck where the others hands just were. 

“That was the point, for your health Junhui better be okay,” Minghao glared at Josh before ripping away from Hansol and walking over to the entrance of the club. The two watched in awe as Minghao walked right up to the bouncer, the bald man's hand was only on Minghao’s shoulder for a second, before the Chinese boy knocked him unconscious with one swift motion to his neck. He hit the ground with a thud as Minghao proceeded to walk over him and into the building as if nothing happened. A crowd of happy people following behind now they don’t have to pay. 

“Shit Seungkwan wasn’t kidding,” Josh frowned rubbing his neck, already worrying for his life, praying to God that Jun was okay.

 

                                         _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_ “I’m hungry, there’s no food in the house,” The thin 15-year-old sighed, as he stood in the doorway of his mother's room.  The stale smell of hairspray and smoke making his nose tickle and the back of his throat itch.  _

_ “Bullshit, I went shopping the other day,” The reply was curt as his mother continued to apply her makeup, her parenting skills were shit but Jeonghan was always impressed by how she was able to apply eyeliner while carefully balancing a cigarette between her fingers. _

_ “All you bought was wine and a new box of cigarettes,” Jeonghan watched the perfect black line curve across his mother’s eyelid, standing out against the shimmery red powder. He shifted on his feet, his stomach feeling uncomfortable and empty. _

_ “So there you go then, stuff in the house,  drink, have a smoke, all your little annoying  problems will feel far away, then maybe you won’t bother me with them.” _

_ “I don’t think me being hungry is considered an ‘annoying problem’, plus I’m 15, I can’t smoke or drink,” Jeonghan rolled his eyes, not hiding the irritation in his voice for a second. _

_ “Says who, I’m your mother, besides you're already so pretty food would only make you fat. Okay love, I need to go come zip me up,” He obeyed liked he always did, her words swimming around his head and rooting themselves inside, much to his unhappiness. _

_ “It’s almost one am, do you really have to go out now?” He knew the answer, it was a stupid question, he asked anyway, maybe just to keep the conversation going, preparing for when he was alone in the empty apartment again. _

_ “Do you like nice things?, Don’t ask stupid questions Hannie, it’s not a good trait, you want people to like you right? Work on keeping that pretty mouth shut.”  He hated when she said that, like she was running around with rich men for his benefit, Jeonghan knew his mother loved the attention they would give her, the expensive gifts and weekend getaways, she would just use him to justify being a ‘gold digger.’ _

_ His mother turned around, her hair brushing the tips of his cheeks. He almost felt suffocated at the scent of perfume filling his nose as she leaned in and kissed him on the head. “I’ll be home later, love you Hannie,” Jeonghan knew later could mean anywhere from a few hours to a few days, his stomach growled louder as he watched her leave the apartment. He shuffled into the small pink kitchen, like most of the things in their apartment. His bare feet padding on the cold tile as he poured himself some wine, one thing his mother was right about, his problems did go away, if only for a little. _

_ ~ _

Deep breath as a shaky hand knocked on the door, he waited, one heartbeat, two. The door opened with a small squeak as a tired Soonyoung appeared rubbing his eyes. “Hannie, are you okay?” 

He nods before remembering he needs to use his voice, “I‘m sorry I know it’s late, I just need...could you... do you have any?” He struggled to get the words out as they fought each other for a spot in his brain. Guilt bit at his insides, Soonyoung had a problem they all knew, Jeonghan shouldn’t be encouraging him,  _ god he was so selfish.  _

“Of course, don’t worry stay here,” Jeonghan sucked a sharp breath in as he watched the younger disappear back into his room. Less than a minute he came back out, he handed Jeonghan a small container with some pills. Sooyoung's typical mix, Jeonghan never asked what they all were. He knew it was nothing too extreme some high dose painkillers and stimulants, just enough to let the world around him seem further away, to make his problems go away for a little while.

“’m sorry, for bothering you so late, thank you.” He managed to stumble out, rubbing his thumb over the lid of the small container, over and over.

“Hey hey don’t apologize, it was a rough day, I can’t even imagine. Just let me know if you need more okay, don’t worry Han it’ll be okay.” Soonyoung pulled the blonde into a gentle hug, it was from love but it made his skin burn, fire burning all the way down to his toes.

He nodded managing to wiggle out of the hug with no suspension drawn to himself, he gave Soonyoung a soft smile as he retreated back to his room. He detoured stopping outside of Mingyu's door, he wanted to knock. Not having that connection, someone who knew, even if it was only a small part, but Mingyu was tired and sore, plus Wonwoo followed him to bed and there’s no doubt in his mind that Wonwoo was currently holding onto Mingyu tightly. 

Seungcheol and his warm bed crossed his mind for the tiniest moment before he shoved the thought into a box and buried it deep down. It was just sex, why complicate things with something as dumb as this,  _ idiot.  _

  
He locked his door behind him, body releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding as he sunk into the covers of his bed. One, two pills in and he shut his eyes trying to stop his brain from thinking thoughts he wanted to forget, eyes from showing him images he didn’t want to see when he closed them. It wasn’t wine and he wasn’t 15, but his mother's words were still true.  _ They will go away, if just for a little while.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhhhh boy, I hope this isn't too messy for everyone, tho I said in my tags this story is all over the place! But we're past one of the first little baby arches so now things get messier until they reach the first big arch! So just be prepared for like one bad thing after the other to happen because I thoroughly enjoy making my babies suffer. So like every character in this story has flaws and traits, and a majority of them are super self-destructive and i'm trying to slowly show each side of some characters, i'm always so worried i'm not doing the best job, but oh well I have so much more in store for this story and I'm so sorry for slow updates, I've just been busy and I'm constantly re-reading and editing to hope it makes some sense, but I'm gonna try to get on a good schedule! and post a lot quicker! Okay as always thanks for all the kudos and love, follow my IG @Strawbhannie for fic updates and everyday SVT updates! and come yell at me about my fics, or seventeen, or me updating, I don't bite <3


	8. Mad World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oH BOy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long update god i'm always apologizing yikees also i figured out how to fix my AO3 I'm an idiot and we're not gonna talk about it

It was hot and crowded and Minghao had to fight the urge to attack the next person covered in glitter who tried to grind against him, he gritted his teeth pushing his way deeper into the neon-covered hell hole, eyes scanning face after face. 

The memory floating around his brain wasn’t his favorite, Junhui laying on the floor in a crumpled state, eyes dazed over tears spilling down his pretty cheeks as he begged for someone to touch him, fuck him, just so he could feel he was loved, tho he was already so loved. Minghao didn’t feel much, never felt sorry for himself or others, didn’t think the world deserved that kindness seeing how dark it could truly be, but for some reason, he felt his heart ache for the other Chinese boy as he cried on the bathroom floor hands shaking violently.

He knew enough from Seungcheol, knew about Jun’s horrible father and the way he was raised. It made Minghao shake with anger, there wasn’t a lot of good things left in this fucked up world, but Wen Junhui was one of them, and it made him see the color red knowing someone could hurt him so deeply. Angry, yes, surprised, no, the world did that to beautiful things, swallowed them and spit them out broken and dirty.

He took deep breaths to try and calm his heart that seemed to be beating out of control in his chest, he hated the feeling of uncertainty, needed to know where Jun was, know if he was okay. Gratefulness grew like a wildfire in his chest, only to be burned out by fear when he saw the older boy being dragged to the back corner, walking on his own two feet barley, as he trips and stumbles, head hanging low

Minghao’s feet moved on their own making his way through the crowd, “Junhui!” He kept losing him, too many people blocking him from where he needed to be. Glimpses of Jun being dragged onto a lap, hands through his hair, mouth on his neck. He’s so close now, he can see Jun’s head tilted back, eyes dazed over. “Junhui! Jun, are you okay?” Minghao’s hands reach him first, fingers running over heated skin and shaking arms.

“What the hell do you think your doing, this one’s mine!” The voice came from a man a head taller then Minghao, he was covered in tattoos some that he even recognized. Part of him knew this guy was probably trouble if the gang tattoos didn’t tell him, the gun he saw poorly concealed in the waistline of his jeans triggered all the red flag. He didn’t care his mind was only thinking about Jun, Jun, Jun, Jun, like a mantra.

“Hey, Jun can you hear me, do you know where you are? I need you to look at me,” He ignored the man as he held Jun’s face in his hands, pulling the other Chinese boy into his embrace. Jun managed to look up at Minghao, his eyes were hazed over more than he had ever seen them before, and his breath was strong with alcohol, mixed with something else.

“I said what the hell are you do-”

“Did you give him something?” Minghao’s voice was a knife as he finally looked up the other man, hate seeping through his body.

“Of course, he was almost there we just wanted to help him relax a little, take him the rest of the way you know.” He smirked at Minghao and his mind was made up then and there. He hated people, they used others and took what they want, didn’t care about anyone else or anything. With one smooth motion, he pulled Jun into his side and punched the man right in the throat knocking that disgusting smile from his face.

“Don’t ever lay your fingers on him again you pig,” He felt Jun’s legs give out, whatever they had given him was slowly taking over. He reacted quickly sliding his arms under Jun's knees and holding him close to his chest.

“Hao,” Junhui's voice was barely a whisper as he spoke into Minghao’s hoodie.

“Yeah, it’s me, I’m here it’s okay, I’m gonna get you home,” Minghao heard the pull, the click of a gun and barely had enough time to turn around before the first shot was fired, it took a minute for the music to come to stop as people started screaming and running in every direction,  _ What kind of fucking idiot fires a gun in a club?! _

“Get back here bitch! That sluts mine!” Another shot fired, Jun jumped so hard in his arms Minghao almost dropped him. The dickhead was persistent, pushing through the crowd after them as he cocked his gun to take another shot.

“Junnie I need you to walk, can you walk?” It was chaos, but he was able to see Jun nod through the mess. He gently placed him on the ground, his hand staying on his arm for support, “Hansol and Josh are outside, go to them I’ll be right there okay,” he couldn’t wait for a nod this time, giving his arm a small reassuring squeeze before he let go.  

Minghao let Jun get a small distance away before he stopped walking and turned towards the gunmen, rolling his eyes. A closer look let him see why he was missing so many shots, the moron was wasted, practically tripping over his own two feet while swinging a loaded gun around. “Hey dick head, why don’t you put that thing down before you actually hurt someone.”

“What did you just say to me, you’re more of a little bitch than I thought you were. Taking my slut away from me, and now trying to tell me what do! Do you know who I am?!” His words were slurred as he aimed, wiggling the gun around in Minghao’s face.

“Ah so annoying,” Minghao sighed rubbing his temples.

“What did you just- do you want me to blow your fucking brains out kid!” The man pressed the gun into the side of Minghao’s head, pushing harder than necessary, but he didn’t lose his ground.

He looked up at the man, a small smirk on his lips, “Yeah I know who you are, I had to put up with people like you my whole life. You just take what you want with no regard for anyone or anything around you, the world is full of filth like you.” He moved fast although the man was too wasted to really call this a fair fight, Minghao didn’t care.

One quick upward motion and the gun was pointing towards the ceiling, another move of his knee into the man's crotch and the gun was in his hands, he laughed as he cocked it, something hollow and twisted, “Not anymore.”

His mind was split in two, always was when he went into this state, logic, and madness fighting each other. He was caught in the screams and chaos around him, the sirens getting lost in the background noise along with every other warning sign he should have noticed. His hand didn’t shake as he held the weapon inches from the man's face, he looked him right in the eyes and felt nothing, well maybe satisfaction, joy might be a little too strong but he was around that area.

“Hao! Hey, what are you doing! Cops are coming, it’s not worth it we gotta go!” He heard Hansol yell,  _ when did he get inside?  _ He felt the younger pull at his arm, he couldn’t rip his eyes away from the man bent over on his knees, finger buzzing on the trigger, aching to make him,  _ anyone _ pay for what they’ve done.

“ _ Please, _ Hao come on we can’t get caught by cops you know that! Junhui needs your help, Josh and I can’t do this alone!”

_ No, it’s not fair, why do they get to live. Take what they want and get to live, hurt people and get to live, it’s not fucking fair _

“Listen to your friend kid! We’re all gonna get caught!” The man yelled crouched on his knees looking up at him past the gun slowly.

_Let him go_

_ “ _ Hao _ please!” _

_ No, it’s not fair. _

“Hey drop your weapon!” He was out of time, it almost happened in slow motion, the sound of a gun firing, body hitting the floor, policemen pulling out their guns, Hansol yelling beside him.

“What did you do!? Fuck fuck we have to go now!” Hansol yelled shoving him with all his might, his feet finally waking up, stumbling over himself as he followed the younger closely through the chaotic crowd, he silently thanked all the glittered covered morons who were now too off their mind on whatever to evacuate the building, which gave the two easy coverage to make it outside.

Gunshots were being fired, screams and shouts filled the air as they pushed their way outside. Minghao starting to come back to his senses pulls his hoodie over his head, looking at Hansol who quickly followed suit. He searched the crowd once they were outside seeing Josh holding onto a slumped over Jun, he pulled Hansol towards them, sirens and cop cars all around them, paramedics trying to get in to help.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck,” Hansol mumbled his hand shaking furiously.

“What the hell is going on?! Is that blood on you guys?!” Josh asked looking at the two.

“Shut up, everything’s gonna be fine, here give me Jun,” Minghao turned around, Josh helping him secure him on his back. Minghao didn’t have the time he wanted to inspect Jun, he remembers seeing some bruises, but the soft moans leaving the tallers lips will have to due as enough reassurance for now.  

“There they are!” A loud voice boomed from the crowd as two cops started to head for them, already giving a brief description of Hansol and himself and stating they needed backpack into their communicators.

“Fuck! Keep your heads down and follow me!” Minghao took off, not looking back to even make sure Josh and Hansol were following, he held Jun tightly the gun still in his hands.

They ran through alleyways, across streets into oncoming traffic, ignoring the honks and curses they received, he only knew the other two were following him once he heard Josh whine, “Why can’t we use a cab!!!”

“Cabs are trackable, not to mention the cameras in them and traffic cams!” Hansol pants trying to keep up.

“Why can’t we show our faces we didn’t do anything!” Josh yelled before a cop car stopped at the end of the alley they were in.

“Fuck everyone shut up!” Minghao hissed as he ducked down behind a dumpster, he holds his breath feeling Junhui slump against him. Hansol and Joshua crouch down across from him, as the four sat dead quiet watching the cop car sit idly, Minghao held the gun facing towards the car, ignoring the looks from Hansol.  

“Hao, put it away he’s just doing his job!” Hansol whispered.

He ignored the youngers request,  _ you’ll thank me when you’re not in jail.  _ A few moments passed of nothing but the sound of the city, eventually, the car left leaving the four boys alone in the alleyway.

It came out as bubbles, shaking his whole body as he dropped his head, the laughter filling the tense air around them. It was adrenaline and fear mixed with something else he couldn’t quite understand.

“What the fuck is your problem!” Hansol yelled as he stood from his spot.

“Can someone please explain to me what the fuck is going on! Why are you two covered in blood? Why are cops chasing us? Is Jun okay!?” Josh asked almost hysterically at this point as Minghao just couldn’t stop the laughter spilling from his throat.

“Minghao! What the hell did you get us into!” Hansol yelled his voice breaking at the end.

“Relax it’s not like this is the first time Solie,” Minghao waved off his concerns like it was nothing, he didn’t have the time to make sure Jun was alright, his breath hitched as he felt himself being dragged to his feet and a few steps away from Joshua’s range of hearing, .

"You know full well this wasn’t the same thing! It’s nothing like what we’ve done before there wasn’t a plan or shit you just shot a man in front of fucking cops, you absolute sociopath!” Hansol’s hands were shaking hard,”Fuck Hao they saw our faces! We’re on the fucking video cameras! Jesus and you have the gun what the fuck did you do!” His voice broke as he tried to keep it low, his hands tugging at the end of his hair roughly, as tears threatened to come from his eyes.

Minghao rarely felt much and then sometimes he felt all at once. The younger boy was scared and it was his fault, “Okay Sol breathe, look we’re gonna be fine it was dark, you can go hack the cameras delete the footage or something right? Then we will just lay low okay.” Minghao spoke softly as he placed a hand on either one of his shoulders.

“It’s not that fucking easy Hao! I have to-”

“Well you better figure it out or we’re going to jail along with everyone else! Is that what you want!” All the softness already leaving his voice as he watched Hansol shake his head, “Good, look we will be fine we'll just keep this between us, Jun won’t speak, and we will just keep Josh in the dark and this will go away okay, just do you part alright,” He patted Hansol’s cheek before walking back over to Josh who was crouched down looking over Jun.

He didn’t notice Hansol pull at his hair once more before joining the other three, quietly mumbling to himself that it would be okay. Minghao carried Jun the rest of the way home, the four staying in shadows and corners until they reached the old townhouse.

“Can someone please tell me what the hell is happening?” Josh asked, exhaustion and desperation dripping in his voice as they reached the steps of their front door.

“Look Jesus boy anything that happened tonight is between us, which means I keep your secret about Jun seeing that this is all your fault,” Josh deflated looking over at Jun, draped over Minghao covered in small bruises, body shaking from Josh hoped the cold and prayed it wasn’t something worse. “And you keep mine and we won’t have any problems, now go straight to your room, say you prayers or whatever and when you wake up everything will be back to normal.”

Josh nodded, accepting he wasn’t going to get any real answers, he gave Hansol an almost apologetic look before he ran inside leaving the three alone. Minghao looked over at Hansol, the poor boy looked like he could break if the wind blew the wrong way, “Look I know it’s not like how we normally do it, but same rules apply okay, take a shower, get rid of your clothes, make your alibi and most importantly get rid of that footage, do your part kid, we’ll be fine.” ____________________________________________________________

Mingyu was tall, Wonwoo always liked that about him, always held his head high, never shrunk down to please others, sometimes he would curl up on himself, but never like this, Wonwoo hated this.

Mingyu never looked so small before, curled up tight under the sheets, gashes, and cuts spread across his tan skin. He was stirring in his sleep, eyebrows together in worry, mouth turned into a frown as he mumbled softly. Wonwoo had never seen Mingyu like this, yeah the taller had been beaten up plenty of times before, he’s a con artist and people don’t enjoy being scammed out of- well anything, but he’d never been like this after a fight before, it made worry sit in Wonwoo’s chest like a brick.

Mingyu would usually be sore, that’s a given. Sometimes he would get depressed, he always felt like shit when he had to see the damage his scamming did see the toll he took on someone else’s life, but everyone has to get by somehow. Even in his lowest, it had never been this bad, something was wrong, there was something Mingyu wasn’t telling.

“Hey it’s okay,” he moved the hair from Mingyu’s face when the taller started to toss in his sleep, “You were having a bad dream, you’re okay.”  Mingyu’s eyes fluttered open blinking away the sleep, he winced when he sat up too quickly, Wonwoo’s hand already there to help lay him back down, “Shh it’s fine you need to rest.”

“S-sorry,” Mingyu spoke quietly, looking off in the distance like he had just remembered something, he frowned a little as he hid face deeper into the blankets.

“Gyu, what's wrong ? You know you can always tell me anything,” no answer as the taller hid more into the blankets, for a con artist and a natural born liar Wonwoo always loved how Mingyu could never lie to him, it always made him feel closer to Mingyu that they could always be real around each other, even if their true selves were terrible and broken.

“Come on it’s me, please I can’t help if I don’t know what's wrong,” he tried again, pushing the blankets down so he could see Mingyu’s face as he laid beside him, head propped up on his hand.

“You can’t help anyways….,” it was muffled by the pillow and the fact that Mingyu was talking quietly.

“What is it? You're worrying me this isn’t like you,”

“I’m fine, of course, I’m the one who’s fine, it was my fault like always but I’m the one who is fine. I’m the one who destroyed someone’s life, put someone else in danger, I’m the reason he got hurt, if I wasn’t such a fuck up-” Mingyu covered his face with his hands pressing into his skin roughly, nails starting to dig into the flesh.

“Hey hey,” he eased Mingyu’s hand’s away from his face, “Who? Who got hurt the guy? Jeonghan? Is this about Jeonghan?” It was almost as a door he’d been trying to pry open finally flew off the hinges as warm streams of tears ran down Mingyu’s cheeks.

“They touched him Won, put their hands all over him and I couldn’t do anything about it but watch! Even in the end, Hannie was the one who got us out of there while I just crumpled. It’s my fault he was even involved in the first place because I’m selfish and careless and I lie to people and trick them and for what some money? God, I’m so fucking stupid, so stupid!” Mingyu’s voice broke on the end, choking on sob after sob, as he repeated to hit himself.

“Hey!” Wonwoo grabbed his wrists tightly pulling them away from his face again, rubbing his thumb soothingly across his skin. “I need you to listen to me carefully, you Kim Mingyu are not stupid or a fuck up okay? There were five guys, and it wasn’t your fault, nobody thinks it’s your fault you did everything you could.”

Mingyu broke as Wonwoo pulled him into his arms,“I feel so guilty Won,” Mingyu’s voice was low and dry as he sobbed into Wonwoo’s chest, the front of his shirt growing damp from tears. He let Mingy cry himself out, as he rubbed his back soothingly.

“It’s not your fault, we can tell Seungcheol and Jihoon in the morning and they’ll make it right.”

Wonwoo almost jumped at the intensity of Mingyu’s voice, “No! Wonwoo we can’t, I promised Jeonghan I wouldn’t tell anyone the least I could do is keep his word!”  

“This is serious Gyu, Jeonghan might not know it but he needs our support all of us, we can’t help him if the majority of us don’t know.” Wonwoo pulled away, now looking at a very serious Mingyu staring back at him, tears still staining his cheeks causing him to look even smaller.

“I know that he does need our support, but maybe right now the best thing to do isn’t to tell everyone and make him have to deal with it. We definitely can’t tell Seungcheol, you know how Cheol gets when one of is upset or injured, especially when that person is Jeonghan.” Mingyu pleaded looking at Wonwoo with his puppy dog eyes.

“No you can’t puppy dog me into this, it’s serious this about Jeonghan we can’t just do nothing!”

“I know and we’re not gonna do nothing I promise, look just give me like two days, I’ll check in on him and we can watch him if anything serious happens you can tell Cheol and I won’t stop you swear.”

Wonwoo wasn’t completely sure, he’d rather not have it come to Jeonghan potentially hurting himself, “But why wait till something happens ?,” he tired again using his thumb to wipe the tears from the youngers cheeks, but the look Mingyu gave him he knew he was gonna cave, he’s always weak when it came to Mingyu.

“Please Wonu, this is my fault, the least I could do is keep his trust, please.” Mingyu pouted again, this time taking it a step further burying his head into Wonwoo’s chest. He sighed deeply giving into the youngers antics, internally cursing himself as he wrapped his arms around Mingyu pulling him close, being careful not to hit his wounds.

“One of these days I’ll be able to resist you,”

“Whatever makes you feel better, Wonu~”

 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hansol took the stairs two at a time, still amazed his shaky legs hadn’t dropped him yet. He had deleted as much footage he could from everywhere he could possibly think of, eyes red and burning from staring at his screen.  

It was late, or was it early? Fuck it was probably way into the morning by now, and it was a bad idea, of course it was. Enabling people who have a serious problem is always a bad idea, but at this particular point in time, he couldn’t care as he gently knocked on the door. “Soon?,” he asked quietly running a hand through his hair, as he pressed his face against the door listening for footsteps.

He called out again hearing a moan before the door creaked open and a very tired Soonyoung appeared, “Hansol? This better be fucking important.”

Gratefulness somehow found its way out, trapped behind the fear and anxiety in his gut, as Soonyoung didn’t notice the state he was in, the olders own tiered state keeping him unaware, “Sorry to wake you up, I need to smoke...badly.”

Soonyoung sighs loudly closing the door mumbling something about being busy tonight and the only damn drug dealer in the house before he reappeared with a little baggie, still leaning against the wall, door only slightly ajar, “What happened to the stuff I gave you last week?”

Hansol took the bag from the older trying hard not let his shaking hands show, “I used it all already.”

Soonyoung yawned, “Solie are you okay? I know I look tired but if you need to talk-”

“No no no no no,” Hansol shook his head worrying if he said 'no' one too many times, “I’m fine just a little stressed out promise, I’m sorry to bother you.”

“Just be careful Solie okay~”

Hansol nodded giving the older a smile as he closed the door to return back to bed. Hansol wasted no time flinging himself back down the stairs and out the back door, he walked across the small yard to the basement or he guessed now he thinks about it, it was more of a shed? He pinned in the passcode, flipping the light switch on as he went, he practically ran over to where he remembered seeing some old wraps the last time they had to help Seungcheol with a move.

He pushed clutter away making a space on the stainless steel counters as he laid his wraps out, he silently thanked Soonyoung for his amazing dealer skills when he saw his already perfectly ground weed. He brought the wrap to his tongue wetting it slightly before sprinkling on some of the green buds from the baggie, he rolled it between his fingers until it was a perfect little tube. Quickly swiping off the counter trying not to leave any trace for Seungcheol to find, he headed back into the backyard lighting one end of the blunt before taking a deep slow breath, letting the smoke inhale all the way to his lungs.  He closed his eyes already starting to feel a small amount of his anxiety slip away.

He took deep breaths trying to clear his mind, killing isn’t something new to Hansol, it’s not like this is the first time any of them had done it either, but he was their hacker, never really a part of the hands-on side of things. Part of him understands where Seungcheol put him on their ‘team’ god if he could even call it that. Minghao had shot the man right through the head and Hansol would give anything to get the sight and the sound out of his mind, he takes another long hit of his blunt pacing back and forth, “ _ We’re okay, it’s gonna be fine, it’s gonna be okay _ .”

He continues mumbling to himself as he finishes off the blunt, he stumbles back into the house feeling slightly better? Maybe, when did he get upstairs?  He stands outside their room, no he can’t go in there, Seungkwan is in there, beautiful and sleeping and he’s ugly and dirty. He looks down at his own hands and sees the faint spots of dried blood freckled on his skin. He takes a sharp breath, paranoia sneaking into his calm weed induced bliss.

He almost forgot as he stumbles into the bathroom, maybe pushing open the door harder than he should have. He locks it behind him quickly going to look at his reflection, _fuck why does he look this bad, how does he look this bad?_ He turns on the facet starting to splash water onto his face and scrub off the dried blood, he does the same with his hands scrubbing hard. He doesn’t remember leaving the bathroom, or where his hoodie went? Or why he’s standing outside Joshua's door now knocking quietly, or repeatedly, he should probably stop knocking.

“Hey, Hansol…. Are you okay? Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?” A sleepy Josh asks as he opens the door.

Oh right, he got rid of his hoodie and now he needs to borrow a shirt? “I- can I borrow a shirt?”

Josh frowns already taking the youngers hand and guiding him into his room, “Of course, Solie.” Hansol sits on the bed slowly while Josh goes through his drawers pulling out a clean shirt and helping Hansol put it on, after seeing him just stare at it after Josh placed it in his lap.

“Sol?” Hansol turned to look at Josh, trying his best to focus on the older, his mind felt floaty and sleep was starting to take over. “Why couldn’t you get a shirt from your room?”

“Seungkwan is in there….. I can’t lie to him, he’s so beautiful and kind,” Josh smiles at him, Hansol returns the smile, dropping it slowly when he realizes he doesn’t know why they are smiling in the first place.

“Okay, you can sleep in here with me, come on,” Josh moves the sheets and crawls in patting the spot next to him, Hansol crawls in eyes shutting almost immediately as his head hits the pillow.

“Hao killed a guy,” Hansol whispered into the quiet room, eyes closed so he couldn’t see Joshua’s expression, but he felt the older turn to face him.

“I guessed…”

“We’re gonna be okay tho.”

“I know.”

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Minghao couldn’t get his mind to focus on one thing, too many thoughts were overlapping the other, he couldn’t stop the small frown from spreading across his face as he gently laid Jun on his bed. He needed to look Jun over make sure he was okay but his body wasn’t acting the way he wanted it to. His hand stroked against Jun’s cheek, he noted how small he looked as Jun desperately grabbed onto Minghao’s wrist.

“Hey shh, it’s okay Junnie you’re home now, you’re safe.”

“P-please don’t leave me,” Jun whined eyes fluttering open as he began to press kisses into his wrist.

“I’m not gonna leave you,” he took a step closer to Jun, letting his free hand find his way into Jun’s hair. The other Chinese boy pressed more kisses into the soft skin of Minghao’s wrist moving his way to kiss the top of his hands. Jun began to drag Minghao’s hand down his own chest, “Jun, you don’t have to do that,” he frowned pulling away, looking down at him.

“Come on I can make you feel so good, don’t you want that?” Junhui sat up, words slurred slightly as he started to palm Minghao through his pants, “It’s the only thing I’m good at and I know you like it.”

“Junnie no, stop, I said stop!” Minghao yelled as Jun froze, his face falling as his shoulders slumped down. Usually, Minghao knows how to handle this, knows how to help Jun out of his headspace and remind him he’s loved but the events of the night have him wound up so tightly he snapped. He’s not paying attention to the hazed look in the olders eye, or how his lips are puffy and bruised from the rough kisses he probably received, the hands that left bruises the show right under the collar of his shirt.

Hot tears began pooling at Jun’s eyes and down his cheeks causing Minghao to jump into gear, he watched Jun curl up on himself so tight, sobs shaking his whole body, “I-I’m sorry, I just wanted you to want me, I just wanted someone to want me.”

“Fuck, no don’t cry, shit I’m sorry Junnie don’t cry please, I didn’t mean to yell at you,” Minghao quickly reached for Jun climbing onto the bed and scooping him into his arms, “Please don’t cry, I do want you Junnie, you’re so beautiful you know that right?” Minghao wasn’t soft, wasn’t gentle normally, but when it came to Wen Junhui the boy was a pillow filled with feathers.

Junhui looked up slowly, he was close enough now that Minghao could really see the damage, his soft skin littered in splotches of red and purple as hickeys and bruises lined his neck. He doesn't answer the question, his body more reacts to the praise as a soft whine escapes his throat and he begins to shift in Minghao’s lap, trying to grind down into the other, Jun’s shaky hands rubbing up and down his chest. “Shhh, Junnie you don’t have to do that okay, look I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere you don’t have to do anything, I promise I’m not gonna leave you.”

It’s not helping as Jun whines continuing his assault on Minghao’s crotch, as he rocks himself back and forth on the other. It always worries him when Jun is in this state, it’s so much more than just being in a trance due to overstimulation. Minghao knows how much deeper this lies inside of the other Chinese boy. Years of neglect and being starved for attention has hurt him so deeply. Even with the amount of love and affection everyone in the house showers on him, just one slip, one negative thought that he’s not enough sends him into this spiral, Jun crawls back into himself, somewhere so far away and hard to find, and Minghao worries if this is the time he won’t come back.

“Junnie I need you to focus, can you look at me,” he takes Jun’s face into his hands and rubs his thumb gently over his cheeks, trying to ground Jun and make him focus. He holds him tight stopping him from rocking.

“I’m s-sorry,” Jun looks up at him, his eyes still in that far away place.

“I’m gonna take care of you, it’s okay,” Minghao kisses Jun’s head helping him off the bed, he holds his hand as he leads him to the bathroom on their floor. Minghao turns the faucet on making sure the waters not too hot and putting the plug in the drain. He looks back over at Jun who is leaning against the sink staring at his own reflection. Minghao watches the way Jun notices the bags under his eyes, how he looks at the bruises on his neck. He rubbed at his eyes roughly, as tears began to fall down his cheeks.

“Shh, don’t cry Junnie,” Minghao was there cupping his face and wiping the tears from his eyes, placing soft kisses on his forehead. He slowly pulled Jun’s shirt off kissing every bruise and mark, whispering praises into his soft skin. He made sure to kiss all of him, every part of himself Jun didn’t like, repeating ‘I love you’ like a song until it was stuck in Jun’s head. He helped get him undressed and into the warm bath, sitting beside him on the floor outside the tub.

They sat quietly for a moment, Jun up to his chest in bubbles from all the nice smelling soap Minghao added to the water. “What’s wrong with me Hao….”

Minghao was taken back by the softness of Jun’s voice, “Nothing, absolutely nothing is wrong with you-”

“He didn’t want me, I should have died instead of her, then they would all be happy everyone would be happy, I’m such a fucking waste of space,”

Minghao didn’t care about his clothes as he climbed into the bathtub pulling the now shaking boy into his arms, “That’s not true, I wouldn’t be happy, Seungcheol, Wonwoo, Mingyu, everyone none of us would be happy without you Jun. We love you so so much,  _ I love you so much.  _ Growing up I didn’t have- it doesn’t matter, the past doesn’t matter okay, all that matters is right now, what's happening right now?”

“You love me right now.”

“That right, I love you right now,” Minghao smiled softly kissing Jun’s forehead.

“You’re sitting in a bathtub in your clothes right now.”

Minghao laughed breathily, as Junnie smiled looking up at him, “I am, are you back?”

Jun looked confused for a moment, almost like he didn’t remember leaving but he nodded anyway, wrapping his arms around Minghao tighter. And so they sat, just like that holding onto each other in the cramped bathtub in their shared bathroom in their whore house, the muted sound of the city outside the small window.

“I still can’t believe you got into the bathtub fully dressed,” Jun chuckled softly against Minghao’s chest.

“I don’t think there is a limit on the lengths I’d go for you Wen Junhui,I don’t think there ever will be,” His eyes were dark, he closed them for a moment, a flash of red, open, Jun’s soft gaze, close, Hansol’s wide eyes, open, Jun Jun Jun Jun. So he decides to keep his eyes open. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOF, okay this surprisingly took me so long to write Jesus. I hope I was able to capture everyone's state of minds the way I really wanted to, and kind of show how throughout the chapter they were like changing??? IDK if anyone is confused or has questions please let me know but i'm pretty excited how this story is going, I hope it doesn't get too overwhelming with all the new like aspects I just added, and the more to come, but I kind of like the idea of certain little groups having their own little secrets and stuff that is ultimately going to explode in their faces and contribute to their self-destruction ~ yay! OKAY so I want to be the kind of person to tell you all i'm going to get on a schedule and update regularly but the next 3 weeks i'm going to be crazy busy and out of town for some of them but i'm gonna try my damn hardest! Thanks for being patient with me as always<3 Come yell at me or talk about SVT on my Instagram @strawbhannie AND DON'T FORGET TO VOTE AND STREAM SEVENTEEN FOR THEIR NEW COMEBACK MONDAY!! <333 As always thanks for all the love and happy reading ~


	9. We all make bad decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Channie meets with his client   
> Hansol is trying   
> Jeonghan is spiraling   
> Seungcheol is pissed   
> Seungkwan is confused  
> Josh is tired   
> Minghao is anger!?  
> Mingyu feels guilty  
> and jihoon is trying to keep the peace (sorta)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW IM BACK SO SORRY ABOUT THE LONG LEAVE I'VE BEEN SO BUSY BUT I PROMISE I'LL MAKE IT UP! get's a little dark mind how you go! and please read the tags before reading <3

“So what happened again to the pretty one with the cheekbones?”

Chan moans loudly looking up, Haechan smiles waiting on answer patiently like he isn't currently fucking Chan into a hotel mattress.

“D-do you really think now is the time to squeeze me for information?”

“Well if not now when? You know we’re not actually supposed to use this hour for fucking,” Haechan thrusts his hips hard causing Chan’s breath to hitch as he throws his head back onto the bed.

“Fuck- technically that’s what you paid f-for.” He struggled to get the words out as Haechan flipped him over trying to find a better angle to reach deeper.

“Well technically,” Haechan sneered in the same tone Chan used, “I didn’t pay, you’re fa-“

“Do not says his name while your dick is in me, you're gonna kill my hard-on,” Chan groans letting his chest fall onto the bed, head pressed against the soft sheets while his ass stayed up in the air. Haechan gripping his hips so hard it’s bound to leave bruises as he continued the brutal pace he set.

“Come on Channie~”

“Bastard,” He sighs giving into the olders request “Jeonghan and Mingyu got beat up, ah- had some bad clients, I don’t know H-hansol’s been acting kinda weird lately and- Fuck do that again!” Chan gasps as Haechan hits his prostate just right, causing his back to arch as he grips the sheets.

Haechan comes to a stop completely, causing Chan to whine loudly, pressing his ass back impatiently. “If you want me to do it again you’re gonna have to be a good boy and focus for me,” Haechan leans over a now shaking Chan, still inside him as lips brushing against the shell of his ear, “Or else I’m gonna have to stop.”

A shiver runs down his spine at the idea of Haechan pulling out, “I hate you. I don’t know, Mingyu and Wonwoo keep lurking around Jeonghan, Joshua is a jumpy mess so is Hansol probably something to do with Hao, the three of them and Jun all came back late last week. I’m pretty sure that's why Hansol has been avoiding Seungkwan which is making Seungkwan unbearable. Minghao is just as physco and cryptic as usual, now if you don’t fuck the shit out of me right now you won’t have any need for your dick because I’m going to cut it off.”

Haechan sighs gripping onto Chan’s hips roughly pulling him back onto his dick hard, letting a breathy moan escape the younger. “Okay but why? You didn’t give any reasoning as to why they’re all acting that way.”

Chan moans,”I don’t know! They don’t tell me anything! S-sorry I don’t stalk them around like some kinda fansite!”

“That’s your job!”

“Shut up and make me come!!” Words slurring out his mouth as Haechan abuses his prostate over and over, no longer holding back.

“You’re lucky I love you, little bitch,” Haechan wastes no times, wrapping his arm around Chan’s waist to grab his neglected member stroking it in rhythm with his thrusts.

Chan practically screaming with pleasure as Haechan whispers in his ear, “You’re so good for me baby, the way you take my dick so well, you’re such a good boy for me.”

Chan presses back, legs shaking now as he tries to hold himself up. He moans loudly, “I- I need… want, p-please.”

“What baby, you gotta say it?”

“Come, I want to come please!”

Haechan smiles pressing kisses into Chan’s neck, sucking gently. His hand moving faster as he picks his pace up, hitting deeper with each thrust, “Go on baby.”

That’s all the younger needed, coming undone in Haechan’s hand, whining with pleasure and overstimulation, as Haechan continued to drill into him riding out his own orgasm. The two collapsed on the other trying to catch their breaths, sticky and panting, limbs tangled together on the hotel bed.

“There isn’t anything else?” Haechan smiled lazily after a while, pressing kisses into the youngers neck.

“Nope, you fucked it all out of me,” Chan said cockily smirking over at the other.

“Well, I don’t think your fa-”

“Don’t,” Chan interrupted sitting up too look at Haechan, “Look I don’t care whether he is pleased or not with the information, it’s not my fault Seungcheol is cautious and tells his guys to do the same, maybe he should move on so we all can, he cares more about his own shit than his son.”

Haechan frowns placing his hand on the youngers cheek, running his thumb across his skin soothingly, “That’s not true, you know more than anyone else the pain he went through, he really does love you in his own fucked up way.”

“Yeah, look I don’t care as far as I know Seungcheol is just trying to survive, he’s not planning any crazy shit, and he is following all the rules.”

“Is he going to see his dad any time soon?” Haechan asks timidly pulling his hand back.

“He normally goes once a month, so… he probably will soon, why?” Chan didn’t like the way Haechan wasn’t keeping eye contact. The two of them had known each other for what felt like a lifetime. Haechan had worked for his family since he could remember, always in charge of making sure Chan was safe, the two sort of just fell into the other, it happens when you spend so much time together. Haechan had always been loyal to Chan’s father, never questioning, ever. He said it was because his father saved him from a life of hunger and poverty, Haechan see’s a savior, Chan only see’s a shitty man with no time for his children.

“Just, try to find out when he is going that’s all,” Haechan leans over giving Chan a soft kiss before he rolls off the bed looking for his pants.

“You’re leaving already?”

“Yeah baby I got to get back, so do you our hour is up, I’ll see you in a week or two okay,” he gives Chan one last kiss lingering for just a moment, “I love you,” Haechan smiles rubbing his thumb over Chan’s lip slowly.

“I love you too,” Chan sighs watching as the door shuts behind him, leaving him alone in the empty hotel room, his mind heavy with unwanted  
thoughts.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

“You know you don’t actually have to do this, right?” Josh asked perched on the end of his bed, Hansol turned to face him, momentarily stopping his pacing.

“Yeah I do, I can’t lie to Seungkwan and in order to not lie to him I can’t be around him.”

“But you’re dating? You can’t avoid him forever, wouldn’t it just be easier to break up with him?” Josh asked picking his head up from where it was resting on his knees.

“No of course not! Don’t be stupid I still love him, so much. There’s no way I could do normal everyday people stuff without him.”

“Are you talking about living?” Josh asked amused.

“Yeah that,” Seungkwan was everything if Hansol didn’t have him then what was the point, this is to keep him safe.

He did miss his boyfriend tho, so much. He had been spending most of his time in Josh’s room hiding from Seungkwan or listening to police scanners and radio’s. He finally stopped looking into the man Minghao killed, tried his best to ignore the gnawing thoughts that swarmed around his brain, like the man’s wife and daughter.

“Solie, are you okay?” Josh was standing now, hand on Hansol’s shoulder, bringing him out of his head.

“Maybe,” he left Josh with that and was out the door, heading up to the fourth floor two stairs at a time. He knew if he didn’t go right now, if he saw Seungkwan’s cute face, he would just fall apart. It had to be now. He didn’t even knock before marching into Seungcheol’s office, only slightly surprised to find Jihoon sat on his desk giving the older heart eyes.

“Um sorry for interrupting, can I talk to you guys real quick?”

“Of course Hansol what’s up?” Seungcheol said with his bright smile, still leaving his hand to linger on Jihoon’s knee.

“Okay, can I….I think it would be best- could you?” He sighs deeply blurting it out, “I want solo services, I don’t want to work with Seungkwan anymore.”

“What?” It was Jihoon who spoke up, look of disbelief on his face,“So the couple that is constantly all over each other wants to be apart? Trouble in paradise?”

“Yes, no, whatever just….. please,” Hansol snapped voice sharp, he didn’t mean to sound so angry just he was tired and paranoid, and he missed his boyfriend, so goddamn much.

“Is everything okay Hansol?” Seungcheol asked, worry lacing his voice as he gave the younger a look, Seungcheol really was a great boss, Hansol didn’t deserve him, or Jihoon if he’s being honest.

“Yes, sorry, Its nothing I just want solo services, and I still want the money to go to Seungkwan.”

Seungcheol and Jihoon looked at each other before turning their gazes back to Hansol, “...Sure, Sol, we can do that.” Seungcheol’s voice was soft when he spoke to the younger.

“Do you want me to give Seungkwan the client you have today or do you want to take it?” Jihoon asked looking over.

Hansol knew the client he was talking about, the slimy old man who enjoyed when they dressed up like young school boys. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like without Seungkwan, probably horrible, especially seeing that Seungkwan always takes the lead. But imaging Seungkwan having to face that alone made him feel sick. “Me, I’ll take it, and can you move it up I don’t want Seungkwan to know beforehand.”

“You want us to tell Mr. overdramatic, that you're not only doing solo clients but also taking his service today-”

“We can do it, don’t worry Sol we will handle it and move up your service.” Seungcheol interrupted Jihoon, watching the younger with caring eyes.   
” Are you sure you’re okay, you can always talk to us about anything, you know that right?”

“Thank you, I know,” Hansol thought Seungcheol must have been some caregiver in a past life, the younger forever grateful for his caring boss. He musters up a smile before ducking out of the office and back downstairs. He decides to leave the house before Seungkwan gets up, he is a walking ball of paranoia, (like he has been for the last few days) he leaves the house pulling his backpack on over his shoulder. He wears his hoodie pulled up with his mask on like usual, walking with his head down.

He misses a lot of things these days, his boyfriend, his family, especially his mom, he doesn’t want to think about her right now. She probably thinks he’s a monster, he is one.

He wishes a lot too, wishes he could take Seungkwan and travel the world with him, he wishes Jeonghan and Mingyu never got hurt, Jun didn’t cover for Josh, Minghao never shot that man, he wishes his family was back, he could see his sister and his father. Wishing is stupid, and he’s so fucking tired. He just has to get through today, everything will blow over he will be okay. If he keeps telling himself that, soon it will happen, soon.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

“What the hell is wrong with me,” It was an empty question asked into an empty space as Jeonghan slung his legs over the side of the roof. He laid down so he was on his back, staring up into the gray sky. He felt the color suited his insides. He hated feeling this way, well, in all honesty, he hated feeling anything at all, but this was feeling with a purpose, a purpose of feeling like shit.

“Poor Hannie,” He propped himself up just enough to take another chug from the half-empty bottle of Soju he had been nursing. Coughing just slightly as he tried to lay back down, he was sick of feeling so much all at once. It was so frustrating, ever since he was little he could repress these feelings. Lock them away like his mother used to hide the special toys she only brought out for high paying customers, the faded pink box under her bed. She was always a tease, maybe it’s her fault he’s so fucked, who is he kidding of course it is.

Two more chugs down before a voice called out demanding his attention and breaking the silence he had built around himself. “Hannie, are you okay?”

God he hated that question, he tipped his head back to see Mingyu, tall, beautiful, tan, worried, bruised, sad.

“You brought your boyfriend with you, yay,” he sighed, voice even and monotone as he took another drink. He didn’t mean it, he always got so bitchy when he was drunk.

“Hannie, it’s not safe to lay half off the roof of a four-story building, while drunk,” Wonwoo reminded, always sounding so sure of himself and smart, it was infuriating how right he was all the time.

“It’s also not safe to break people’s promises,” He scowled over at Mingyu.

“What? That doesn’t make any sense,” Wonwoo corrected out of instinct, seeing the frown on Mingyu’s face he continued. “He didn’t tell me at first, I really had to pull it out of him, but I’m glad he told me, I just want to help Han, swear.”

“I don’t need anyone's fucking help unless that help is getting me a refill,” he rolled the now empty bottle towards Mingyu’s feet laying his head back down dramatically.

“How about we go inside, get you some coffee? Water maybe?” Mingyu asks taking a step closer. Jeonghan closes his eyes tightly, he doesn’t need any water, or Mingyu and Wonwoo for that matter. He has always been alone, he doesn’t know why the feelings are still here but he will figure it out alone just like he’s done his whole life.

“If you’re not going to bring me a drink, you can go away, I didn’t anyone back then and I don’t need anyone now, I’m fine.”

“You’re not Jeonghan, and that’s oka-”

“What the hell do you know about anything!?” Jeonghan sat up quickly, wobbling from the dizziness in his head. Wonwoo was right, he was too close to the edge of the roof for someone who was as drunk as he was, but would it be so terrible for him to fall right now?

“I’m just trying to help,” Wonwoo spoke slowly like he was a small child or animal that could be frightened. It only made him angrier, why do they care now, nobody has ever cared, why should he.

“Kiss my ass Wonwoo,” That’s not what he really meant to say but he thinks his point got across his head was too dizzy to get his thoughts together anyway, he was really close to the edge was he always this close?

“I’m getting Cheol,” Wonwoo didn’t wait to hear any arguments as he made a beeline for the fire escape.

“Hannie please come away from the ledge, I can’t possibly know what you’re going through, but I want to help, I want to listen and be there.”

His head hurt so bad, why won’t they just leave him alone, why won’t everything just leave him alone. These thoughts, and memories, everything he pushed away why is it all coming back now, he just wants everything to go away.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

  
“Cheol!” Seungcheol jumped at the second intrusion into his office, looking up to see a frantic Wonwoo in his doorway. “It’s Jeonghan! He’s drunk and on the roof, he’s all messed up from the service with Mingyu he won’t listen to us we need your help!”

“Wait, Woah Woah slow down, what happened at the service with Mingyu?” Seungcheol asked slowly, already standing.

It didn’t take long for Wonwoo to fully explain the situation, the things the men did to Jeonghan, how he made Mingyu promise him to keep it a secret. With every word he felt his blood rise, his hands shaking with anger.

“What were the asshole’s names,” He was on his computer in seconds pulling up the file Jihoon had made for their service.

“Cheol I’ve already tried that, it won't help or do anything they used fake names-” Jihoon tired to chime in.

“Then bring Hansol in! I don’t care, find them, I want them found now!” He felt the heat rise inside, his mind was racing to fast to factor logic into anything. He saw the color red when he imagined what he would do to them once he got his hands on them.

“Cheol listen to me! You need to calm down that isn’t going to solve any problems. They aren’t here but Jeonghan is right now and he needs you.” Jihoon grabbed his shoulders speaking slowly and calmly.

He took a deep breath letting the air fill his lungs completely, Jihoon always being the one to put some sense into him, talk him off the ledge. He nodded, not having to use words, Jihoon knew what he meant. He quickly made his way to the roof, Wonwoo following close behind.

He climbed out the window in the hall and onto the fire escape heading up to the roof, he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding when he saw Jeonghan standing inches from the edge on two wobbly legs.

He didn’t get a word out before Jeonghan’s eyes landed on him, “Oh great Cheol is here, now we can really have a party! Is there anyone else you’re not gonna tell? Want me to call my mom for you to Gyu, oh wait she wouldn’t care,” Jeonghan laughed bitterly, stumbling ever so slightly as he waved his finger at Mingyu.

“I didn’t tell Seungcheol I swear Hannie, I just want to help you please come away from there.” Mingyu pleaded.

“Why! Why the hell should I? Why the hell do any of you care what the fuck I do! Like it would make any difference whether im standing on this roof, or laying on the ground down there. The world will still keep spinning, people will still keep fucking! It doesn't matter, none of it fucking matters!”

“Hannie stop, don’t say that, please come here let me just talk with you please,” Seungcheol’s voice is so dangerously soft, teetering on the edge of breaking as he walks over to Jeonghan. One foot in front of the other, slow but never stopping, always moving towards him.

“What Cheol, what the hell are you gonna say huh? You can’t make this better, if anything you of all people should stay away from me, I’m dirty and used,” Tears were falling from his eyes now, spilling onto cheekbones and soft skin. Seungcheol ached to wipe them away, to pull him into his arms and take all the pain away. He was so close a few more steps and he could reach him.  
  
“Don’t say that don’t ever think you aren’t anything short of beautiful,” He was there now, hands holding Jeonghan’s shaky ones, pulling him away from the ledge and into his embrace. Constantly backing away from the ledge.

“Stop!” He pulled away roughly, “You can’t fix this! You can’t just come in like you always do and fix this, okay! I’m not some fucking princess and you’re not this big hero you think you are! It’s broken and dirty and so so painful and you’re anything but that! So just fuck off!”

“I can try, I can make sure this never happens to you again, I can be with you-” Jeonghan’s laughter empty and cold cut him off.

“It’s going to happen again, it always happens! Always always always! It’s just the way it goes, God, this is so stupid I don’t want to talk about it I just need these feelings to go away! I need all of you to go away!”

“Hannie listen to me, you don’t have to keep fighting, please just let me help you. What happened to you isn’t okay-” Seungcheol tired again, slow and patient.

“Shut up! Don’t say that, don’t say that what happened to me isn’t fine! What happened to me all those times is fine it has to be fine!”

“All those times? Jeonghan how long has this been going on?” Seungcheol’s voice was so soft as he looked at the breaking boy in front of him. Pretty tears fell from his face as he held his head in his hands, and all Seungcheol could do was watch.

“It’s fine! It has to be fine because, because-” Sob after sob left his body as he fell to his knees, finally letting everything out he held in for so long. “If it’s not fine then it just happened to me, it just happened and no one stopped it! Why did it happen, every time it happened and no one- no one said anything! I didn’t say anything!”

His whole body shook as Seungcheol pulled him onto his lap, holding him as tight as he could, “Shh, I don’t know, I don’t know why any of it happened to you. I’m so so sorry Hannie, you didn’t deserve any of it. It’s not your fault, nothing was ever your fault, you’re so beautiful Jeonghan.” Seungcheol spoke softly as he held him tightly.

“I’m sorry, I’m dirty, dirty, dirty.” Jeonghan coughed out into his chest, fingers gripping tightly, as his tears stained the shirt he was wearing.

“Shh, you’re so beautiful, inside and out. Please, please don’t think you’re anything less. It’s not okay right now but it will be, I won’t let anything like this happens to you ever again. I care, I’ll always care, you don’t have to keep it in anymore, I’m not gonna ever leave you, Jeonghan.”

He cried, he cried until his throat was raw and his eyes no longer opened, until all that left his soft lips were broken sobs and hiccups. Seungcheol never let go of him, not even for a second.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jihoon took a deep breath, usually he had to yell to get attention but it’s quiet, something he always wanted from his housemate but this was almost a sad kind of quiet, one that was heavy and long.

“Okay… so the schedule for today-“

“Aren’t we going to wait for everyone else?” Seokmin asked from where he was sitting next to Seungkwan, a protective arm around the younger. Jihoon wasn’t surprised to see BooSeokSoon squished on the couch with Seungkwan in the middle, especially with the way Hansol has been acting recently.

“Cheol is with Jeonghan while he is resting, and Hansol is already out,” Jihoon noticed Seungkwan deflate more into the couch, pulling Hansol's hoodie further down over his face, he had been wearing it for at least 3 days now.

Jihoon used the silence as a way to continue, “Since the incident Cheol and I want everyone to be more aware, if your service feels off even just a little don’t hesitate to leave. Believe it or not we care more about you idiots then the money and clients, shocker I know. So everyone has pretty normal schedules, you all have a service today except Mingyu and Jeonghan since we would still like you to rest, oh and …… Seungkwan.” Jihoon cursed Seungcheol internally for leaving him to deal with Seungkwan alone, they both know he doesn’t do people or feelings well.

“Wait me? No me and Solie have a service today, that’s if he even shows up,” Seungkwan mumbled the last part under his breath.

What would Seungcheol do? Jihoon looked at Seungkwan slowly taking a deep breath. “Kwannie, Hansol actually asked to do solo services from now on…., so you’re good for today.”

Seungkwan’s mouth popped open on a questions, words getting lost on their way out. His eyes fell dark as he looked at Jihoon.

“He what? What do you mean he wants solo services?”

Jihoon never got a chance to answer, Wonwoo’s voice deep and clear cutting him off. “Gyu, I had to we both know I did it’s gonna be okay.” The two had been discussing quietly before their argument got out of hand.

“You're talking about the same Yoon Jeonghan that ignored Junhui for a whole week because he accidentally hinted that we’re throwing Soonyoung a surprise party for his birthday.”

“You’re throwing me a surprise party?” Soonyoung asked sitting up from the couch. Mingyu clasped his hand over his mouth, puppy eyes big.

“Can we get back to me, and my asshole boyfriend ditching me!” Seungkwan hisses drawing attention back to himself tho it doesn’t last long.

“I think Junhui should have a break from services as well,” Minghao speaks up.

“What?” Jihoon looks at him with his mouth open, “Why? Did something happen?”

“No, nothing!” Josh and Junhui spoke up suspiciously at the same time, Josh sounding more frantic than Junhui.

“I’m fine, I was tired the other day and Hao Hao likes to worry.” Junhui smiles thin and stretched.

“Does anyone care that my relationship is falling apart?!” Seungkwan sighed dramatically, arms flailing out.

“Kwannie, your relationship is fine, Hansol is just trying to do what he thinks is best.” Josh spoke up softly, trying to calm the blonde boy down.

“Shut up Shua! This is all your fault! He was fine before you took him out!” Seungkwan yelled, wiggling an accusing finger in Joshua’s direction.

“Yeah I agree, this is all Joshua’s fault,” Minghao agrees, shooting a look at Joshua.

“Me? Hao we both know I’m not the reason Hansol is a walking anxiety attack right now!” Joshua spit back, trying to defend himself. Minghao shot up only for Junhui to hold him back.

“Hao, it’s not Josh’s fault, calm down you know he’s right,” Junhui said holding the other Chinese boy down.

“What the hell did you three crackheads do to my boyfriend? Before that night he still loved me.” Seungkwan frowned, Soonyoung and Seokmin quick to wrap their arms around Seungkwan and whisper reassuring words to the younger.

“Kwannie, that’s not true Hansol loves you,” Josh spoke up, a look of guilt on his face.

“Look I don’t know what the hell is going on with all of you, but you need to get your shit together!” Jihoon sighed looking at all of them. “Mingyu, Jeonghan will come around it was the right thing to do, don’t be mad at Wonu. Kwannie, Joshua was right Hansol loves you, when he came in to ask for solo services I don’t think he wanted to hurt you…. He even wanted all the money to still go directly to you.” Jihoon said watching Seungkwan.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I don’t know why. He is with your client right now, we moved the service up it started a few minutes ago, he really is just trying to do what’s best, but you know Hansol.”

“I do,” Seungkwan frowned biting his lip, “And he’s an idiot, my idiot. I’m going to him and we’re going to talk and he is going to tell me what the hell is bothering him.” He stood up from the couch determined

“Wait, Kwan what if he is not telling you whatever it is for a reason,” It was Minghao who spoke up this time.

“Yeah, maybe it’s best to let him come to you,” Josh added.

“Really do you think I should wait?” Seungkwan asked.

Minghao and Josh didn’t get to answer before Soonyoung was up on his feet, “No don’t listen to them! it’s your relationship Kwannie go get your man!”

Seungkwan nodded smiling and was out the door before anyone could say another word. Jihoon noticed Minghao and Josh exchange glances.

“What the hell is going on with you two? Is there something about Hansol you’re not telling us?” Jihoon asks closing his laptop to give them his full attention.

“Nothing it’s fine, we’re all fine right Josh,” Minghao shoots the older a look, keeping his gaze locked on the others. Joshua nods not making eye contact with Jihoon.

“Whatever,” Jihoon sighs, “I’m not Cheol, he can deal with this I don’t care.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for being gone for a hot minute but i'm planning to post more chapters for this story this week! So get ready for more self-destructive characters cause it's only going downhill from here loves! I probably should add more to this endnote thing but i'm exhausted :( but hold on to your seats ladies cause there a lot more coming and it's all horrible! Thanks for all the love and kudos! 
> 
> Come yell at me to update better on Instagram and twitter @strawbhannie! and always happy reading <3


	10. the many ways one can heal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welp here we are

Where should he start, probably the beginning, but he doesn’t have time for that so he will have to settle with the now. Soonyoung thought that was the best anyway, living in the now that is.

Soonyoung was a movie, he liked to picture his life in moments, parts with a big grand ending. An ending he would be proud of. Moments good or bad it didn’t matter, they were all going to the same place, they all had the same ending.

There was, believe it or not, a method to his madness, I guess in this case his madness meaning his itsy bitsy barely a problem “drug problem.” His boyfriend and group of self-destructive teenagers he likes to call friends, tend to think of it as a ‘life-altering issue’ but it’s nothing, really.

Maybe it was rotting his insides, _slightly_ , and turning his head to mush, _probably_ , but he was in control of it, _mostly_. There was no earthquake threatening to crack the surface, no meteors crashing down on a fiery path to earth, so he spent half of his time high, sue him.

But this isn’t about that, he doesn’t have time for that, only the now.

He just needed a little faith, not personally, Soonyoung had enough faith to power a small village. Maybe it was a little trust? He couldn’t remember, the streets were full of people, and so was his mind. Not of people, thoughts big and little and loud.

He’s trying to stay in the now, but he keeps going back to then. Remembering things that shouldn’t matter in the now but they do, it was confusing.

Soonyoung was a lost cause, a broken line, but faulty or not he knows himself. He knows how much he can take, knows how to numb pain that's been rooted in his chest so long it’s sprouted vines that wrap around his rib cage. He knows how to calm oceans that rage in his mind, and hands that shake too hard to even function.

But what he doesn’t know, more of like what he doesn’t understand is the judgment in his friend's eyes, the hurt in his boyfriend's touch. So what if he has to hurt to heal, don’t we all have to hurt to heal? Seokmin says he’s not healing, he’s not fixing the wounds he is deepening them.

Soonyoung is a cage, the monster in his belly roars and bangs on the walls of his stomach. Every time he causes pain on the ones he loves his mind is split into two halves _. He’s just trying to survive can’t they see that?_ _How could he hurt them like that, how could he make them watch him suffe_ r. Usually, it ends in a headache, smoking is good for that but so is Seokmin’s kisses. Seokmin doesn’t like it when he smells like smoke so he takes a pill instead.

Soonyoung is a cloud, he floats through life. Never low enough for his feet to touch the ground. His life continues to play in parts, muted sounds, and colors, thoughts almost there but not completely. On good days, Soonyoung is a cloud. 

Soonyoung is a thunderstorm, dark and full of secrets. He is filled to the brim on days like this, he doesn’t float he levitates. His feet just hang, the ground nowhere to be seen below. If he can’t see his problems he won’t have to face them, most days Soonyoung is a thunderstorm.

Seokmin is worried, of course. Seokmin is the one thing that makes Soonyoung try to just be, Soonyoung. He doesn’t want to be a cloud for Seokmin, floating and muted. He wants to see him clearly and completely. But the monster in his belly, the vines in his ribcage, and the sea in his mind are so loud, it’s easier to feed them.

So in the end, or I guess the now, Soonyoung is some mixture of clouds and thunderstorms, he is himself when he needs to be, and nothing when he doesn’t. He is filled with secrets yet he is empty.

Soonyoung is standing in front of mirror in an hotel room. There’s a stranger who is empty just like him, asking to be filled temporarily, asking for a fleeting moment. Soonyoung is a moment, giving himself away, passing through.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

This was never Hansol’s intention, well obviously. It’s almost funny how fucked up everything got in the course of a few days, a few changes of the moon.

He was uncomfortable, mainly from the service he had just completed, limbs sore and littered with reddish spots. The memory of chapped lips making him shudder. His uncomfortableness could also be due to the fact he was too long for the park bench he was sprawled across, how he and Seungkwan ever fit is a mystery, but love transcends logic he guesses. The sun is starting to go down as the wind blows cold, eyes closing on a memory.

_“There are so many things that aren’t ours, that we can’t have, even just the smallest of things, I’m sick of it.” Seungkwan had said to him one day, sitting on a bench, hungry and tired from a day of looking for food and coming up short._

_“Well then we should just take them if we want them,” Hansol had replied._

_“Like steal them you mean?”_

_“I guess,” Hansol stopped for a moment, a big toothy grin spreading across his face, “We can have anything we want, you’re Boo Seungkwan, and I’m Chwe Hansol and I declare it!”_

_His boyfriend laughed bright and airy as he playfully pushed Hansol’s shoulder, “What nonsense are you sprouting out now?”_

_“This bench do you like it?” Hansol asked, leaning into the warm embrace that was Boo Seungkwan._

_“I guess…., it’s nice, under a big tree so it’s in the shade.”_

_“Well then, if you like it, it’s ours.”_

_Seungkwan smiled, and Hansol felt it in his fingertips, “Just like that?”_

_“Just like that,” Hansol assured, placing small pecks on his boyfriend's soft lips, reducing the smiling boy to soft giggles. Of course, somewhere outside of their blissful haze they knew the bench wasn’t theirs, nothing truly was, but that didn’t stop them from claiming spots and moments all over the city._

When he opened his eyes again the memory was gone, and so was the sun. How long he had been out was a lost thought in a sea of guilt and paranoia. Hansol thought it was karma his mind returning to the messed up state it’s been in for the past few days.

“What am I going to do?” The words slipped out of his lips, almost as if they were scared to be released into the quiet night, making them real.

“I knew I’d find you here.” A beautifully familiar voice filled the air around Hansol and he sat up so quickly it made him dizzy.

“Seungkwan? I- What are you? How did you?” Hansol stuttered out.

“I know everything about you Solie,” Seungkwan sat beside him and Hansol’s body immediately released the breath it was holding. Relief washing over him, almost as if it had been searching for Seungkwan this whole time.

For a moment it was as if nothing had gone wrong, everything falling into its familiar place, until the warm smile that sat on his boyfriend's face fell away, “Well… I thought I did.”

Hansol felt the guilt pull him down, he let gravity take the lead looking down at his hands refusing to make eye contact with Seungkwan, “You still do Kwannie..”

“No I don’t, you haven’t talked to me let alone really looked at me in almost 4 days! And now you’re doing solo services, I don’t know what I did wrong but I-”

“Nothing! You didn’t do anything wrong!” Hansol picked his head up, fighting against the weight of guilt screaming at him to stay down.

“Then tell me what happened! Talk to me please, I miss you,” Seungkwan cupped Hansol’s face, keeping his gaze so he couldn’t look away.

“I can’t, Kwan it’s for your own good I need you to trust me-”

“And I need you to trust me! I thought that’s what we did, you and I. Hansol and Seungkwan against the world, how am I supposed to help you when you try and go it alone?” Seungkwan let go of his boyfriends face. Frowning as he moved to place his hand over Hansol’s. “Whatever it is I’m sure we can get through it together.”

“No, not this time, if something happened to you, god if anything were to ever happen to you,” Hansol’s hands were at either side of Seungkwan’s face now, shaky breaths slowing his speech.

“Nothing is going to happen to me, I’m too stubborn,” Seungkwan smirked giving his boyfriends hand a reassuring squeeze, “Please.”

Hansol sighed, he knows Seungkwan and there was honestly no way he was ever gonna keep it a secret for long anyway. “It all happened so fast, Joshua let Jun cover for him on a service, and then Joshua got scared, he didn’t want to lose his job so he came to me for help. I told Minghao because I knew Jun would need more help than what I or Joshua could give him, but I didn’t realize- I forgot how crazy ass protective Minghao is over Jun. when he found the guy who hurt him- I couldn’t stop him, Kwan, I tried so hard. It was horrible, he shot him right in front of me and some cops, god right through the head it was so fucked and it just plays in my mind over and over.”

Seungkwan was quiet, as he watched his boyfriend carefully, letting him finish the story.

“I cleared as much of the footage that I could find but I know it’s not all of it, the cops they saw our faces, they have sketches by now I’m pretty sure, God it’s so bad. I’m the only one who seems to think this is serious, the guy he killed wasn’t some random guy either, he was into some sketchy stuff, he has people who aren’t going to take his death lightly, and I’m so fucking nervous all the time that this is all gonna blow up and someone’s going to get hurt. I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you just, God if anything ever happened to you, I-I don’t know what I’d do.”

Seungkwan let out a deep breath, and Hansol watched him with darting eyes, trying to pick apart the thoughts he hadn’t voiced yet. His hand started to feel shaky again, but Seungkwan was there, warm fingers intertwining with his own.

“That- wasn’t what I was expecting….. But, I get it. Solie I know this looks… Is bad but we have been through worse, it will be okay.” Seungkwan kissed his cheek, pulling Hansol into his arms. The words were comforting, but that was their only purpose. Neither he or Seungkwan knew it was actually going to be okay, things were far from okay, but it seemed that's how the two have always lived. Teetering on the edge of everything going to absolute shit.

They didn’t say anything after that, there wasn’t anything that needed to be said. All they truly needed was one another, eventually, they would get up, go home face the world but for now, for the moment they stayed on their bench, wrapped in the comfort of one another. Hansol let the moment freeze in time, tried to think about what it would look like from above. He remembered Seungkwan’s face, his cheeks, and fingers, the smell of his shampoo. He looked at the sky and picked the brightest star, he decided to quietly claim it, he kept the moment in his mind, right next to the star.

  
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Junhui knows he is good looking, but he tries not to use the fact that everyone in the house is wrapped around his finger to his advantage, only in emergencies, which he feel this is.

“Okay, look I brought you two out because I feel like there is a lot of negativity going on here and if it gets any worse we’re all gonna suffocate, plus I wanted ice cream!” Junhui smiles as he takes another lick of the ice cream that Joshua had just bought him.

Junhui sighed pulling the cone away from his mouth looking from Joshua to Minghao, neither was talking just glaring at the other over their ice cream, “If you don’t talk I’m going to be very upset with both of you,” Junhui whines putting on the best puppy look he could muster.

“Fine, for Junnie. Look Minghao, I’m very sorry for whatever the hell I did to you.” Joshua sighs looking at the other.

“You got Junhui hurt that's what you did because you’re careless and reckless,” Minghao snapped back.

“I’m careless and reckless? Says the one who shot someone in the middle of a club!” Joshua shot back.

“Shhh! God, why don’t you say it louder,” Minghao roll his eyes.

“Okay well, that went as good as it could have gone I guess…” Junhui sighs, “This is my fault I shouldn’t have told Joshua I could cover for him, so please don’t be mad at each other anymore this whole thing is just one big mess.”

Joshua exhales a deep breath before looking at Minghao,  "I already apologized to Junhui and I should have apologized to you as well. I know what it’s like to care about someone, that's what I was doing when Junnie was covering for me, I’m really sorry things got so fucked up, it wasn’t my intention. I’m sorry, to both of you.”

“I….I’m sorry too, sorry I lashed out at you and tried to choke you, and that I shot someone without thinking of an exit strategy,” Minghao mumbled not making direct eye contact with Joshua until the very end.

“Yeah, I feel like Hansol needs that apology more than I do, even tho that's not gonna change the fact.” Joshua laughed a little, nervousness bubbling in his voice.

Junhui clapped his hands together smiling, “Yay! So we can put all this dumb shit behind us finally right?”

The two nodded slowly and Junhui smiled brightly at the both of them, dragging smiles out of them in return. “Good cause I’m all out of ice cream.’

The taller Chinese man pouts and Joshua and Minghao proceed to melt under his spell. Minghao was the first up already knowing Junhui’s order as he walked back to the small ice cream stand, a few feet over from them. Joshua sighed looking over at Junhui.

“I hope you know I am really sorry you got hurt if I could go back believe me I would.”

Junhui placed his hand over Joshua's, “Shua, it was just a big mess, I’m not upset things happen all the time it’s okay let’s just try to put it behind us as best we can and hope we survive whatever hell is more than likely going to come at us.”

Before Joshua could respond a young girl who looked slightly familiar to him called out for Joshua making a beeline for the small table the two were sat at. “Joshy, What are you doing here ?!”

“Joshy?” Junhui smiled amusingly.

“H-hey Rinnie,” Joshua stumbled onto his feet pulling the small girl who Junhui assumes is his younger sister into a hug, “Just out with my friends, uhh, this is Junhui,”

“Hello, Shua didn’t tell me his sister was so beautiful,” Junhui smiles charmingly as he waves to her. She visibly gasps at Junhui, her face turning a bright red as she bows her head to him greeting him. He's used to this, girls and even guys becoming flustered around him, he doesn’t quite get it but it never fails to make him happy.

Joshua rolled his eyes calling his sisters name to stop her from drooling over Junhui, “Rinnie, what are you doing here?” 

“I’m here to visit my boyfriend he’s on a patrol here so I came to see him,” The young girl smiles swinging back and forth.

“Patrol?” Junhui asked quietly back straightening.

“Excuse me? Like boyfriend as in he’s a friend that’s a boy that you two... just friends…..that...only…..you’re friends with right, friends?”

His sister laughs pushing her brother playfully, Josh not looking as amused, “No silly, like we are in a relationship, he’s right over there. Oppa!” She waves him over smiling.

“Oppa?!” Joshua repeats disgustedly and Junhui can’t help but laugh at Joshua’s face. That is until the young man that strolls over is not only handsome but also a cop. Junhui’s eye widen as he watches Joshua’s expression do the same. The boy looks to be younger than both Joshua and Junhui, but only a little older than Joshua’s sister.

Joshua malfunctions just staring at the couple with his mouth open on a question, one that can’t seem to find its way out. Erin seems to take the lead without a problem, “Joshua this is Jaejoon,” the young boy bows addressing Joshua politely.

“I apologize, since I am in a serious relationship with your sister I should have introduced myself a lot sooner, I hope you can forgive me,” he bows again flashing Joshua a pretty smile, the American tho is still struggling to wrap his brain around the situation.

“Serious?” He repeats to himself quietly, staring at the way Erin holds his hand swinging it back and forth. Junhui leans back in his chair, an amused smile on his face as he watches this trainwreck unfold.

“Joshy? Are you alright?” Erin asks her older brother in English, maybe as a way to snap him out of his thoughts.

“Uh, yes...um-” Joshua never got to finish his thought before Minghao returned, ice cream cone in hand.

“Here Junnie, sorry it took so long the dumbass in front of me was taking forever-” Minghao stopped eyes widening at the cop standing across the table from him. Junhui could already see his fight or flight gears turning and reached out for his hand giving it a reassuring squeeze as he thanked him.

The young officer kept his eyes locked on Minghao, a puzzled expression on his face, “Do I know you? I swear I think I’ve seen you somewhere before”?

Joshua followed his gaze to Minghao and spoke up quickly, “No, there’s no way, he is a foreigner actually only came to Korea just a few days ago to visit,” Joshua lied smoothly, making sure to keep Minghao’s name out of the conversation, Minghao nodded turning away from the cop as if to hide his face slightly. “But we should really get going, he is only here for a few days and lots more things to see right!” Joshua laughed an airy fake thing, Junhui was impressed with how quickly Joshua handles himself in stressful situations.

Minghao already began to walk away from the couple dragging Junhui with him, as Joshua said goodbye to his little sister and her new boyfriend, then ran the short distance to catch up with the two. Junhui licked his ice cream cone, looking over his shoulder as the couple walked away in the other direction, Erin's arm looped through his as she smiled up at him.

“This is bad, really bad,” Junhui said between licks.

“I can’t take you seriously while you’re licking an ice cream cone like a little kitty,” Minghao sighs fondly as he watches, Junhui smiles wrinkling his nose as he takes another lick.

“I know, she is eighteen! Who does he think he is, a serious relationship my ass!” Joshua rants, still looking back at the couple shrinking from view the further they got from each other.

“No not that, dumbass, that rookie cop recognized me which means the cops are probably looking for me and Hansol.” Minghao sighs as he kicks a stone from the path.

“How’d you know he was a rookie?” Joshua asked.

“His uniform, his hair, and the fact he is patrolling a park that the worst thing that happens in it is the occasional purse gets snatched, and even that is rare,” Minghao states like it’s obvious.

“Ah, I was talking about the fact that now Joshy has a connection to the cops, and that's like endgame for Seungcheol and Jihoon,” Junhui says sweetly as he licks his ice cream like he doesn’t have a care in the world.

“Or kill him,” Minghao added flatly.

“W-wait wait, I don’t have a connection to the cops, my sister is just dating one, they wouldn’t fire me over that right?” Joshua looked up worriedly.

“This is bad,” Junhui repeated.

“Or, hear me out this could be really good for us,” Minghao smiles, a smile that Junhui has seen before many many bad ideas later, but Junhui is never one to stop Minghao, especially when he is expressing his ideas, plus where would the fun in that be. 

“Explain, please,” Joshua says impatiently, as the three head out the park and back onto the main sidewalk.

“You could be our inside man ya know, find out how much these cops actually know about me and Hansol, maybe even steer them clear.”

“You want me to befriend the cop who is dating my sister, a cop that could potentially get all of us arrested for god, an enormous list of things,” Joshua eyes Minghao, a look of uncertainty and worry on his face.

“I saw how smooth you lied back there, it’ll be fine, what’s the worst that could happen?” Minghao smiles bumping shoulders with Joshua.

“A lot, a lot could happen like all of us going to jail! Joshua looks at Junhui for help.

“I think it is a terrible idea,” He said taking another lick from his ice cream.

“Thank you,” Joshua sighed of relief.

“Let’s do it!” Junhui smiled brightly at the two of them, Joshua moaned putting his face in his hands and Minghao laughed throwing his arm around his shoulder.

“We’re all going to jail,” Joshua frowned mumbling into his hands, letting himself be led by Minghao.

“Only if we get caught,” Junhui added positively laughing at the eye roll he received from Joshua.

“And if we do we can just kill him!”

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jeonghan was only aware of the pounding in his head as he sits up in bed, he held his head as his eyes clsoed, the will to stay open weak. The light hurt and maybe the longer they stay closed the sooner the pain will fade. The next thing he is aware of is that he is without a doubt an absolute idiot, he opened his eyes slowly to see that not only was he in Seungcheol’s bed, but the man himself was asleep beside him.

A healthy distance between them, one where Seungcheol wasn’t close enough to actually touch Jeonghan, but still there if he needed him. The only thing he needs right now is an Advil, two and maybe a time machine.

“Stupid stupid,” Jeonghan whispered to himself, already lifting the sheets off to try and make a quiet escape.

“Mm- you’re awake,” Seungcheol yawned opening his eyes to look at Jeonghan.

Jeonghan jumped as the sheets fell from his hands and he turned to face Seungcheol, “Y-yeah, thanks for helping me,” he flinched at how hoarse his voice sounded.

Seungcheol sat up in bed stretching, lean muscles flexing as he raised his arms above his head. He pressed a glass of water into Jeonghan’s hand along with some Advil that he picked up from his bedside table.

“Thanks,” Jeonghan spoke softly as he gratefully swallowed the pills down, chugging the water like he was dying of thirst. His throat felt so dry, even with the glass empty his mouth remained full of cotton.

Seungcheol watched him carefully as if he was a helpless baby. He felt like a deer caught in headlights, one sudden move and he would run for it. That's what he used to, after all, escaping, avoiding, surviving.

“How are you feeling?”

God, there it is, the look of pity, Seungcheol’s gaze swallowed him whole. It pulled him apart wanting to see all of his flaws, his broken parts. He felt suffocated under the weight that his eyes held, almost as if Jeonghan would break at any moment. He wouldn’t break, he was tough, broken and put back together with duct tape and the will not to cry. Not even Choi Seungcheol with his soft words and big heart was going to change that.

“I’m great, never better,” He pushed the sheets off rising from the bed on two legs he demanded not to shake.

“Jeonghan y-”

“I said I’m fine, what is this to you some kinda hero fantasy. The great Seungcheol, kind and caring swoops in and saves poor damaged Jeonghan,” He tried to hide the bitterness in his words, but the walls were coming up faster then he could stop them. The instincts to protect himself before he got hurt coming into full swing.

“Do you ever cut that shit out, all the fronts you put up, deflecting anytime you feel the tiniest bit of an emotion. Can a genuine thing even come out of your mouth?” Seungcheol says now standing as well, fists clenched at his sides.

“And can you ever stop trying to jump on the bombs of everyone else's self-destruction, do you ever get tired of saving everyone?” Jeonghan spits back, eyes dark as they meet Seungcheol’s. 

Jeonghan sighs turning and heading to the door only for Seungcheol to beat him to it. Sliding against it so his back was against it, along with all his weight keeping it closed. Their chests were pressed together, noses barely touching as the faint feeling of warm breath ghosted their lips.

“Just talk to me Han, it’s just me and you.” Seungcheol breathes out, forehead pressing against the others. Jeonghan lets himself be taken for a moment, let’s his eyes close as he feels Seungcheol. Listens to the sound of him breathing, let’s his mind piece the image of him together, eyes and lips and hands. Jeonghan doesn’t want, he doesn’t hope, hoping is dangerous and foolish, but Seungcheol almost makes him want to, almost.

“I’m fine,” it’s quiet when he speaks but firm, no room for questions, as he opens his eyes pulling away just enough to see the other properly.

“Jeonghan-”

He doesn’t let Seungcheol finish, doesn’t want to hear more about talking and fixing things, he doesn’t want to open up. He has a hand around his neck and their lips pressed together, forcefully demanding quite. Taking control back.

Jeonghan’s the first to pull away, he is always annoyed at how much their kisses affect him. Uneven breathing as the two look at each other. “I believe you. If you say you’re fine then you’re fine. You don’t have to prove anything to me.”

“Then why are your hands still on my hips?” Jeonghan asks dangerously low, personal space out the window as the two press themselves even closer, the grip on his waist tightens.

The touches feel hot, prickly even and Jeonghan can’t tell if it’s from lust or disgust, but Seungcheol is wrong. He does have something to prove, if to no one else then himself. He wants to be fine, and he will take it if he has to, just like everything that has been taken from him time and time again.

Seungcheol’s mood changes, a subtle shift of the wind, an arch of his back. Jeonghan is pressed against the door now as hands move away from his hips and placed onto either side of him. Seungcheol creates a space between them looking down at him like he’s studying him, looking for answers to questions that keep him up at night.

Jeonghan is the devil cold and heartless. He is not an angel if he was an angel he would have let Seungcheol go a long time ago. Instead, he claws and seduces, he drags him down to his own level, dangling what he wants in the olders face before he locks it away.

Seungcheol lets out a breath, almost one of defeat as one hand drops from the wall. It finds its way to Jeonghan’s face, gentle touches that hurt but soothe all at the same time. Jeonghan curses himself for flinching away from the touch, “You’re always so strong, will you ever let anyone in.”

It wasn’t so much a question as it was a statement, a mutual awareness of what Jeonghan is, what he will always be. He doesn’t close his eyes this time, he lets this moment pass, he doesn’t want to keep it, to ever see it again. He lets his mind call the shots, hands snaking up Seungcheol’s chest. “So you can save me? Add me to the list of names on your trophy wall.”

“What’s so wrong with me wanting to save you. You’re worth saving.” Seungcheol whispered, and Jeonghan couldn’t stop the shiver that ran up his body.

“You just want something to claim, to fix, damaged things excite you,” Jeonghan smirked something dark and thoughtless as he pressed himself closer to Seungcheol, ignoring the screaming in his limbs.

“You’re such an idiot, you know that right,” Seungcheol sighs, frustration in his words, his movements as he picks Jeonghan up like he weighs nothing and places him on the bed.

Jeonghan’s breath catches, his mind becomes fuzzy the only grounding thought is the fire on his skin. “I don’t like to assume things about myself,” The smirk on his lips was tight as he held onto the little control he had.

Seungcheol hovered over his body, his eyes looked sad, they were searching for something. Jeonghan sometimes wished he could give it to him, but wishing is right up there with hoping, and despite what Seungcheol thinks he wasn’t the one who was an idiot.

“What do you want Jeonghan.”

Was a question a question if they both knew the answer. He wanted his body back, his mind back, without another word Seungcheol leaned down until his lips were pressed against Jeonghan’s. Hands moving into action on instinct on memory, they knew where to go where to touch, memorized skin and sounds.

Nothing was tender here, not anymore, it ached and it hurt, but he was going to win. Seungcheol wasn’t soft, or gentle as clothes were ripped off his small frame, like everytime before. Pictures of pink walls and faded sofas played behind Jeonghan's closed eyes. Hotel rooms and heavy breathing as Seungcheol mouthed a new map onto his skin, the old ones burning as they became a thing of the past.

With every touch, he let claimed skin come undone. This was his choice, no one was going to take it from him again. He opened his eyes when Seungcheol spread his legs for all the times he had them shut. He let the feelings be uprooted as new ones took their place, with every intrusion his lungs filled with fire, they burned as his head went limp and his body responded to each touch, each moan Seungcheol pulled out of him. The names etched into his mind, the faces that haunt his dreams melted away with every kiss on his thigh, every touch on his body.

“Do you need me or did you just need someone? I know, I’m selfish but I need you to say it just once I need to hear you say it,” Seungcheol’s voice was shaky, dripping with lust and fear as he pulled his fingers out slowly. “I’ll give you anything, you can have anything just… please.”

He broke, almost surprised himself how easily. He knew when he looked back on this moment he would tie it all together as just a pretty lie to get what he wants. Part of the game they played, but Jeonghan knew he might have always known.

“I need you. I need you to fuck me until I can’t remember any of them, until the only thing that I can think about it you, and the feeling of you inside me. I need you to fuck me as hard and as much as I hate myself, I need you Seungcheol. And I know I don’t deserve it, I don’t deserve you but I need you to take this away from me because I can’t do this on my own.” He felt his cheeks grow wet, he didn’t want to think about how vulnerable he looked right now, how broken and damaged he truly was.

Seungcheol wasted no time giving Jeonghan what he wanted, with every thrust he let it go, he let everything go until the only thing that was left was Seungcheol. He emptied it out as best he could, he knew the demons wouldn’t stay at bay forever but at the moment he was in control, the fire that prickled at his skin burned but not as bad as before. His body was listening to him again, pleasure becoming stronger than the pain of memories.

He buried his face into Seungcheols neck, teeth sinking as he let himself be overtaken by pleasure. White spreading across his chest, replacing his vision as he repeated, _“I need you, I need you, I need you.”_ Words that meant so much in the heat of the moment, that meant so much inside this bedroom, inside these walls. Words that would mean so little in the light of day, with the cold reality stripping the warmth away.

  
They separated, the air filled with pants as the healthy distance between the two returned. They kept their gazes locked as the room filled with silence heavy and questioning, but Jeonghan knew how this would end before it even started, and somewhere deep down Seungcheol did too.

“I’m not ready to tell you everything that happened to me,” It was spoken so quietly that if Seungcheol wasn’t watching him he wouldn’t have been able to hear it. Seungcheol nodded, understanding as he reached out to hold Jeonghan’s hand in his.

“Seungcheol,” Jeonghan sighs rubbing his thumb over the olders hand, not meeting the fondness in his eyes. “You’re not in love with me.” 

Seungcheol didn’t respond, well not with his words as he closed his eyes, hand still clutching Jeonghan’s. Maybe in another life he could have let it be, could have kept the possibility alive but Choi Seungcheol was an angel, and Yoon Jeonghan was a devil. But devil or not sometimes we have to show a little mercy, so he tightened his grip around Seungcheol’s hand and let his eyes close, falling asleep to the memory of dimples and phone screens. ‘How to look someone in the eyes and pretend you’re not in love with them,’ in google search bars and toothy grins that make his stomach do back flips. But most importantly he fell asleep to the reminder that the devil doesn’t get nice things like angels and smiles, they get nothing good at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow!!! I hope Soonyoungs little thing, in the beginning, wasn't too confusing! Also GOD it took me forever to write the Jeongcheol part, I had to write and rewrite it a million times I really hope i'm getting their emotions across the way I want to! Anywhoo sorry this took so long, and also feedback is much appreciated! As always thank you for all the hits, comments, and kudo and Happy Reading <3333
> 
> Come yell at me @strawbhannie on Instagram or Twitter ;)


	11. The night that wouldn't end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got super dark and lowkey gore-ie? Idk maybe it's Halloween! I wrote this over the course of like two months so I'm sorry if it seems a little disconnected? My confidence in my writing has been going down severely but I'm still trying! Mentions of blood and lots of other gore stuff near the end so read with care.

“This is a horrible idea,” Wonwoo voiced for the nth time since the few of them were shoved into Seungcheol’s office. Wonwoo knew this was coming, Seungcheol is predictable, it’s the hero complex the need to ‘fix’ everything. Playing god often gets you in trouble.

“I think it’ll be fun,” Minghao smirked, absentmindedly tracing shapes into the palm of his hand with the tip of his pocket knife. The Chinese boy never failing to be ‘edgy.’

“You just like to kill people,” Vernon mumbled, still tapping away on his old laptop, the thing was chunky and covered in so many stickers it looked like the window of a soccer mom’s minivan.

“You’re not wrong,” Minghao smirked looking up from the intricate patterns he was sketching into his palm. Wonwoo could feel the eye roll coming before it happened. Mingyu says he has a problem, to which Wonwoo rolled his eyes at the taller.

“It’s not a horrible idea, it’s… shut up,”  Seungcheol said defensively as he continued to pace the length of his office.  Which he had been since the meeting started, it was almost beginning to make Wonwoo dizzy. 

“Oh, so that’s why you didn’t tell Jihoon about it?” Seungkwan asked faking innocence as he rested his head on Hansol’s shoulder. 

“Why are you here again?” Seungcheol stopped his pacing momentarily, enough to get his point across

“Hey! Just because Jeonghan stopped putting out doesn’t mean you have to be a little bitch, besides Junhui’s here and he doesn’t bring anything to the team either… well if you count being able to deep throat two dicks at once,”  Seungkwan shot a judgemental look in Junhui’s direction. 

“Is that even possible?” Hansol asked looking up from his work now fascinated by the prospects of Junhui’s flexible jaw and nonexistent gag reflexes. 

“Yes,” Wonwoo and Minghao answered in unison casually ignoring glances from the others in the room. Junhui just smiled proudly before stretching his arms over his head and curled back up on the couch between Minghao and Wonwoo.

“Everyone shut up, can we ever have one conversation that doesn’t include Junhui’s sex life,” Seungcheol rubbed his face tiredly. 

“You’re just grumpy because Jeonghan won’t let you hit it anymore,” Minghao added looking bored almost as he ran a hand through Junhui’s hair. 

Seungcheol shot daggers at him, “This isn’t about Jeonghan, just do your jobs!” 

“It’s always about Jeonghan,” Wonwoo smirked, before a pillow was chucked at his head. 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Joshua squirmed on the bed, wrists irritated from the ropes tied around them. “These uh, are pretty tight are you sure they’re absolutely necessary?” 

“You said I could practice techniques on you, no take-backsies Hong,” Jeonghan smirked something evil and dark, Joshua cursed himself when it went straight to his dick. 

“I-I did say that.. and you can, just are you sure everything’s alri-“ Joshua was cut short by the moan escaping his mouth when Jeonghan licked a strip up the inside of his thigh. 

The blonde had been edging him on for an hour now and almost every touch had him spiraling. “Of course I am why would I not be?” Jeonghan didn’t skip a beat as he began to mouth at Joshua’s dick through his boxers before he freed him from the constricting fabric. The American having to bite down on his lip hard to keep from screaming as Jeonghan went straight to work sucking him. 

“N-nothing we’ve just been ‘practicing’ a lot these few days and j-just with all the weird stuff going on between you and Seungcheol lately, I thought-“ 

Jeonghan pulled his mouth off Joshua’s dick so fast it made a pop, he never knew a noise could do so much damage to him. 

Joshua actually had no idea how this all started. Like most things involving Jeonghan, it’s a whirlwind. Everything all at once and then when he’s gone it’s complete emptiness, almost like he was never there to start with. Jeonghan had been messing around with Joshua for a week now, and there is no doubt it’s because of Seungcheol. The two either glare at each other when they’re in the same room or leave as soon as the other enters. 

“What do you mean stuff going on with me and Seungcheol? There is nothing going on with me and Seungcheol, why did he say there was?” Joshua frowned at the loss of contact as Jeonghan let go of his dick completely to integrate him. 

“N-no he didn’t say anything, it’s just you two have seemed weird lately and Seungkwan said something happened between you tw-” 

“That kid can never shut his mouth can he,” Jeonghan sighed dramatically getting off of the bed, “There is nothing wrong with me and Seungcheol!” 

“Wait! Jeonghan!” Joshua tried to sit up before the ropes pulled him back onto the bed, “A-at least untie me?” He ended up just yelling to a closed door, “Of course.” 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________   
  


The shitty fluorescent lights always made Jihoon’s eyes hurt, he opted to close them for a minute there wasn’t much to look at anyways. He felt more than saw Seungcheol buzzing beside him, the nervous energy falling off other older in waves that could have swept Jihoon away if he wasn’t being careful, he’s always careful.

“Cheol, are you alright?”

“Y-yeah just a lot on my mind…” 

Jihoon sighed, “Like Jeonghan.”

Seungcheol looked at him, eyes wide, “No not Jeonghan.” 

“Lying to me is pointless Cheol,” Jihoon ended the conversation knowing he wasn’t going to get any more out of him. Not like he really wanted to anyway, he has had enough of the Jeongcheol rollercoaster, the two always fighting or fucking it was irritating.

“Do you want me to go in with you?” Jihoon asked quietly, they were at the prison visiting Seungcheol’s father and even tho Jihoon has been like a member of his family since forever it always felt like he was intruding somehow. 

There were days where Seungcheol would simply say of course and Jihoon always felt something squeeze in his chest, nostalgia maybe, a feeling of belonging. Then there were other times, like today where Seungcheol would just seem off, those days he ended up waiting outside. 

Seungcheol’s father was complicated, even more so than his own son. The same man who used to let the two of them ride on the front of his motorcycle. The same man who gave them their first beer at the age of 14, the same man who took him in all those years ago. Jihoon always felt like he owed him something. 

“I think I’ll go alone today,” Seungcheol gave his hand a small squeeze and flashed a cheap excuse for a reassuring smile before Jihoon was left outside, staring at the same familiar gray door. 

_ “Jihoon, I thought I’d find you up here.” The thirteen-year-old was only slightly upset to be found out, he swore his hiding place was top notch. It was a good one, the kind of place no one would ever think to look because it was a spot no liked to go to. Worn down and ugly things tend to keep people away, Jihoon learned that at a young age.  _

_ “Seungcheol has been worried sick about you, the kid almost about lost his mind. You and my son sure got something special don’t you.” Jihoon ducked his head down further, he could feel the heat radiating off his cheeks. That’s not what his father meant, that's not what Seungcheol meant. Friends, a friendship was all it was but Jihoon couldn’t explain the weird floaty feeling in the pit of his stomach. The thirteen-year-old lifted his head slowly, nodding slightly when the man eyed the spot next to him. He didn’t want to talk, not now, maybe not ever. He didn’t have anything to say and words never came that easy to him anyway.  _

_ He had been a part of this life from the start, not like he had a choice being born into it and all. Parts of him always thought the way they lived was almost pointless. What was it truly about in the end, money, power. Jihoon could care less, in fact, that’s what most parts of him did anyways. Seungcheol, and his family, the only two things he cared about and he’s already lost one. Sometimes shitty things happen and a person decides to deny it, pretend everything is alright. Hides away somewhere because the pain of loss is just too much for a thirteen-year-old boy, who already had so little, too handle.  _

_ “I’m not gonna give you some speech about death and how everything will be alright. It’s not alright, what happened to your parents is not alright. Life is a shit show Jihoon, everyone is out for themselves, and the moment anything good comes along it gets taken away from us.  You wanted to know why your dad and I do this, why this is the kinda life we live. Because life isn’t kind, the world isn’t a nice place so you take what you need, you don’t wait for it to come to you, you make your own way, and when something good does come you hold onto it with everything you have and you fight for it till the very end. That’s what your father did, he fought till the very end. I know it hurts, but life isn’t going to sit and wait for it to get better, and it might not ever get better. But you have something you love, don’t you? Then get up, and fight, because you don’t know how to die quietly.”  _

_ Seungcheol was the only thing he had left, he didn’t even have to think about it, he never had to think about it. His cheeks felt wet and he quickly wiped them with his sleeve, he hated crying, especially in front of other people. He rose to his feet, pulling himself together with the will to fight alone, anger seeping in his small veins. Maybe this is how monsters are made.  _

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“If you’ve come to lecture me about alcohol poisoning again I don’t want to hear it.”  Jeonghan sighed turning his head to the sound of footsteps entering the kitchen. “Oh, I thought you were Chan.” 

“Does Chan lecture you about alcohol poisoning?” Mingyu smirked sitting on the stool slotting himself between Jeonghan’s legs as he was sitting on the counter. 

“For some reason, the little one seems to care,” Jeonghan sighed dramatically taking another sip from his glass. 

“We all care,” Mingyu reaches his hand up to take the glass away, Jeonghan lets him too tired to fight anyway.  Mingyu brings the glass to his nose and pulls a face, “What is this jet fuel.” 

Jeonghan laughs easily snatching the glass back to down the rest in one go, “Baby.” 

“You’ve drunk more alcohol this week alone than a whole college frat party, your liver is made out of iron.” 

“I don’t even drink that much,” Jeonghan put the now empty glass down slowly, watching to make sure he didn’t drop it. 

“So all those bottles over there aren’t from you?” Mingyu pointed to the overflowing recycling bin. “I’m surprised you haven’t kicked it yet.”

“If you’re here to lecture me you can fuck right off.”

“Are you drinking because of Seungcheol?” 

Jeonghan sighs moving his leg around Mingyu so he can hop off the counter, “There are millions of reasons for me to want to drink, and almost none of them have to do with Seungcheol.” 

“Almost? So there are a few?” Mingyu smirks leaning his chin on the counter. 

“I like it better when you play dumb,” Jeonghan scowled at him before ducking to the cabinets under the counter to grab another bottle of his favorite wine, a few steps down from what he was drinking before but he figured Mingyu could handle this better as he poured two glasses for them.

“I don’t think you need any more,” Mingyu frowned worriedly. 

“Shut up and drink,” Jeonghan slid the glass over, already pressing his own to his lips to take a sip. “Speaking of Mr. Hero complex where is he anyway? I haven’t seen him all day.” 

“He’s off with Jihoon somewhere is saw the two leave a while ago,” Mingyu eyed his glass for a second before taking a drink. Jeonghan didn’t know if it was the alcohol that made him annoyed at the idea of Seungcheol and Jihoon together or something else, he was going to blame the alcohol anyway.

“What's with those two anyway,” Jeonghan already knew what was going on between them, well on the surface. The two were close, like family almost and Jeonghan liked to blissfully pretend that's all it was. But sometimes he wondered what goes on under the surface, behind office doors and secret meetings.  

“Tragic backstories and height differences,” Jeonghan laughed and Mingyu smiled flashing his pretty canines.  Before the two could continue Wonwoo and Minghao came trudging through the door with Junhui following close behind, and Jeonghan thought he saw a flash of Vernon and Seungkwan heading up the stairs. 

“Where have you been?” Mingyu asks, but Jeonghan couldn’t tell if it was directed to Minghao or Wonwoo, he’s too drunk to really pay attention to detail right now. 

“Just having a little fun,” Minghao smirks, Jeonghan notices now the big black duffle bag that looks a little lumpy, and almost as if something is moving inside of it. But it’s gone before he can look closer as Minghao drags it through the back door to the basement. 

“Is that blood?” Jeonghan asks casually as he takes another sip from his drink, letting it sit in his mouth a moment before he swallows, red liquid, red blood. 

Wonwoo looks down and sighs, “This is my favorite sweater,” Junhui is already padding across the kitchen to wet a cloth with cold water before Jeonghan could even suggest it. 

“Thanks, kitten,” Wonwoo smiles softly at Junhui who begins to dab at the stain on his sweater, making a small noise of acknowledgment as he goes. Jeonghan wants to tell Junhui to soak the sweater in cold water instead of dabbing it and to use dish detergent but he’s too jumbled up to get words out properly.

“What did you guys do,” is what comes out instead. 

“Seungcheol wanted us to take care of something for him, don’t worry too much Hannie,” Wonwoo says with as much reassurance as he deep voice can make. Jeonghan lets the two leave before he chugs the rest of his drink. 

“Asshole.” 

“Who? Wonwoo?” Mingyu asks sounding almost offended.

“No Seungcheol, stupid idiot acting like some gang boss, sending people to do his dirty work likes some kinda...ugh, whatever I lost my train of thought I need a drink.” 

“No no no, how about we go upstairs,” Mingyu says standing up and taking the empty wine glass out of his hands and holding them instead, they’re warm and soft and a lot bigger than Jeonghan’s. 

“I don’t want too,” Jeonghan hiccups. 

Mingyu smiles pulling him towards the stairs, “Hannie you’re drunk.” 

“And you’re pretty,” Jeonghan smiles letting himself be dragged up the stairs. 

“Okay, let’s get you to bed.” 

“Oh wait, we can’t go to my room, Joshua is tied to my bed.” 

“I don’t even want to ask.” 

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Chan has been called many things in his life, stupid, reckless, headstrong, stubborn. Most of the time it doesn’t bother him too much, he has enough confidence in himself to easily glide through any of his decisions, so why is this one giving him a migraine. 

It’s not that big of a deal, for christ sake man up Chan. The nineteen-year-old fed up of waiting finally decided to climb the gate, not before flicking off the camera. The gate began to open mid climb as he was hanging onto it.

“Thanks, assholes,”  he sighs jumping down from the gate and straightening his jacket before making his way up the small steps to the solid mahogany doors, which open as soon as he gets close. 

The familiar face greeting him warmly, “Mr. Lee, welcome back.” Chan smiles warmly bowing his head slightly, “Thank you, Doyeon, it’s nice to see you again.” 

The interaction is short as Doyeon closes the door and disappears back to his duties, Chan lets out a deep breath looking at walls that never felt welcoming to him, the familiar chandelier and large paintings on the wall that accompany the grand double staircase. This house has always made him feel small. 

He heads up the stairs, knowing which creaky steps to skip so he wouldn’t make any noise. Not that it would make difference, there is no way he could get in and out without being caught, but maybe that's what he wanted.

He was halfway down the long hall when two hands grabbed him pulling him into one of the small pockets that lined the hallway to display art and statues. 

“What the fuc-” Chan’s words were muffled by hand over his mouth, he turned quickly in his attackers grasp only to be met by a familiar face. 

“Yeah, what the fuck are you doing here!” Haechan yelled in a low voice slowly removing his hand.

“In my own home?” Chan said sarcastically, Haechan rolled his eyes in response, the distance between them was barely there as their chest were pressed together as Chan was boxed in against the wall. 

“You know what I mean Channie.” 

“Haechan,” A voice called down the hall making them both jump, Haechan slowly put his hand to his lips to tell Chan to be quiet as he casually walked into the hallway.  

“He wants to see you in his office,” the voice said once Haechan was in sight, he nodded responding with a quick “I’ll be right there.” He waited until the hall was empty before looking back at Chan, “Go to your room, I’ll come find you.” He leaned a quick peck on Chan’s lips starting to walk away ignoring Chan’s protests. Haechan shot him a quick begging gesture with his hands before he was gone around the corner. 

Chan groaned trying to sort his thoughts out, he isn’t exactly sure why he showed up anyway. Of course, he missed his dumb boyfriend but maybe it was also something he said that last time they met. He has been giving information for so long now it’s nothing new, but just the way haechan said not to worry last time has made him do nothing but worry. He lets the curious part get the best of him as he is speed walking down the hallway in the same direction Haechan went, further away from his room. 

He knows where he is going, memories of running down these halls as a small child with Haechan play in his mind and he feels something heavy in his chest. He pushes them back as he reaches the two closed doors, he quietly approached them placing his ear up against the cold wood to listen. 

“How is the plan moving along Haechan,” Chan heard the familiar voice still as deep as he remembers even through the door.

“Accordingly Kijung sir, everything is in motion at the prison.” Prison? Chan thinks about Haechan asking about Seungcheol going to visit his father and something twists inside his gut. 

“Wonderful, thank you.”

“Chan was a big part of the success of the plan, without his intel we wouldn’t know when to strike,” Chan straightens up at the sound of his name from Haechan’s mouth. 

“Is that so? Then would my son like to join us,” Chan doesn’t have time to process before the doors open and he stumbles into the room. The look on Haechan’s face is one of anger and fear. 

“Hello son,” Kijung smiles at Chan and he fills a chill run down his spine as he straightened himself. 

“Father.” The two stared each other down and Chan was instantly back to the small timid child he used to be, lost under the enormous shadow of his father. 

“Clear the room, I’d like to catch up with my son alone.” Chan saw Haechan shoot him a quick look before he exited the room along with everyone else. Chan shook away the fear in the pit of his stomach and made himself tall, trying to fake as much confidence as he could. 

“So my dear son how have you been.”

“What plan? What are you going to do at the prison, are you attacking Seungcheol?” Chan walked over sitting across from his father in one of the plush chairs. His father regarded him slowly taking a long drag of his cigar before blowing the smoke in Chan’s face. 

“There's so much of your mother in you,” Chan winces at his words, he doesn’t want to be reminded of his mother not now, not when he is like this. Chan doesn’t say anything just hold his stare hoping this once his father won’t brush him off.

“Why? Are you worried about him?” Chan knew his father was testing him, but he wanted to know. His father always had a way of dragging him around and keeping him in the dark. 

“Are you going to hurt Seungcheol?” 

“No, where with the fun be if I killed my toy before I finish playing with him.” 

Chan felt his blood run cold at his father's words, everyone in his life is just a toy he can use for his own enjoyment. That’s the problem with money, power, it goes to your head turns you sick. “What happens when you finish playing with all of your toys.”  _ What happens when you finish playing with me.  _

His father smiled at him something too sweet for the tone of their conversation as he stood from his chair walking around his desk to lean on the front of it, right next to his son. He reached his hand out gently cupping his son's cheeks, Chan hated the comfort he felt in the touch, the longing. “My son are you scared of me?” His father forcefully tilted his face so he was looking him in the eye. “You have nothing to be scared of, everything I do is for you.” 

Chan let himself relax for the smallest of moments before he caught himself and stood from his chair, creating a distance between his father and himself. “I-I have to go, I came to see Haechan,” he began walking to the door.

“And here I thought you were coming home to see your father,” Chan kept his head down. “You and Haechan seem to be awfully close.” Chans feet stopped as he turned to look at his father. 

“Of course, .....he is my best friend,” Chan felt his heart beat quickly in his ears. 

His father made a small noise of acknowledgment in the back of his throat, “Then I’m glad I picked him for you.” There it was, another reminder that everything Chan had was only because his father allowed him too, he only breathed because his father allowed him too. Chan nodded his head turning to leave closing the door gently behind him.

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Hao, I think he’s had enough,” Wonu sighs leaning back on Junhui who was perched up on one of the counters.

“Yeah?” Minghao looks down at the guy expertly tied to the chair, “Junnie what do you think, you think this scum bag has had enough?” Minghao lifted his head up roughly by his hair causing a sharp hiss to leaves his busted lips. 

“No, but Cheollie will be mad if you take all the fun away before he gets back,” Minghao sighs knowing Jun is right and letting the man's head fall. “Do you think we prepped enough, you know how Cheol like to get creative, and he’s always so messy,” Minghao sighs thinking of the last time they had to clean up. 

“Yeah. We laid down enough tarps, they should soak up most the blood,” Wonwoo said casually, smiling at the little kisses Junhui was placing on his neck. 

“Look, I don’t know what you people want but I’ll give you anything, what do you want money? Drugs? Prostitutes?” The man began, fear in his voice as it shook.  

The three share amused looks laughing, “No unfortunately for you we already own all those things, besides it’s not up to us what happens to you, we’re just doing what we're told.” Wonwoo smirks walking over and tipping the mans chair backward, leaning his face in close.  

“Who are you working for, you’re just kids look if you’re in trouble I can help you just let me go and I will help you, and I can double what you’re getting now, triple it even.”  

Wonwoo, let go of his chair letting him hit the floor, a pained moan coming from the man. His words took Wonwoo off guard, he’s never fully thought about the fact that they are really only kids, in their early twenties, all still so young. 

“Hao Hao, punch him he made Wonu upset!” Junhui commands.

Minghao smiles, “Yes sir.” 

“Wait, wait, wait-” The man groaned in pain loudly as Minghao got two punches in before picking the chair up roughly. The man spits out blood letting his head hang down. 

Wonwoo gave Junhui a reassuring smile and grabbed the hand he extended to him, he rubbed his thumb across his knuckles placing a quick kiss on the soft skin. “There is nothing you have that we want, you hurt two of our own and now you’re going to pay for what you’ve done, it’s as simple as that.” 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

“Solie,” Seungkwan whispered as Hansol’s eyes fluttered open. Seungkwan knew Hansol was struggling, especially after he helped Minghao and Wonwoo track down their newest victim. Sometimes when too many bad things happen Hansol tends to go away, Seungkwan finds the best way to bring him back is with time and lots of forehead kisses. 

He dragged Hansol up to their room as soon as they got back, already wanting to erase the images and sounds from his boyfriend's mind. He quickly pulled some chairs together and made a makeshift pillow fort in their room, filling it to the brim with soft blankets and pillows some he stole from Junhui and Mingyu’s room. He threw some fairy lights up inside and played one of those lo-fi playlists Hansol seemed to like so much before coaxing his boyfriend inside and wrapping him up in blankets.

“What are you thinking about,” Seungkwan asked quietly, his nose barely touching Hansol’s as they laid beside each other. 

“Do you know anything about the man Seungcheol works for?” 

“No, Cheol doesn’t talk about it, says it’s safer that way.” 

“I'm not positive, but I think the man Hao killed is connected to him somehow like maybe he was one of his dogs.” They both knew what that could mean for the future if Hansol was right, and the air turned cold with fear. They were quiet, the low beats melting into the night. “I think we're bad people Kwannie.” 

Seungkwan was quiet for a moment trying to think of the right words to say. “I think good and bad can’t be defined that easily, I think everyone is just trying to survive.” 

“So you don’t think I’m bad.” 

Seungkwan shook his head and propped himself up on his elbow to properly look at the boy he loved, his soft honey hair and long eyelashes. He ran his fingers gently over Hansol’s face, tracing every detail. “You’re not bad Solie, you’re just...Hansol.” 

Hansol smiles when Seungkwan leans down to kiss him and Seungkwan thinks he tastes like peaches and the universe and all the things they’re so scared of. He leans in again, tasting more, hands slowly enclosing around his waist as Hansol pulls him close, bodies flushed against one another. They make out lazily, lips moving in time with the soft beats of the music, “I love you’s” slipping out here and there. 

Clothes came off quickly as hands retraced limbs that have already been memorized a thousand times over. Seungkwan was convinced the heavens made Hansol just for him the way their bodies always fit so well together, like two halves of a whole. They were slow and gentle savoring every bit of skin, every freckle and curve, every scar and bump. The two always had a way of slowing time down, of making it stop just for them. The world outside their room was still moving, still passing by dark and unforgiving, but in their fort, it was just Seungkwan and Hansol, no fear that sat in their bellies. The universe was jealous, every day threatening to take away the foreverness the two had promised one another, but in their fort, there was nothing but an infinite amount of love that seemed to stretch on and on. 

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“You look like shit.”

Seungcheol laughed airy and free of the tension he felt before as his father sat across the table from him. “You too old man.” 

It was good, obviously it wasn’t great, but in their life just being alive and able to speak face to face was good. “How have you been, are you alright you look so tired, are you managing?” 

“Yeah, I’m good, what about you, you’re the one in this hell hole. They’re feeding you properly right?” 

His father eyed him, always trying to break past his mask, see the real him. “I’m fine, I’m fine. I can take care of myself it’s you I’m worried about. We can get you out of this, I know a guy he-” 

“No dad, no more shitty plans they backfire and people get hurt.” 

“What you mean no, I’m sick of sitting here and watching my son pay for my sins.”

“Dad I’m managing, besides I got people I care about out here, a few actually. I can’t let anything happen to them we’re all trying to keep our heads up, as crappy as they are let's not poke holes in our lifeboats.” 

“When you’d get so smart,” His father reached out and grabbed his hand gently running his thumb across the top. 

“Mom,” His father laughed, and sadness swirled around his chest, “I miss her.” 

“Me too kiddo,” His father gave his hand a light squeeze before pulling away. “Tell me about these people you care about, you find yourself a pretty little guy.” 

Seungcheol rolled his eyes, “We’re not doing this,” He laughed getting interrupted by the guard coming in to tell him their time was up.  He hid his frown behind a straight face giving his dad a nod as he stood up, promising to come back soon.

Seungcheol stood watching the guard take his father back away behind the two-way glass in the small door. He watched before the air was knocked out of his lungs. Seungcheol opened his mouth to scream but nothing came out as he watched two other inmates jump his father, metal pipe in hand. His sense kicked back into him as he watched, banging the door yelling as the guard did nothing but watch. They hit him over and over and Seungcheol could even hear the sounds of bones cracking. Hot tears run down his cheek as anger surged in his stomach. The guard finally pushed the other two inmates off and lifted his father from the ground. He was bloody and badly injured, maybe a broken rib and his legs were definitely broken, but he was still breathing at least. When he was dragged out of few one of the inmates came up to the window smiling disgustingly at Seungcheol, he felt bile rise in the back of his throat.

“Kijung wanted to send you a message about what’s his, you take one of his out again we finish what we started.” 

Seungcheol punched the glass, “I didn’t take anything from him! You touch him again and I’ll kill you!” 

“Now now now, that kinda talk isn’t very nice, it might just get your father another broken rib,” The inmate laughed as he walked away and Seungcheol sunk to the ground shaking violently. He felt so helpless and confused, there was so much anger in his stomach he couldn’t contain it. He held his head in hands trying to slow his breathing down, he needs to calm down. For his father's sake, for everyone's sake. He spent the next two minutes trying to compose himself to go back out and face Jihoon, his mind going 30 miles a minute. 

~

The ride home was quiet, Seungcheol had shut himself off completely, too much anger seeping through his veins to make any rational decision, he thought it was safer to let go until he could let it out. 

“Cheol are you alright, you’ve been weird ever since the prison,” Jihoon asked placing a hand on his shoulder.

Seungcheol nudged it off, “I’m fine just a long day, you should get some rest,” he didn’t give Jihoon the chance to responded as he went straight out to the basement punching in the code and locking the door behind him. Wonwoo and Minghao looked up from their conversation at Seungcheol, the younger two straightened up at seeing the state their boss was in.

“Did you handle the others?” Wonwoo and Minghao noded standing to the side. Seungcheol walked straight over and landed punch after punch to the man without warning, letting out all the anger until the chair fell over the man’s head slumped to the side. 

Seungcheol sighed pushing his sleeves up his arm, “Wake him up.” 

Minghao sat his chair back up while Wonwoo searched the table for something he could use, he picked up the taser shrugging as he held it to the man's neck. “Ah, there we go, wakey wakey.” He smiled as the man jerked back to consciousness twitching in his chair. 

“Look,” The man coughed up blood shaking with every breathless word that left his mouth, “I don’t know you want with me but I can give you anything you wan-”

“Shut the fuck up,” Seungcheol spoke with so much hate dripping from each word, Wonwoo and Minghao jumped. He walked to the man pulling up a chair to sit across from him, “You know what I want, I want to fucking have one thing, one nice thing. I’m sick and tired of fighting and clawing my way for every little thing and to still have it taken right in front of my eyes while all I can do is watch. You can give me that huh?” 

“U-uh n-no but I can give you-” 

“You do have something I want.” Seungcheol’s voice was dark as he stood and grabbed the man by the throat, pressing his nails into the trembling skin. 

“A-anything,” The man choked out, terror in his voice his eyes.

“I want  to watch the blood leave your pathetic body, then I want my guys to cut you up into tiny pieces, so you become completely unrecognizable, then I want them to put you in the landfill where you will rot like the trash and filth you are.”  

The man began to shake and Seungcheol tightened his grip, “You hurt people I care very deeply for, and for that your life will end tonight.” 

“I’ve never hurt anyone, I-” The man’s eyes grew wide in realization, “Oh the two sluts? This is what this is all about,” Seungcheol clenched his fists looking up at Wonwoo who nodded holding the taser back to his neck watching the man twitch and jerk. 

The man began pleading and apologizing, “Look it was just an eye for an eye ya know!”

“You laid your nasty hands on something precious to me, did you enjoy touching him?” Seungcheol leaned in grabbing the man by his hair tightly.

“I didn’t know, I would have never touched him if I knew he was yours!” 

Seungcheol laughed bitterly shoving a rag in the man's mouth to keep him quiet.“Jeonghan doesn’t belong to anyone. Minghao do you think you could do something about these?” Seungcheol lifts the man’s tied hands before dropping them again. 

Minghao smiled, “Gladly, He picked up a large machete from the table, “Wonu can you help me out.” Wonwoo walked over grabbing the man’s tied arms holding them out so his wrists were pressed together. Then man began to thrash muted pleas coming from his mouth. 

“You’re just gonna make it worse if you keep moving,” Wonwoo said right before Minghao gracefully took off both appendages with one swoop of his hand. The man’s screams were muffled by the rag as blood ran onto the ground, he quickly blacked out from the pain head falling limply to the side.  

Seungcheol sighed, “Pathetic, wake him up,” Wonwoo tased him again until the man woke up, barely conscious from the lack of blood.  “You disgust me,” Seungcheol grabbed his face holding it between both his hands, it was bloody and barely unrecognizable but Seungcheol looked him dead in the eyes, “You did this to yourself. Wonu, Minghao, he’s all yours enjoy.” 

Seungcheol headed out letting Minghao and Wonwoo have their fun, he knew the two had their own reasons to want to end the guy, for Mingyu’s sake. In the morning it would look like nothing had happened,  no trace of blood, or of anyone ever being there. Wonwoo and Minghao were good at what they do, too good. 

Seungcheol felt the adrenaline pumping through his veins, and anger there was so much anger. He walked into the kitchen and straight to the sink, staring at the water as it washed the blood off his hands. He splashed some on his face breathing out deeply. He drunk, he thought it would help but it wasn’t so he drunk some more, he drunk enough until it didn’t matter that it wasn’t helping.

He finally made it up the stairs and almost to his room, but the devil loves his games. Jeonghan was in the hallway oversized shirt that barely covered his ass. He was a little drunk that much was clear as he was coming out of Mingyu’s room. The two stared at each other, it was heavy like a weight pressing down on his shoulders. In seconds he had the blonde pressed against the wall knee between his legs as he shoved his tongue down Jeonghan’s throat, bodies reconnecting making up for all the lost time.

“This doesn’t mean anything, there’s nothing going on between us despite what everyone thinks.” Jeonghan gasped between kisses, even drunk and half naked he still had to have the upper hand, control over the situation. 

“Shut up, Jeonghan,” Seungcheol growled letting his hand go under Jeonghan’s shirt to his crotch, gliding his fingers over the bulge in Jeonghan’s boxers before he gripped it roughly. The sweetest moan escaping the angel’s pretty lips. “I don’t care what this is, why should I when you spread your legs for everyone who calls your pretty.” Jeonghan gasped letting his head fall back onto the wall with a thud. 

“Someone is nasty tonight,” Jeonghan lifts his head up bumping foreheads with Seungcheol leaning in to kiss him slowly, before holding his lip between his teeth and biting hard enough to draw blood.

Seungcheol hissed slamming Jeonghan into the wall, hard enough to make him let go but not enough to really hurt him. “You fucking bitch,” Seungcheol picked Jeonghan up as the blonde wrapped his legs around his waist, the two were back to roughly making out as soon as their lips connected. Seungcheol stumbling the short distance to Jeonghan’s room opening the door with one hand. The two briefly pulled apart hearing a small noise.

“Oh, I forgot about Shua,” Is all Jeonghan said in a way of an explanation. The American tied to the bed stared at them with wide eyes as Jeonghan smiled devilishly, “This could be fun.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why I ended it with the idea of a threesome??? So um let me know if you hated this so I can never do it again! Thanks!


	12. Secret secrets are no fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secret secrets hurt someone

 “So are you going to explain why Joshua is tied to your bed,” Joshua watched as Seungcheol had Jeonghan pinned against the wall, his large hands easily holding the smaller boy like he weighed nothing. 

“Speaking of Joshua, he would like to be untied please,” he tired, tho was completely ignored. 

“I don’t have to explain anything to you,” Jeonghan spits back eyes dark and full of lust. Joshua held his breath as the two stared each other down. 

“I’ve had to pee for like an hour now,” Joshua tried a little louder hoping they would turn to look at him.

“You know what, you don’t need to explain anything to me, I get it, always need something to play with, something to use like the little slut you are.” Seungcheol’s words were slurred and angered as he gripped Jeonghan tighter, mouth trailing small kisses up his neck. 

“G-guys,” He swallowed down the lump in his throat. Joshua was in a trance, it was like he had been granted access inside a world he’s only been able to see from the outside. Seungcheol and Jeonghan have always pulled him in, even now drunk and angry he wanted nothing more than to be noticed by them, to be allowed inside. Jeonghan moaned at the way Seungcheol was talking down to him and Joshua never heard anything so beautiful in his entire life. 

“Why? Are you jealous that I don’t need you to keep my bed warm?” Seungcheol pulled away looking down at Jeonghan, hands still keeping him in place. “You shouldn’t be, there’s nothing here, absolutely nothing.”

“U-uh guys maybe we should unite me and cool off,” Joshua couldn’t look away it was almost like watching a horrible wreck, the two were hurting each other it was a game he wasn’t apart of, didn't understand but god he wanted to. For a second Joshua could see a hint of something real on both of their faces, a line that crossed the game they were playing. 

“Maybe you two should get some rest before you say something you really don’t mean, plus it’s late and we all should really be getting rest. So maybe we coul-“

Seungcheol sighed loudly letting go of Jeonghan as he walked over to Joshua, it only took a second for Seungcheol to pull himself out of his pants before Joshua was staring at his painfully hard dick. He felt his mouth start to water, and if he wasn’t tied up he would have pinched himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming.

“You talk too much, here make your mouth useful another way,” And before he knew it Joshua had Seungcheols dick shoved down his throat. He let it sit on his tongue as he tried to regain control over his body, his heart pounding in his chest. 

Joshua began to suck, putting his heart into it and bobbing his head back and forth the best he could in the angle he was at. He felt the bed dip and two hands on his thighs that he assumed were Jeonghan’s.

“Shua here is actually quite needy, he loves having something in his mouth don’t you?”

Joshua moaned loudly, drool dripping from his chin as he tried to shove all of Seungcheol into his mouth. He knew what was happening, saw it in the way the two pulled apart, they hurt each other and instead of dealing with their issues they’re distracting themselves. 

Joshua’s mother used to do that when things got bad, she would bake cookies and ignore the big purple bruise on her son's stomach.

At that moment in time, Joshua didn’t care if he was their  _ cookies _ , he didn’t care if he was just some cheap drunk fuck to let them forget about their real problems. He just wanted them so bad, he hadn’t had a single drink but he was already so drunk off their touches as Jeonghan began to trail kisses down the inside of Joshua’s thigh.

“For someone so pretty, I'd thought you’d be better at this,” Joshua’s shoulders slouched at the comment. What if he isn't good enough to be with them.  He knows his blow job game is only subpar, but he hasn’t had a lot of real practice, his clients usually just want to fuck him and honestly, he didn’t think it was that bad.

“Don’t worry Joshua, you’re not bad at sucking dick, Cheollie is just used to me,” Jeonghan smirked up at Seungcheol and the older rolled his eyes.  “Here I’ll help you, copy me,” Jeonghan pulled Joshua free from his boxers in a second and took his whole length in with one go and Joshua felt his breath hitch. It was actually a lot harder trying to ignore the pleasure he was feeling so he could focus on what Jeonghan was doing, it took a second but soon he was able to copy what he was feeling. 

He closed his eyes as Jeonghan began to suck the tip letting his tongue greedily lick up all the pre-come. Joshua moaned the vibrations causing Seungcheol to throw his head back. Joshua wasted no time repeating the same thing to Seungcheol, reveling in the way he heard the older suck his breath in. 

“Fuck that’s better,” Seungcheol ran his hand through Joshua’s hair pulling at the ends. Joshua sucked deeper as he felt Jeonghan do the same, paying attention to his balls as well. He took him as deep as he could and swallowed a few times just like Jeonghan was doing to him, he felt like his heart was gonna burst when he heard Seungcheol moan and he was the reason why. Joshua made it his life mission to make Seungcheol make that sound again. 

The pace Jeonghan set was brutal and Joshua didn’t think he could keep up, and he really couldn’t especially when Seungcheol grabbed two fist fulls of Joshua’s hair and began to fuck his soft mouth. “Fuck you really do take it well don’t you.” 

Joshua felt his whole body go limp as the pleasure took over, between Jeonghan sucking the life out of him and Seungcheol using his mouth like that, he was barely able to hold on. “Cheollie,” Jeonghan said as pulled away from Joshua, wiping the drool from his mouth, “I don’t think he will be able to keep up at this rate, maybe we should speed this up a little.” 

Seungcheol groans as he slows down and pulls out of Joshua, the American whining at the lack of contact. He squirmed on the bed pulling on his restraints as Jeonghan and Seungcheol began to move away from him. He wanted them so much closer, hands and mouths on his body.  Joshua watched as Jeonghan pulled Seungcheol onto the bed, easily climbing on top of him as the two older began to make out. There was a closeness there that Joshua had never seen before, one he could only hope to know one day. There were hands and mouths everywhere almost like the two were scared that if they pulled away for a second they would never see each other again. 

Joshua was so lost in watching the two he jumped when they pulled apart to look at him, clothes now gone. “I think we should untie him, it would be more fun that way.” Seungcheol nodded as he crawled across the bed to Joshua, slowly untying his wrist, not before he rubbed them and gently placed a kiss on the deep red marks. Joshua felt his heart expand in his chest as he felt warm all over. He took all the courage he had at that moment and leaned in, relieved when Seungcheol returned his kiss. Arms slid underneath him and before he knew it he was lying on his back, Seungcheol hovering over him as their mouths stayed connected. The kisses were deep and made Joshua feel light headed, but he held onto Seungcheol tighter, pulling himself as close as he could to the older. 

Joshua frowned when Seungcheol pulled away, a soft noise leaving his mouth. “So needy aren’t you,” Seungcheol laughed airy and light, the smell of alcohol on his breath ghosting Joshua’s nose.  “I’m gonna fuck you till you can’t walk, bet you’d like that huh?” 

Joshua moaned, hips grinding up to meet Seungcheol’s. “Want me to fuck you senseless while Hannie ride’s you?” Joshua swore to God his brain malfunctioned just thinking about what Seungcheol was proposing. He went into autopilot as he saw Jeonghan pull out the lube from his nightstand and condoms. He watched as Jeonghan helped Seungcheol put his on, pouring some lube onto his dick and giving it a few pumps. The two older kept their eyes locked the entire time and Joshua could almost feel their connection by just watching them. 

Jeonghan tuned to him, “We’re not going to fast are we Shua?” Jeonghan’s voice was sweet as he circled Joshua’s heat with his finger, pressing in slightly. Joshua gasped as the slight intrusion as Jeonghan slid his finger all the way in. 

“We need an answer,” Seungcheol said from where he was placing kisses on Jeonghan’s neck and lazily stroking his dick. 

“N-no not to fast,” Joshua didn’t have time to feel embarrassed at the lack of structure his sentences had before Jeonghan added another finger increasing his speed. Joshua moaned pushing down on Jeonghan’s fingers wanting more.

“Look at you, do you really want Seungcheol’s dick that bad?” Jeonghan smirked as he added another finger, scissoring them to stretch him out faster. Joshua couldn’t nod his head faster as Seungcheol laughed pulling away from Jeonghan. 

“Let’s not keep him waiting then,” He pulled Joshua by his thighs until he was flat on his back, legs spread on either side of Seungcheol. Jeonghan crawling up to give him little kisses on the lips. 

Kissing Jeonghan was nothing like kissing Seungcheol it was softer, somehow it had more control. Joshua held his breath as Seungcheol began to push in. “Relax baby,” Jeonghan cooed in his ear. 

Joshua closed his eyes as he tried to focus on the kisses Jeonghan was giving him, the sensations all blending together making him feel hot all over. He let out the breath he was holding as Seungcheol began to move, so slowly. Jeonghan climbed onto Joshua, laying down so their chests were pressed together. Seungcheol moaned deep in the back of his throat as he adds more lube before he helped guide Joshua inside. Jeonghan gasping as he pushed back taking Joshua all the way in.

“You two look so fucking hot,” Seungcheol kissed Jeonghan’s back before giving his ass a little smack. Jeonghan yelping, a smirk on his lips as he teasingly shook his ass at Seungcheol.

The two began to move slow and awkward at first while they tried to find an okay rhythm. They began to pick up speed and Joshua swore it was a religious experience. The way Seungcheol gripped his thighs hard enough to leave bruises as he slammed into him. The way Jeonghan felt so warm and tight around him caused moan after moan to escape Joshua’s mouth. He swore the three were being so loud but he was already too fucked out to care.

Jeonghan grabbed his chin, turning his head to make out sloppily as he tried to rock himself back and forth on Joshua’s dick. Every thrust from Seungcheol causing him to push deeper into the blonde.

“Don’t hold back, Jeonghan likes it rough.” Jeonghan moaned loudly at Seungcheol words and Joshua could have come undone right there.

Jeonghan whined and squirmed trying to push back more onto Joshua. “Look at this cock slut.” Seungcheol grabbed Jeonghan by his throat pulling him so his back was against his chest. “You love being filled don’t you, love being used like this.” 

Jeonghan threw his head back on Seungcheol’s shoulder, whines and moans coming out of his mouth as he nodded his head. Seungcheol tightened his hand around Jeonghan’s throat as he kept his brutal pace making Joshua moan. 

“Are you gonna be a good little slut and come untouched, just using Joshua’s dick to get off on?” 

Joshua watched Jeonghan's whole body shiver and he felt the heat rise in his gut. He began to move his own hips up and down, slamming into Jeonghan. Now being the one to want to make him come, to see Jeonghan moan and twitch. 

“Look at you Hannie, so beautiful, doing the only thing your good at. Being a cock warmer. Come on Show Shua what a dirty little slut you are,” With that Jeonghan came hard, head thrown back and moaning loudly as he covered Joshua’s chest with white ropes. His body twitching as he shook through his orgasm eyes rolling into the back of his head. 

Joshua moaned as he felt Seungcheol slam into him hard before finishing inside. The feeling and the sight of Yoon Jeonghan having an orgasm was enough to push him over the edge, as he came hard, eyesight going white as he began to shake and fill Jeonghan. Seungcheol let go of Jeonghan helping him to lay back down on Joshua as the two pant trying to catch their breath. 

“Don’t move,” He head Seungcheol instruct as he slowly pulled out and climbed off the bed. Joshua was impressed when he kept himself from whining at the loss of warmth. He heard the door open and close quietly and then he was alone with Jeonghan still feeling floaty from the intense orgasm he just had. He took the chance and glanced down at the older, eyes closed as his eyelashes fluttered delicately, Joshua carefully pushed the bangs out of his eyes as he watched him. Jeonghan was truly beautiful in a way that words couldn’t even describe.

Joshua snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of the door opening as Seungcheol walked back in now wearing boxers, warm washcloths in his hands. He helped get Jeonghan off of Joshua cleaning him up and lying him in the middle of the bed. “Jeonghan has the alcohol tolerance of a 50-year-old Irish man, but he does have a limit….. eventually.”

Joshua watched Seungcheol brush the hair from his forehead, he really does look at Jeonghan like some precious thing. Joshua looked away, feeling like he is intruding somewhere he doesn’t belong. He cleans himself up beginning to grab his clothes. 

“You can stay, you should stay.” Seungcheol looked up at him, a warm lazy smile on his face that made Joshua feel light headed.

He wasn’t going to let this opportunity slip out of his hands, as he crawled back into bed on the other side of Jeonghan. “Thank you,” he smiled shyly, blush turning his ears red, “You were…..good.”

Seungcheol laughed leaning over the passed out Jeonghan to reach his lips pulling him into a kiss, “So were you.” 

Joshua smiled when he pulled away, lying down quickly to hide his blush in the sheets. The warm fuzzy feeling swarming around his head. Seungcheol leaned down and placed a kiss on Jeonghan's head, watching the other sleep.

“Doesn’t Jeonghan have a no overnight rule?” Joshua asked quietly after Seungcheol turned the lights off. 

“He’s already broken it once, he can do it again,” Seungcheol snorted through his nose. He wrapped his arms around Jeonghan letting his hands find Joshua to pull him in as well.

“You...really love him don’t you?”

Seungcheol sighs and Joshua gets it, “Sadly.”

“I’m sorry,” Joshua knew how Seungcheol was feeling, maybe not to an extent but he had an understanding and when it comes to Yoon Jeonghan that was enough.

“Yeah me too.” 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

“Why so glum Jihoonie,” Soonyoung smiled at the eye roll he was already expecting. 

The younger glared at him before slouching more into his chair. Soonyoung couldn’t help but tease the younger, just something about bothering him and seeing how cute he got when he was annoyed. 

“You’re not talking this morning? Fine, I can talk enough for the both of us. I can talk about the weather ooorrr I can talk about what I had for breakfast or what Junhui had for breakfast, he was eating-“ 

“Shut up! God, what do you want?” Jihoon exasperated throwing his hands in the air and looking away from his laptop. 

“A good morning,” Soonyoung smiled big at the reaction he got from the little man.

“Good morning, dick.” 

“I mean if you want,” Soonyoung had a shitface grin as he put his arm around the smaller only for it to be shoved off in seconds. 

“Don’t you have some pills to take or is your small struggling brian already doped up enough,” Jihoon sighed looking at him.

“That’s mean,” Soonyoung pouts leaning on Jihoon who sighs defeatedly letting him stay. “Why are you upset?”

“Why do you spend ninety percent of your time high?”

“I asked you first.”

“You are a child,” Jihoon sighed, “I’m not upset, I just haven’t seen Seungcheol all day, he’s not in his room or his office and he seemed off last night and I’m worried that’s all.” 

“Oh,” Soonyoung picked his head up from Jihoon’s shoulder, trying to hide his pitting look. 

“What? Stop looking at me like that.” 

“You didn’t hear them?” Soonyoung continued at Jihoons confused look. “Seungcheol was with Jeonghan last night ….. and Joshua.” Soonyoung watched as Jihoon’s shoulders slouched and he looked back at his laptop. 

“Of course he was,” Jihoon stood from the stool walking to the cupboard and opening them.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine I just need a drink.”

“It’s ten in the morning.” 

Jihoon opened and closed all the cupboards ignoring Soonyoung, he pulled out the last bottle they had which was only a quarter full. He chugged it all before slamming it back down on the counter, “Why don’t we have any alcohol in this damn house?”  

“Jeonghan,” Soonyoung answered, unable to stop the smirk from growing on his face.

“Is there anything he doesn’t take!” Jihoon yelled before realizing what he said. 

Soonyoung raised his eyebrows, shocked from the sudden outburst as he stood from his chair and walked over to Jihoon, “It’s okay to be upset you know.”

“I’m not upset,” Jihoon looked down at his feet. Soonyoung wasn’t good at many things, but he’s somehow always been able to make Jihoon feel better.

“I have more alcohol in my room, come on,”  Soonyoung grabbed Jihoons hand not waiting for an answer as he pulled him up the stairs. 

Soonyoung closed the door behind them and went straight to get the whiskey from under his bed that he hides from Jeonghan. He pulled out a glass and began to pour some for Jihoon. 

“Thanks,” Jihoon said as he took the bottle from Soonyoung’s hands and brought it to his mouth. 

Soonyoung smirked sitting back onto his bed and drinking from the glass instead. “Alright little man let it all out.” 

“Fuck off,” Jihoon takes another swig, closing his eyes as it burns his throat on the way down. “You know what’s so fucking aggravating?” 

“Here we go,” Soonyoung couldn’t hide the excitement from his voice as he sat up on his bed. 

“Yoon fucking Jeonghan just gets to walk around with that face and his long legs and just wrap everyone around his little finger and the asshole doesn’t even want the attention that’s just thrown at him !” 

Soonyoung nods as he watches Jihoon take another long chug, encouraging him to go on. “And what’s even worse is Seungcheol is like some spineless little bitch falling over himself to try and please Jeonghan!” 

“So you’re mad at them?

“No,” Jihoon sighs plopping down on the bed next to soonyoung defeatedly. “I can't be mad at them, if anything I’m mad at myself, this is so immature and stupid.” Jihoon drinks more and Soonyoung laughs turning Jihoon on the bed so they’re facing each other. 

“Hoonie, it’s not stupid, liking someone and wanting something isn’t stupid. Shit doesn’t work out sometimes, but you’re feelings aren’t irrelevant because of it.”

“Everything out of your mouth is utter shit, but sometimes I think you’re smarter than all of us Kwon Soonyoung.” Jihoon smiles and it’s the first genuine smiles he’s gotten from him all morning. 

Soonyoung returns it as he finishes his drink, a light fuzzy feeling filling his insides as the alcohol swirls around with everything else already clogging his system.

Jihoon sighs, letting his hands idly play with the bottle, “It doesn’t matter, Seungcheol has been in love with him since the day he first saw him, Yoon Jeonghan is unfairly beautiful.” 

“So are you,” It leaves Soonyoung's mouth before he could process it, followed by a big toothy grin that takes up half his face and Jihoon laughs at him, drunk and airy as he throws his head back. 

“You’re stupid,” Jihoons laughter calms down and they’re closer than they were before, a hand on a thigh, heads leaned in together. The air smells of alcohol and remnants of the pot Soonyoung smoked earlier.

They didn’t realize it was happening until it was too late, mouths connecting hands grabbing each other forcefully. Soonyoung had Jihoon pinned to the bed in seconds as he trailed kisses down the youngers neck, shirt pulled off his small frame as his hands traced the expanse of his bare chest. 

When their lips reconnected there was a spark, a connection. Jihoon was trying to empty all his sadness into Soonyoung, while the older was trying to fill Jihoon with all the lightness he felt in his chest. They were dazed and distracted by emotions and alcohol and something more. Time seemed to melt away as Soonyoung’s shirt came off and Jihoon’s mouth wrote a story on his skin. 

His brain was empty of everything just Jihoon Jihoon Jihoon  _ Seokmin.  _ Soonyoung pulled away quickly gasping as they heard three loud knocks on the door.

“Soon! Wake up you said you would take me to lunch and you’re not backing out again because you’re too high!” Chan’s voice yelled from behind the closed the door and the two looked at each other wild eyes as the realization of what happened sank in.  

“Y-yeah coming, I’ll be down in five minutes!” Soonyoung yelled back when he finally found his voice, eyes still on Jihoon.

The two pulled apart quickly but remained in silence long after Chan’s footsteps had left the hallway. “I-  'm sorry,” Jihoon was the first to break the silence, mouth left open like he wanted to say more. 

Soonyoung beat him to it, “No no, I'm sorry, it was nothing we were just caught up.” 

“y-yes, right we were both caught up and we drank,” Jihoon stuttered squirming off the bed looking for his discarded shirt as Soonyoung did the same.  

“It was nothing,” he repeated again, words feeling foreign. “I’m gonna go take Chan to lunch, uh you should wait in here for just a little...ya know… so no one sees you.” Jihoon nodded and Soonyoung felt the weight in his stomach. “I love Seokmin,” Soonyoung didn’t know if he was saying it for his own sake or Jihoon’s.

“I know,” Jihoon responded softly, looking right at Soonyoung now. 

Soonyoung wanted to add more, something about how he felt with Jihoon but the weight in his chest kept his mouth closed and the next second he was out into the hallway, door closed between them. He took a deep breath trying to clear his cloudy head before going down to meet Chan. 

 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Lunch with Soonyoung was weird, the other seemed off in his own thoughts but Chan didn’t mind as much. He had a lot of thoughts himself, mostly about the words his father had said to him. He just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going wrong, and more than ever he wanted to do the job his father had instructed him to do.  

He got nothing out of Soonyoung at lunch, mostly because he was too busy thinking about his own issues but he’s focused now, and it was the perfect moment. Jihoon had called everyone in the living room to discuss schedules, everyone but Joshua who apparently was still asleep according to Seungcheol and Jeonghan. There was so much tension in the air you could cut it with a knife, it was awkward and Chan knew he was missing something. 

What's a better time to cause some trouble like the present. He looked around the room to see where he should start, Jeonghan and Seungcheol were a little too easy. From the marks on their necks and bed hair, the noises he heard last night and the lack of Joshua it was enough to figure out what the three of them were up to last night. Chan looked at them carefully, they weren’t sitting beside each other but it wasn’t like before when they were keeping their distance at all costs. Still, it would be too easy, the pair gives themselves enough problems without Chan looking for more. 

He decided to move to Jihoon, usually laid back and bored, but he seemed to be wound up tighter than he had ever seen him.  _ Was it Seungcheol? _ Jeonghan and he are usually the cause of Jihoon’s distress, but this seems deeper somehow. He was tapping his fingers on his laptop and looking at  _ Seokmin? _ Chan sits up on the couch looking closer at Jihoon, he saw a flash of a red mark on his neck before his hoodie is pulled up over it.  _ Ah _ , Chan looks over at Soonyoung and his suspicions have been answered, the other is just as fidgety. Sitting close to Seokmin but still stealing glances at Jihoon. Chan should have figured it out at lunch, Soonyoung is never good at hiding things, especially a guilty conscious. 

Seungkwan and Vernon looked on edge like they were hiding a secret, Junhui was off in his own little world while Wonwoo and Minghao looked exhausted, and Mingyu kept staring at Jeonghan. Still, nothing was clear just more questions he didn’t have answers to, he thought the best way to find his answers was to tear everything down and see what come out in the rubble.

He did feel a little bad about what he was doing, but one thought of Haechan’s smile and his mind was made. “Why is Joshua so tired?”  

Jeonghan and Seungcheol turned to look at him, he made sure to wear his best innocent face. “He went to bed late, probably watching some movie.”

“Oh, that's what that noise was last night then?” Soonyoung smirked in their general direction 

“What are you getting at Soon?” Jeonghan asked, eyebrows raised in a question, or maybe it was a threat.  

“Please Jeonghan, I’m surprised you still had energy after you were with Mingyu.” Seungkwan sighed, always one to jump in drama. 

“I’m sorry, when did this become all about my sex life?” Jeonghan asks hands in the air as he looks around the room. 

“Wait, you and Gyu?” It was Minghao who spoke up looking at Mingyu. 

“Jeonghan was drunk and someone has to take care of him. Besides you were off with Wonu and Junnie being all secretive again.” Mingyu crosses his arms over his chest. 

“Jeonghan drunk that's not surprising,” Jihoon mumbled under his breath. 

Jeonghan glared at him before he opened his mouth to strike, “Jihoon why do you keep messing with you hoddie? Is something wrong with your neck? 

Jihoon’s eyes narrowed in Jeonghan’s direction, pulling his hoddie up more around his neck, “No Jeonghan, I’m just cold,” Jihoon gritted through his teeth. 

“You are drunk a lot,” Soonyoung adds in quietly, looking between Jeonghan and Jihoon.

“And you’re high a lot,” Jeonghan shot back.

“Alright everyone is high and drunk a lot let’s not fight,” Junhui tired to calm everyone down.

“Mingyu, we weren’t being secretive, well on purpose we were doing a job for Seungcheol,” Wonwoo said after he noticed Mingyu's continuous pouting. 

Seungcheol’s eyes went big and he immediately turned to look at Jihoon who was mirroring the same facial expression. “Job? What job?” 

Everyone looked at Seungcheol and Chan leans more out of his seat, this was really what he wanted to know. All the relationship drama was just nonsense, leverage to get what he needs.  Seungcheol stood up from his spot on the couch, “It doesn’t matter what the job was, it’s done with.”

“I think it concerns all of us-“ 

Jihoon barely got it out before Seungcheol shot him down. “The only thing that concerns you is your actual job. In fact, that should be the only thing that concerns all of you.”  

“What about the job we were supposed to do this weekend? I already put stuff in place for the pickup.” Soonyoung asked looking at Seungcheol. Chan knew what job he was talking about, his father had Seungcheol do many things one of the main is transporting and distributing his drugs. 

“Forget it then, it doesn’t matter. You all work for no one else but me.” Seungcheol spoke with an air of finality as he looked at everyone. This was something Chan could use something that was actually worth something to his father.  He felt a small tug in his chest he knows what would happen if he were to pass this information along but he needed too, for Haechan’s sake.

Everyone was silent for a moment heads down, Jihoon looked different then Chan had ever seen him. He had his eyes cast down on his laptop. Seungcheol sighed, “I didn’t mean to come off like an ass, I appreciate all you’ve done for me, all of you.” Seungcheol’s eyes fell on Jihoon who looked up at him. The two held the stare for a moment before Seungcheol continued, “But I’m done risking the lives of the people I care about alright, let’s just leave it at that.”

Everyone nodded shifting uncomfortably in their chairs. Jihoon did a quick rundown of everyone's schedules and then they all went off to do their own things. Chan’s mind was racing, he didn’t know why Seungcheol would just stop a job like that, not when he has so much on the line, it just didn’t make sense to Chan.  He needed them to help him there was no way Seungcheol could pull something off like that on his own. There was something he was missing but he just didn’t know what. His head hurt, he could tell his father on the one hand but what would that ultimately do, if his father knew his toy was no longer there to play with how would he react. But then again was Seungcheol no longer playable, or was he just playing his own game. 

Chan came out of his thoughts at a quiet knock on his door. “Come in,” he picked his head up to see Jeonghan coming into his room closing the door behind him. 

“Smoke?” Jeonghan smiled holding up a box of cigarettes. The older did this sometimes, tho there were many places for them to smoke in their townhome, Chan’s room was one with a balcony.  Chan opened his window following Jeonghan outside before fishing the lighter from his nightstand.

The two sat quietly, the cold night airlifting their hair and placing it back down. Chan looked out at all the lights that seemed to stretch forever, as the sounds of the city filled the space around them.  “What are you thinking about?” 

Chan looked up at Jeonghan, a little taken back by the question. Where could he even begin with a question like that?  “Do you ever think about how different your life could be if you could just go back and change some of the choices you made.” 

“Sometimes,” Jeonghan takes a long drag before blowing the smoke out in a slow stream. “But thinking like that is dangerous, we can’t change the past.” 

“I know,” Chan sighs holding the cigarette up to his mouth before inhaling deeply. He could feel Jeonghan’s eyes on him and he looked up slowly to meet the other. 

“Channie, you’re so young,  _ too young  _ to be thinking those thoughts. You have so much ahead of you, so much life you could still have. You shouldn’t waste it here.” Jeonghan looked sad as he spoke, regarding the younger with kind eyes. 

Chan had never had anyone look at him the way Jeonghan was now, he’s never had anyone say the things Jeonghan was saying now. He wasn’t sure what to do with the hope swirling in his stomach at the prospects of a different life than the one he’s lead so far. 

“You have something,” Jeonghan looked at him as if he knew somehow. “If you ever get the chance to run, take it. You take that good thing and you run and don’t ever look back, there’s nothing for you back here, just pain.” Jeonghan straightens himself out as he puts out the end of his cigarette. “You, Lee Chan, deserve so much better than this.” 

Chan doesn't know what to say, doesn’t know how to process the lightness that fills his chest. “......T-thank you,” He looks Jeonghan straight in the eyes and smiles, it’s all he can do at the moment. He closes his eyes when Jeonghan leans in to kiss him on the head before telling him goodnight and climbing back in through the window.  He knows Jeonghan has gone off to his own room but he still stays outside, the words swarming around his head. A new plan he had never thought of, never dared dream it could happen. But  _ what if? Could he really escape?  _

He fell asleep that night dreaming of an apartment, one far away, he’s always wanted to travel. He dreams of the early morning sun shining through the curtains, rolling over to see the sleeping face of his boyfriend. Cheek pressed against the pillow as his mouth is slightly open. No schedules, no lies, no secrets, death, drugs, just Haechan and a lifetime full of possibilities and moments that last longer than hours in hotel rooms.  He sleeps well that night, holding onto the chance that a dream could become a reality. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little filler to keep the ball rolling!! Oh boy guess who doesn't know how to write a Threesome!! I tired!! Anywhoms updates hopefully before the end of the year but don't hold me to it! As always thank you for all the love and comments and super uper appreciated!! Happy reading <3 
> 
> Come yell at me @Strawbhannie! on instagram & twitter!


	13. Were all friends here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life got so busy wow! Hopefully, the next update won't take as long

“We need to talk,” Soonyoung barely had time to react to Wonwoo snatching his orange juice from his hands. The thief going the step further already drinking the contents down.

“I think you’ve been spending too much time with Seokmin,” Soonyoung deadpanned referring to the actual thief. Tho he gives up his orange juice in the end willingly, like the two both knew he would, sighing fondly at the smirk Wonwoo returned at him.

Wonwoo downed the drink in one go before placing the empty glass on the counter. “Let’s go,” He used his head to indicate which direction he wanted the other to follow.

Soonyoung scrambled to get off the stool, chasing down the already disappearing back of the orange juice thief. “Go where?”

“To talk,” Wonwoo sighed as an answer, reaching the entryway of their front door. A quick scan for his shoes before he gave up and slipped on Mingyu's instead.

Soonyoung shrugged finding his own shoes before running after Wonwoo onto the streets. He shivered as the cold morning wind hit his skin, frowning as he brought his arms to wrap around himself, some feeble attempt to keep warm.

Wonwoo huffed out the air in his cheeks, and soon after Soonyoung felt the warmth of a jacket wrap around his shoulders. “Won’t you be cold?”

“Nah,” Wonwoo shook his head, thin black tee shirt moving slightly in the cold wind. “I’m not a baby.”

Soonyoung glared at him, pushing his arms into the sleeves of Wonwoo’s jacket, which now on further inspection was indeed Mingyu's. “Do you take everything from Mingyu?”

“Junnie has mine.”

“Right,” Soonyoung shot Wonwoo a knowing look, only to get an eye roll and a scowl sent back to him.

“We're not talking about me, what I want to know is why you're sneaking around with Jihoon.”

Soonyoung stopped dead in his tracks, face turning a bright red. He was thankful that he could blame some of the blush on the cold winds sweeping over his cheeks. His heart hammered in his ears as his mind over flooded with questions.

“I’m not- How did you- We just.”

Wonwoo cut the rambling short, “Soon, I saw both of you. In the laundry room.”

Soonyoung looked down at his feet, heart threatening to burst out of his chest at the memory. It was an honest to god accident, really.

_Soonyoung breathed out deeply, going over the pep talk in his head about how he had to do laundry. He barely noticed the smaller boy until he bumped into him in the confined space of their laundry room._

_“Oh, s-sorry I didn’t see you.” and “Oh, sorry my bad.” we’re awkwardly passed back and forth as the two tried to co-exist in the small closet-like room. There wasn’t too much small talk, something about laundry day and hating folding. It happened all too fast to really recall it, reaching over Jihoon to help him get the detergent. Looking down, the second of eyes meeting before lips crashed into one another._

Soonyoung wanted to blame the fabric softener in the air, or the way Jihoon’s oversized sweater fell off his shoulders. He wanted to blame any and everything else that could distinguish him from the guilty feelings in his chest, but he couldn’t.

“It’s not what it looked like,” Soonyoung internally cringed, knowing he sounds like every cheater who’s ever walked the earth.

“Oh? It looked like sloppy making out on top of the washer machine.” Wonwoo’s eyebrow raised as he shot Soonyoung a look.

“I don’t know what happened, one second we’re talking and the next my tongue is down his throat.” Soonyoung almost whines from frustration and embarrassment, bringing his hands to cover his face. Wonwoo sighs grabbing onto to Soonyoung’s elbow and tugging him along so he was no longer blocking the flow of traffic on the sidewalk.

“I’m just like him, a horrible person,” Soonyoung was only a little surprised at the drop of Wonwoo’s shoulders as the two stopped in front of a bench and he pulled Soonyoung down beside him.

“You’re nothing like your father. Not if you feel guilty about what you’re doing,” Wonwoo said it with as much emotion as he always does. Soonyoung felt grateful, or maybe it was guilty just wearing a cheap disguise. “Do you love him?”

He needed to pull himself apart, or maybe together? He was a fork in a road, a turning wheel. But despite himself, and the jumbled up mess in his head there was a thought. A present thought that seemed to be a constant. “I love Seokmin.”

“So, Jihoon is?”

“Can a person do something and not know the reason?”

“No,” Wonwoo let the words sit in the air, regarding Soonyoung with a look that could swallow him whole, as he dissected him and put him back together. “People do things for a reason, call it instinct, survival, sickness, a primal need to feed the animal in us. Whether we know it or not there’s always a reason.”

They were getting somewhere, maybe. Soonyoung couldn’t tell as the wind blew his hair up and then returned it back down. He wanted to ask Wonwoo what he should do, but he didn’t want the answer. “I don’t understand what's happening.”

“When Icarus fell he was laughing.”

“What?” Soonyoung looked up at Wonwoo, as he looked off, face emotionless as usual.

“He was laughing, not a chuckle but a whole body laugh. One that made his stomach ache as he threw his head back. His arms were spread wide and he smiled, baring his teeth to the world.”

“Didn’t Icarus fly to close to the sun or something? Why would he be laughing as he fell to his death?” Soonyoung asked frustrated, really not sure what Greek mythology had to do with anything.

“There is something almost tragically appealing about crashing when you should be soaring. Something almost pleasant about the act of destroying a beautiful thing. Almost.”

Soonyoung whined not understanding the meaning behind Wonwoo’s words, “Can’t you just tell me what to do! Just this once can you not be a cryptic little asshole.”

Wonwoo smiles, it’s bright and genuine and almost helps take some of the weight off his lungs. “You’ll figure it out, Sonnie.”

~

  
Time ticked by all too slowly and Joshua was starting to feel like a puppet, strings and all. He tried to think of a time before he became a tool, but maybe he had always been good at being used. This was, after all, in his best interest, well according to Junhui. Besides in the grand scheme of everything what is just one more handful of lies?

It was Minghao’s idea, Hansol was the one who found out where they were going to be, and now Joshua had the pleasure of falling in and out of presentness, dancing on a line between complete interest and utter discomfort. It’s not that he doesn’t adore his sister, he just doesn’t adore her new boyfriend, who (in Joshua’s opinion) has been a complete idiot, who has done nothing but waste their time. Junhui says the best things come out when people are comfortable.

Joshua comes out of his thoughts daring to look across the table, in some loud bar on the north side of the city. Joshua is very familiar with this side of town, most of their clients reside here, in their wealth and suits and secrets. Which, was one of the many complaints Joshua had about following through with this plan, he was assured tho that clients like to keep their secrets a secret.

He was supposed to run into Erin and her boyfriend here, a causal accident that should lead to drinks and catching up. He was supposed to get ‘comfortable,’ he internally rolled his eyes and tired his best to tune back into the conversation happening around him. Eyes falling immediately on the hand that had been resting on his sister's knee for the past fifteen minutes now, not that he is counting, (fifteen and a half.)

“So, Joshua where did you say you worked again?”

“Hm?” He heard the question fine, he was just stalling running through a list of prepared answers in his head as he turned to the new acquaintance on his right. Apparently, someone who worked with JaeJoon. “Just a department store worker.”

“Oh really?” Jaejoon interjected, “Rinnie says you’re always sending her money to help out, that's quite a lot of money for a retail worker.”

Joshua bit back his glare at the nickname and plastered on a smile, “Well, I don’t need much so I give her all I can.”

Erin smiles brightly extending her small hand, it’s always felt warm in Joshua’s. He smiled at her, genuine and full of love for the only lovely thing he has left.

“Shua has been taking care of me since I could remember, he even takes care of our mother still.” He felt the guilt drop like a cartoon weight crashing to the ground. He’d almost forgotten, almost.

Visions of blood on cheap linoleum flashed behind his eyes as he swallowed down the vile. A nod and a small smile were all he could come up with, he knew the words would leave a bad taste in his mouth if he tried. A subject change, “It's simple work, but the pay is nice. I imagine nothing like your jobs.”

“You’ve got that right kid,” Joshua held back another eye-roll at the cockiness in the man’s voice, “There is this one case that is bothering me, the details are gory, I’m sure you wouldn’t want to hear it.”

“No, I wouldn’t mind, I think police stories are interesting,” Josh fakes as much enthusiasm as he possibly can without coming across too eager.

“Well, this one case, a shooting in a club. We thought it was gang violence at first because the victim was part of a pretty well-known gang, but after further investigation, the guy who killed him doesn’t appear to be linked to gang activity, we also believe the guys who fled the scene with him were also not a part of a gang.”

“H-how do you know? How much about the murder do you know?” Joshua’s foot tapped endlessly against his chair.

“Well between us I think we are finally getting somewhere with this case, maybe even a few leads. Jaejoon says he even thinks he saw one of them in the park the other day on a patrol.”

Joshua barely hides the widening of his eyes as he looks across the table. “Oh, uh not that time I ran into and your friends, another time.” His smile was to tight, one of the ones his mother would use on Sundays when she would parade around the sanctuary in her flowery dresses and pearls.

Joshua watched the two cops make eye contact, a silent conversation he was just on the edge of but not quite enough to breach. “That friend of yours, you said he was from China right? That's interesting, how did you meet him?”

“Uh,” dammit what was that? Joshua is a liar, he has always been able to lie so why the hell is he choking on the lump in his throat now? Maybe because this is real, petty white lies are different from murder. He pushes the thought away forcing his tongue to work around words he hasn’t thought of yet. “He actually is more of an acquaintance, a friend of a friend. I was just helping show him around that's all.”

This is his fault for coming here, for asking questions he didn’t really want answers too. There are so many consequences of living and for some reason, he has to experience all of them. He needed to leave, he thanked Hansol quietly for installing a getaway on his phone. Just two clicks of his lock button and it activates a fake call within four seconds. Joshua quickly excused himself to answer his fake call as he walked away from the table. He returned with some lie about having to get an early night and kissing his sister goodbye before hurrying off into the city streets.

Fear was an old returning friend, dark and swirling in his stomach. It outreached its hand to grab a tight hold around Joshua's chest, to place it’s self in-between his ribcage and make a home there. It had the face of his father and the voice of his mother, quiet and paranoid. He is older and fear has aged with him, the pressure on his chest is almost comforting now. He decides to deal with his old friend the best way he knows, nothing can hurt him if he pretends it’s not there. He will close his eyes like when he was a little boy, hiding his sister in the closet as he shielded her with his body. If they don’t look it won’t hurt them, if they can’t see it, it won’t hurt them.

Nothing can hurt him, his eyes are closed tight.

  
~

  
“You always dress this pretty for your clients?”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes at the annoyingly deep voice the filled the room and caused his cheeks to turn a shade of pink. “Wouldn’t you like to know, Choi Seungcheol.”

Jeonghan gave him one of the smiles he reserves for high paying clients as poses, something seductive and cute. Jeonghan looked good, he knows he does. All dressed up in a silk almost sheer see-through, baby blue blouse. A belt fitted nicely around his waist to pull the flowy material in and draw eyes to his figure. A black almost velvet choker tied nicely around his neck, Jeonghan smiled as he saw Seungcheol’s eyes on his body. “I have to warn you though, I’m not cheap.”

Seungcheol laughed through his nose as he closed the small distance between the two of them, “If you’re so much then how come I can get you for free?”

Jeonghan scowled at him, taking the hands off his hips as Seungcheol placed them there. “That, my dear, is only because I allow you to. Now excuse me I have a date.” Jeonghan smiled sweetly at him heading for the doorway.

“I’m ready when you are,” Seungcheol smiled brightly dangling the keys in the air.

“Wait, I thought Wonwoo was taking me?”

“Nope,” Seungcheol said all too giddy, “This is your first service since the… incident and I thought I should accompany you, just to make sure everything goes right. Also, Mingyu said Wonwoo isn’t allowed to drive anymore.”

Jeonghan sighed, “Fine, but you’re waiting in the car,” as he marched out of the house and a little way down the sidewalk where their car was parked. Seungcheol running ahead to open the door for Jeonghan, a cheesy grin on his stupidly attractive face.

The drive was surprisingly pleasant, Seungcheol played nice music and listened attentively when Jeonghan complained about the lack of space in his closet, which Seungcheol replies that he has too many clothes. When Jeonghan says he couldn’t part with any of them Seungcheol offers to let Jeonghan borrow space in his closet.

“Really? You’d let me do that?”

“Yeah, I have lots of space, you can move some stuff in. Plus I’d get to see you more than.” Seungcheol smirked, glancing over at the other before turning his attention back to the road.

“We live together idiot, you see enough of me,” couldn’t help the smile from spreading across his face, and it just happened to stay there until they pulled up to the fancy restaurant. Jeonghan winked at Seungcheol before stepping out of the car, “Don’t wait up.”

“No, I’m coming in as well.”

“For what? We're gonna eat and then go back to his place?”

“I’m gonna scope him out from the restaurant, make sure he is safe. You won’t even see me.”

“Scope him out? What are you, my brother? And keep me safe from what!? He literally is paying me to fuck him?” Seungcheol just gave him that look and Jeonghan knew he wasn’t going to budge on this. He sighed defeatedly, “Alright, but I’m going in first. Unbelievable.” He slams the door rolling his eyes and walking into the restaurant.

Jeonghan goes to the hostess and says the name of his client. They inform him that his client is running a little behind and requested that Jeonghan waits at his private table. Jeonghan sighs to himself, it's no problem for him he gets paid by the hour anyway. He follows them to the fancy table set up in the back and thanks the hostess as he takes his seat.

Only fifteen minutes pass before he sees that same annoyingly attractive face peering at him from across the room over a menu and Jeonghan sighs hiding his smile behind his hand. He pulls out his phone and sends a quick text.

  
Hannie: Are you serious?

Cheolie: It’s for your safety

Hannie: Nah you’re Jealous ;P

Cheollie: Maybe if you were actually on a date  
  
Cheollie: He stood you up?

Hannie: No he’s running late!

Hannie: Like anyone would ever stand me up

Jeonghan glances up to see Seungcheol smirk at him and he rolls his eyes. A few more minutes pass and his client still hasn’t shown up yet. Jeonghan sips on his third drink, playing some game on his phone.

“Still not here.” Jeonghan jumps at Seungcheol’s voice as the older slides into the seat across from him.

“What are you doing, go away!” Jeonghan swats at his hand when he tries to steal a piece of bread they brought to the table.

“Hey! You’re not going to eat it!” Seungcheol pouts as he doges another attack and successfully steals a piece of bread. Smiling triumphantly as he takes a big bite.

“I don’t eat on dates,” he says scowling at the other.

“I know it’s one of those stupid rules from your mother.” Seungcheol’s smirk returns and Jeonghan really wants to smack it off, “So this is a date?”

“You’re right, this” Jeonghan gestures to the two of them with his hand, “Is not a date so,” He snatched the bread back from the younger before ripping a piece off and popping it in his mouth.  
Seungcheol flashes that cheesy smile and Jeonghan roll his eyes for the umpteenth time. “If you’re going to stay until my real date gets here you should at least entertain me.”

“Hmm,” Seungcheol grabs another roll as he thinks, “Alright twenty questions.”

“Twenty is too much, I will give you ten.”

“You’re very bossy Mr. Yoon, I’m surprised you could even land a date with this kind of attitude.” Seungcheol landed across the table, a shitfaced grin on his face.

“Watch it, I can still get you removed from this restaurant ya know,” Jeonghan tired to sound tough but just ended up laughing along with Seungcheol.

Seungcheol and Jeonghan asked some questions back and forth, Jeonghan starting to genuinely enjoy himself almost. Laughing over the embarrassing story Seungcheol told, leaning together so he could whisper it as their foreheads practically touched. Jeonghan agreed to answer the last five questions, an annoying smile still stuck on his face.

“Favorite animal?” Seungcheol blurts out.

“You have five questions left and you’re really gonna go with that?” Jeonghan laughed at him resting his chin in the palm of his hand as he leaned on the table.

“I panicked you rushed me, I change my question-”

“Nope sorry!” Jeonghan smiles brightly, “Ummm, I guess cats maybe?”

“How do you not know?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t have the kind of childhood where that question was ever important, no one ever really asked me that so I’ve never thought about it. Also, that was question two you’re really bad at this,” Jeonghan smirks and Seungcheol scowls at him.

“Do you think I’m attractive?

Jeonghan laughs covering his mouth with his hand, “Are you serious?” Seungcheol nods and if Jeonghan pays close attention he can see a small a hint of a blush.

“Just answer the question.”

“Yes, I think you're attractive. But so does half the people that see you. Even your waiter was gawking all over you.”

“So was yours, practically falling over herself to please you. Why, are you jealous?” The two kept each other's gaze, neither wanting to admit that they had been watching the other.

“No. That was question number three you only have two left Mr.Choi.” Jeonghan smiled sweetly when Seungcheol groaned.

“That night, I found you and brought you back, why did you stay? And don’t say because of the money. You stayed for almost half a month before you found out what we did.”

Jeonghan breathes out deeply, meeting Seungcheols gaze. “Because…., because you were kind to me. You all were and I don’t know it was nice. No one had ever offered me something with nothing in return before.”

Seungcheol smiled and Jeonghan rolled his eyes moaning, “Alright, game over.”

“Wait, one more question! Please?” He gave his best puppy dog eyes and Jeonghan cave.

“Fine you can ask one more, but only if I can ask you one first.”

“Alright,” Seungcheol leaned back in his chair, eyeing Jeonghan carefully.

“Why are you actually here? I know it’s not for me. I know you were supposed to do some job for whatever mysterious thing you work for. Why are you avoiding it and fucking around here with me instead?”

Sungcheol sighs, “I made a decision, and now I’m sticking to it.”

“Hey! That answer didn’t answer shit,” Jeonghan whined pointing his finger at him.

Seungcheol smirked, “ Okay, last question, how long are you going to keep pretending there is nothing between us?”

Jeonghan sat up a little surprised by the boldness of the question, tho it was asked in the same cocky manner Seungcheol had been in all night there was still something soft laced in the edges. “There is nothing between us, so I guess as long as it takes to make you see that.”

“You can’t really believe that,” Seungcheol looked at Jeonghan seriously, and he felt his chest tighten just a little.

“Yes, I can, and I do,” Jeonghan spoke softly breaking eye contact to look back down at the bread, now almost half gone. “Last question game over.”

They both just looked at each other and Jeonghan was painfully aware of how close he was, how dangerous it was that all his walls had somehow come down between laughing and sipping on fruity cocktails. But he was aware now as they started to come back up quickly. The waitress returned to the table to let Jeonghan now that his client was waiting out in the car and wanted to know if Jeonghan would accompany back to his hotel, he said he just needs to relax after his stressful meeting and that he was no longer in the mood to eat. Jeonghan nodded and told the waiter to tell him he would be out shortly.

Seungcheol looked away, a look of disappointment on his face, “You’re really gonna go with him?”

Jeonghan wanted to take that look away but he couldn’t, he wasn’t what Seungcheol needed so he decided to replace it with anger. Maybe this time it would stick, and Seungcheol wouldn’t come back. “Yeah? Seungcheol this wasn’t a date. I’m just doing my job and we both know that.”

“But it could have been! I don’t understand why you always have to fight me so hard!” Seungcheol grabs both of Jeonghan’s hands in his, dreaming the youngers full attention.

“I don’t understand why you never listen to me! Seungcheol you’re not in love with me. You’re in love with the idea of me, but I can’t be that person you’re in love with because they don’t exist. I gotta go. I don’t think we should share a closet,” Jeonghan sighs and pulls away. He turns from the table and hurries to the door he needs to get out. It doesn’t make sense for someone like Seungcheol to love someone like him, this is for the best.

Jeonghan takes a shaky breath looking at his reflection in the window of the car waiting outside for him. This is who he is, an illusion. He is a flower made of plastic, beautiful from far away. He calls his clients baby because he can’t remember their names. He has dreams of hotel rooms and has a closet full of gifts from men who claim to love him. He is a hollowed out shell, a temporary desire, cigarette smoke fading into the air. He doesn’t do love, doesn’t know how. He climbs into the car and falls into his role, this is where he belongs, no matter how nice Seungcheols arms sound. He’s not worthy of something so lovely.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update should be coming soon since it's half written I just didn't have an ending yet and it was getting pretty long so I'm breaking it into two! More Jeonghceol drama yay? I SWEAR the next chapter has more of the other characters in it PLUS were almost at the middle climax? and after that things just speed rocket to the end so Yeeha! ew im not a cowboy. ANywhom come yell at me on social media and comment are always appreciated so I know if you guys even like the direction this is going in or if I should just stop now? But thanks for all the love and happy reading <3
> 
>  
> 
> @Strawbhannie (Instagram and Twitter)


	14. The Beginning of The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chan meets with his client   
> Soonyoung and Jihoon keep making the same mistakes   
> Jeonghan get's what he wanted   
> Junhui has a secret   
> Seungcheol's consequences catch up with him

There are gears endlessly spinning somewhere and Chan is painfully aware of all the space around him, or lack of. Same elevator, same familiar gold walls, he is surprised he’s not used to his warped reflection by now, rocking back on his heels as it bends and stretches.

Doors open with a _‘ding_ ’ to let the excitement rattle around his stomach. Weeks worth of locked up emotions on their own personal holiday as they roam around a now lively boy. The Vacant signs have been shut off because here he is, Room 307. His favorite room, his favorite number, his favorite hour.

Knuckles buzz as he knocks on the door, breath ready to be released. His body is already beginning to relax into the comfort of his home, the only safe place he knows. It’s like waiting for the drop on a rollercoaster, he’s waiting, and waiting. To release his breath, to let his bones settle into a flaccid state, to finally quite the constant worries in his mind. Door opens _opens opens-_

“What are you staring at?? Get inside,” The voice isn’t soft, it’s rough and unfamiliar.

The drop never comes, instead, he’s lifted higher into the air. His bones are constricting and tightening, he’s not relaxed at all he is the furthest thing from it. This is not his home, he is not safe here, but the vacant signs are off and his emotions are now loose, running around with what first was hopeful abandon, now a dreadful fear.

The man he is staring down is not his Haechan. This man is tall and rugged, he’s seen things, he knows things and Chan doesn’t feel safe.

“Where is Haechan?”

“Your father thought it would be better if I came instead.”

“Where is Haechan?” He didn’t answer the question, _he didn’t answer the question._

“He is fine. Your father has him doing.. other things.”

‘ _Your father,_ ’ it’s like ice water being thrown in his face, it’s finding out Santa wasn't real at the age of 6. It’s being told his mother was dead and crying wouldn’t bring her back.

“You seem very worried about someone who is basically your bodyguard,” The man said dismissively as he lowered himself with a thud onto the bed.

“I just want to know what my father's intentions are, I’m not worried.” Chan stood by the wall, his body stiff and tense, such unfamiliar feelings in such a familiar place.

“Your father seems to think you care a little too much about Haechan.”

Cold ran up his spine as his brain tried to think of what game this was, what move his father was already on, and how he was ever gonna catch up. So much for far away apartments and sunrises. “He’s been the only friend I’ve been allowed since a small age, of course I would become attached. If that's all my father is concerned about you can tell him that maybe he should have let me get out more as a child,” Chan turned his back to the man as he walked to the small bar in the hotel room. His shaky hands tried to pour himself a drink to calm the nerves bubbling inside him.

“Brave little thing aren’t you?” Chan could hear the man chuckle as he walked up behind him. He stepped back holding his drink tightly in both hands.

“So what if I have nothing new to report we end this little get together early?” Chan asks before taking a rather large sip of his drink, breathing in sharply at the burn down his throat.

“Well, if there is nothing to report I suppose we can just have a bit of fun? I do have you for an hour,” the man purred running his fingers up Chan’s side causing him to choke on his drink taking another step back until he was pressed against the wall.

Chan puts his hands up instinctively to cover himself, “I’m not an actual prostitute.”

“Please,” The man laughs at Chan, “Don't act like Haechan doesn't fuck information out of you.” He slammed his hands on either side of Chan keeping him boxed in.

Before Chan can spit out something poisonous about getting away from him a stern voice calls out making his blood turn cold. “That's enough Sunwoo.” He was afraid to look up, eyes locking onto ones that look like his own.

The man, Sunwoo, backs up posture straight to show respect, Chan shrinks down. He’s never felt anything but small in front of the man. “Father, I didn’t know you were here.”

“I could hear that.”

Chan swallows looking down quickly, “W-why are you here?”

“Can’t a father see his son?”

Why does every question seem like a landmine, he pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth trying to think of his footing. “This would be a first.”

His father's smile was tight, one that showed just too many teeth and made him feel uncomfortable. He didn’t say anything as he walked to the chair in the corner of the room. The hotel was far from a motel, yet still lacking immensely to the standards his father held. But somehow the man seemed to make the room look like his personal office. “So, my only child what information do you have for me today?”

“Where is Haechan first,” he was proud when his voice didn’t shake, despite the pounding in his chest.

“Your boyfriend is perfectly safe.”

“He’s not my!” Chan clears his throat, shuffling on one foot to the other voice lowering when he went to try again, “He’s not my boyfriend, he is my friend. Father, believe it or not, despite your best efforts I have one.”

“Why do you think I try to ruin your life?”

“Maybe because you ha-”

“Do you really want to finish that sentence son? I who gave you a beautiful house to live in, the finest things, the best education, I ruined your life?”

He wanted to yell back yes, he wanted to scream about how none of that matters if this is the type of life he is supposed to lead, being another puppet in his fathers game. Never having anything sustainable of his own, but he doesn’t. He puts his head down, he returns to the docile, obedient son he is because he refuses to start a fight he can not win.

“That’s what I thought. If you have no new information to tell me, then I want answers. Seungcheol doesn’t seem to be keeping his end up, which reflects badly on me. He has actually been causing me more problems than anything else and that will be stopped immediately.”

Chan looks up a little shocked, he knows Seungcheol didn’t go to the drop-off, he told Soonyoung to cancel the whole thing. Drugs not being delivered makes sense for one problem, but his father is a very powerful man he could have handled that in his sleep. A mess in his father's standards implies multiple problems, but where did the other one come from, and why would Seungcheol be involved with any other type of problem if he didn’t have to?

“You’d think the lesson I taught him last week would have been enough to knock some sense into him but I guess he truly is as vast and incompetent as his father.”

Chan’s brain is going 30 miles an hour to try and puzzle this all together, things don’t add up. “I don’t know why Seungcheol didn’t show up, he just mentioned something about not wanting to hurt the ones he loves anymore. Father in my opinion, I don’t think Seungcheol is worth any of this-”

“I did not ask for your opinion. I am,” His father sighs standing from his chair and dusting off his jacket, “Disappointed Chan, and I am very tired of being disappointed. Clearly, I need to correct this behavior, the sooner the better do you understand, this is a mess and I will not clean it up.”

“Yes, Father,” Chan he keeps his head down. His father walks over and places a hand under his chin roughly lifting his face to meet his gaze.

“That’s my boy Channie, I know you don’t believe me but everything I do is for you, remember that.”

Chan nods, fighting the mixed feelings swirling in the pit of his gut. His father taps his cheek and then he is gone and Chan is alone. His eyes sting and his legs feel weak, his head is heavy and he doesn’t want to think about anything else. He just wanted to see Haechan, but now he doesn’t know where he is, and his father has his hand on the only thing he cares about.

He doesn’t know why but he calls Jeonghan, he doesn’t think about it he just calls him. It rings twice before the gentle voice answers on the other end.

“My Channie~ What’s wrong are you alright?” as soon as he heard the elders voice he panicked, his sense coming back to him. He can’t tell Jeonghan, hell he doesn’t even know what it is he can’t tell Jeonghan.

“Y-yes…. I just, my service um fell through so I need to be picked up earlier than normal, is there any way you can come get me?”

“I’m sorry Channie, I’m getting ready for a service of my own, I’ll aks Shua to come get you alright?”

“Y-yeah that’s fine, thank you.”

“Anything for my little baby.”

“Jeonghan stop,” Chan whined slightly, a small smile forming on his lips.

“I don’t care you will always be my baby, alright I’ll go tell Shua. Have a rest okay.”

“Thank you,” Chan hangs up the phone feeling something twist in his gut. He ignores the weight that is crushing his chest, he is too young to suffocate, at least that's what’s someone once said. Maybe by the time Joshua comes his hands will stop shaking, maybe.

  
~

“Fuck,” Soonyoung pants a lazy smile painted across his face. He rolls over to Jihoon’s messy hair and pale skin littered in angry red marks. _Are they angry at him? He is angry at himself._

“Last time.” Jihoon pants, running a hand through his hair.

“Yeah, of course, I love Seok-

“Seokmin.” Jihoon finishes, it’s all so, _routine._ “Soon, I know, you don’t have to say it every time.” Jihoon rolls out of the bed looking for his discarded boxers somewhere in the heap of clothes on the floor. The clock endlessly ticking on the wall is a metaphor, Sooyoung refuses to acknowledge it.

He smirks instead, leaning back on the headboard as he watches Jihoon pad around his room naked. He leans over grabbing the joint from his bedside table and lights it, blowing out a slow stream of smoke just as Jihoon find his boxers. “And you’re in love Seungcheol.” _All so routine._

“I am not,” The small man huffs out as he pulls on his underwear. “I don’t recall ever saying that.”

“Well, drunk Jihoon remembers, he says a lot of things.”

“Well drunk Jihoon isn’t a reliable source,” Jihoon wiggles into his shirt.

“Drunk thoughts are sober words,” Soonyoung smiles crawling to the end of the bed.

“I don’t think that's how that saying goes, idiot,” Jihoon obeys when Soonyoung wraps his arms around his waist and pulls him back onto the bed. There is something in the motion, in the easiness of the whole display. They continue to ignore it.

“It doesn’t matter, you love him and you know you do,” Soonyoung rests his head on Jihoon’s shoulder.

“And you love Seokmin,” Jihoon breathes out deeply taking the joint from Soonyoung and taking a long drag. Soonyoung places tiny kisses along Jihoon’s shoulder blades and on the back of his neck. Everything feels wrong, but they’re rewinding the tape and popping it back in the tv. “Last last time?”

Soonyoung smirks, ”Last time,” Arms wrapping around Jihoon and pinning him onto the bed. They really should switch to blu-ray.

  
~

“Cheollie~ Have you seen Joshua?” Jeonghan sighs knocking on his office door. Things have been _different_ since that night. He feels it when he is met with silence. Silence that seems to stretch on for days now.

“Alright, if you’re not gonna answer I’m coming in,” Jeonghan opened the door to the office stopping dead in his tracks at the sight in front of him. He found Joshua, sitting on Seungcheol’s lap. Shirt halfway up in the middle of making out with each other. Joshua’s face turned red as he quickly got off of Seungcheol wiping his mouth.

“J-Jeonghan, it’s- I-” Joshua stuttered out fixing his shirt and hair.

Jeonghan didn’t even look at the flustered American, eyes already on Seungcheol for an answer. “Joshua?”

“I was just doing his performance review,” Seungcheol smirked and Joshua got impossibly redder.

“Right,” Jeonghan looks away. Seungcheol used to give those to him when he first started. He doesn’t think about that, he doesn’t think about a lot of things these days. “Joshua, Chan needs a ride from his service and since you’re not doing anything useful I told him you’d pick him up. He’s waiting so you should go now.”

“Yeah, sorry, yes I’ll go now.” Joshua hurries out the room closing the door behind him.

“That wasn’t very nice now was it.” Seungcheol sighed, lips still shiny and red as he leaned back in his chair smoothing down his hair.

Jeonghan rolled his eyes walking over to sit on the edge of his desk, legs crossing over each other, “I could say the same about you.”

“Why? We are nothing remember, nothing.” There is some saying about irony swimming around Jeonghan’s head. His words taste bitter coming back at him.

This is what he wanted, he reminds himself as he looks down meeting soft brown eyes. They looked away as soon as they met his, _I wonder if you see the eyes of the devil when you look at me?_ “It’s not about us, Joshua is different… he’s nice.”

“I won’t hurt him, Jeonghan. I’m not _you_.”

The crack in his heart is unmistakable, no matter what lies he will tell himself later. The air is filled with a sort of finality he has never felt before. He is almost too scared to move, to change anything in this unfamiliar territory. In the end he gets up, because there is nothing else he can do, some things you just have to lose.

~

His heart was ringing in his ears, it was like he could feel the blood pumping through his veins at this new hyper speed. Neon lights washed everything in a blue haze, as the soft buzzing sound filled the small bathroom he was occupying.

 _It was a secret, his secret._ He began to laugh at the blood that was spread sweetly across his face, smiled as it ran down his fingers. The taste of copper in his mouth made him feel like a robot, each calculated breath he took fogged up the small mirror.

He wrote his name on the glass, blood leaving a trail instead. He quickly washed it away, he didn’t want anyone to know he was there. Scared, he felt scared and trapped like maybe he should call someone.

“Kitty, come on out.”

Junhui’s fingers froze from where they were cleaning the mess on the mirror. His heart swelled and then deflated. _This was a secret, his secret._

“I’m sorry Kitty, did I get to rough? Come on out I’ll make it up to you. Please, I miss looking at my pretty little kitty’s face.”

Sweet words filled his ears, his mind was replaced by a fluffy cloud. He needed to listen, he couldn’t upset his favorite client, that would be bad and Junhui is not bad, he’s not. He opened the door right away, an apology all ready on his lips.

“That’s my sweet little kitty, such a good boy.” Junhui felt arms wrap around his waist, as thoughts left his head one by one. Why was he scared? There is nothing to be scared of.

“Look at this, your a mess,” He felt a soft cloth clean the red off his skin, watched as it disappeared, a dull pain left in its place. “You’re gonna be a good kitty right? I don’t want to have to get you all dirty again.”

Junhui nodded so quickly, of course he would be. Junhui is good. There was a voice that sounded like Minghao telling him to bite the hand that wiped the blood off his cheek away. For every smack he heard Wonwoo telling him to hit back, he heard Mingyu telling him he’s too good for this. He heard Jeonghan telling him that love isn’t supposed to hurt. He hears Seungcheol telling him to leave. They would be angry, and Junhui is not bad. This is his secret.

“Such a pretty kitty,” Junhui falls blissfully onto the bed, arches his back at every sweet word. His mouth is so warm on Junhui’s own, nothing like the cold floor of the bathroom he was lying on earlier. _He wonders how to get blood off linoleum._ His head is so soft, so far away, he can’t remember what was wrong. He lets himself be taken, his mind is flooded with pretty, pretty, pretty. His guts twist with pleasure and pain, _will he ever experience love in a way that doesn’t hurt?_   
~

It was inevitable, a matter of time truly. A consequence Seungcheol was hoping wouldn’t have come so soon. That what he gets for hoping.

He is tired, it is so easy to slip back into a state of anger, his veins are practically made of fire and one day he will burn out. But not today. The burner phone in his hand buzzes and buzzes, but what the hell is he supposed to do now. He is just one man, and getting everyone involved is the last thing he wants to do.

He is always the center of every mess, despite his best efforts. His best chance was someone being home, Jihoon, Minghao, hell even Seokmin. He burst through the front door, time has always been a bitch, could something just be on his side for once. The house was quiet, just the faint sound of the tv. He followed it expectations low, though he still was disappointed to only find Joshua and Chan.

“Hey is anyone else home?” He sounded frantic to his own ears, voice shaking just a bit.

“Um, no. Everyone else is out, it’s just me and Chan. Are you alright?” Joshua had that doe look in his eyes, genuine worry. Seungcheol felt sick to his stomach when Chan mirrored the same look.

“No, I mean yeah. I just needed some help with something.” The clock on the wall was taunting him.

“Is there something we can do?” Chan’s voice was unsure like he wasn’t positive sound would come out if he tried.

“No, uhh no nothing, it’s okay. I’m going out.”

“But you just got home?” Seungcheol was already heading to the door, Joshua’s voice seemed further away with each step. The phone in his hand kept buzzing and buzzing. He took off running as soon as his feet hit concrete, it was pointless to think he could run from his problems, but Choi Seungcheol is not a quitter.

It felt like the beginning of the end when the black car cut him off, inches away from an accident. He hated the selfish part of him that wished it would have hit him. Most would have gone without a fight, but that first pound of flesh, that first sting on his cheek felt so good. _Is it normal to feel at home when you are on fire?_

He didn’t last long, but they never liked to play fair. Maybe this is what he wanted, some part of him must have known that this would be the outcome. It was blurry but he could still see out of his good eye and that smirk was unmistakable. The warmth in his chest was a forest fire, angry and red.

_Maybe this really was the Beginning of the end._

“Hello Seungcheol, I’m so glad you came to talk.”

 _And I will burn everything you’ve ever loved to the ground._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, it's been like a month? two? I've been so busy with work and life i'm sorry!! But thank you to everyone who sticks around! So I hope this chapter makes sense?? This like the start of the climax and I have part of the next chapter written hopefully it won't take me another month. But the next chapter will finally answer sooo many questions! As always happy reading <3 
> 
> Anyways come yell at me! @strawbhannie on Instagram!


	15. Underwater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE IS A LONG ONE KIDDOS SORRY I SUCK AT UPDATING <3  
> also listen... i don't know how the black web or hacking works??  
> also it's 2am and we all know this hasn't been checked! sorry <3

When things happen consecutively they become familiar. Sleeping with strangers for money is familiar, watching Mingyu walk around without a shirt on is familiar, Jeonghan with a glass of wine in his hand is familiar. Seeing Soonyoung and his boyfriend make out on the couch in the living room _used_ to feel familiar, but now Jihoon just feels…. upset. It’s the only word he can think of that accurately describes how he is feeling.

“Gross, can’t you two make out in your room or something?” Seungkwan whines in disgust from where he is practically sitting in Hansol's lap. Still remnants of glittery eyeshadow and red marks down his neck from their service earlier that night.

“It feels like I haven’t seen my Minnie in days and I just miss him,” Soonyoung pouts wrapping his arms around Seokmin. Jihoon looks away when Seokmin kisses his cheeks, something in his chest is constricting.

“Kwan are you really surprised? He is extra clingy when he is high, and he is never not high,” Chan says uninterestedly head laying on Jeonghan’s lap as he stares blankly at the tv.

Soonyoung is predictably high, it seems like nowadays the older has to get himself fucked just so he can act normal around his boyfriend without the guilt eating him alive. _You’re horrible people, Lee Jihoon._

“Where is Cheol? I wanna go to bed” Junhui yawns.

“Do you guys normally wait up for him?” Joshua asks, looking over at Junhui sprawled out on the floor.

“Not all of us, but Junnie likes to if Cheol is out,” Mingyu says from the kitchen looking for a late night (early morning) snack.

“He should be here, he didn’t have any services today?” Jihoon speaks up and no one notices Chan’s shoulder stiffen as he sits up off of Jeonghan slowly.

“He came back this afternoon and asked if anyone else was home cause he needed help, and then he just ran out again; said he was going out?” Joshua says calmly, his eyes glued to the reality show on the tv, just as an angry middle-aged woman throws champagne in some other middle-aged woman’s face.

“Wait, he asked for help? Why are you just telling us this now?” Wonwoo asks sitting up, the game device in his hands paused.

“It didn’t seem like that big a deal…?” Joshua looks around at everyone giving each other looks that he clearly doesn’t understand.

Chan opens his mouth, and then closes it, and then opens it again this time finally getting words out. “H-he seemed weird when he came back like he was on edge or something….and he had a burner phone in his hand that was non stop ringing.”

“Do you think this has something to do with-”

“Not in front of Joshua.” Jihoon cuts off Jeonghan.

“Hoon, it’s a little too late for that don’t you think,” Jeonghan says defensively, everyone sitting up now and looking at Jihoon for an answer.

“No. Look Seungcheol put it in the rules and I-”

“Oh my god fuck the rules, this is Seungcheol were talking about!” Jeonghan is standing now arms crossed over his chest.

“What is it no one is telling me? I’ve lived with you guys for months now! What is it that you still can’t tell me?” Joshua asked confused.

“Fine,” Jihoon said through gritted teeth, fear starting to bring out the meaner side of him.  
“Let’s just focus on finding Seungcheol, whatever comes out in the process we will deal with it later,”

  
~

“I don’t think you’ve been playing fair lately,” Seungcheol spits out blood, his throat is burning and the bright lights make a spot behind his eye throb. He is tied up, bruised and beaten thoroughly to get the point across.

“Well, I had to do something you’ve seem to have stopped playing all together haven’t you?” Kijung’s smile was all teeth and it made Seungcheol feel sick.

“I don’t like to get punished for doing nothing wrong,” Seungcheol lifted his head up, it was a struggle just to keep it up. The room was spinning but he still tried to get an idea for where he was. Probably some warehouse in the harbor district, if he listened close enough he could hear the sound of water from somewhere. That and the strong smell of fish in the air, the warehouse probably belonged to Kijung, he couldn’t see much but he knew he was outnumbered.

“Oh? Is that so? You operate under my order, I say jump you jump, I say kill you kill. I say breathe and you get to live another day, that's the deal.”

“Yes, that is the deal, and my reward for the fuckery you put me through is that my f-father stays safe. I didn’t see a point in playing your game if you weren’t g-going to keep your end up,” Seungcheol’s voice wavered as he tried to talk around the blood in his mouth. His lip was bleeding profusely and his vision was coming and going but he would be damned if he let it take him out.

“I kept my end up, the only reason your father got hurt is because you disobeyed, so you got punished. You acted on your own, killed some pervert from the Yakuza gang and now there is a big mess on my en-.”

“Yakuza? What the hell are you talking about?” Seungcheol let his head fall back down, struggling to breathe. The ropes were pressing against the new open wound on his chest and his shirt was almost soaked red.

Kijung grabbed the back of the chair Seungcheol was tied to, tipping it back so it was only on two legs. The ropes burned into his flesh and he left out a groan trying not to black out from the pain. Seungcheol kept his eyes open, fighting the darkness that crept into the corners of his vision. “I don’t appreciate being lied to Choi. That punishment was nothing, we both know I can get much much meaner.”

“I-I swear, I have nothing to do with the Yakuza gang, I swear on my father's life.” Kijung held him there a second longer, eyes burning into his own before he roughly let go of the chair letting it fall back onto four legs. Seungcheol coughed violently, his throat burned with every movement.

“So if it wasn’t you then was it one of your little sluts operating on their own?” Seungcheol looked up to see Kijung taking a drink that was handed to him as he leaned on the edge of one the processing tables that lined the warehouse. His heart was hammering in his ears, this now is dangerous territory.“What?” Kijung asked at the shocked look on Seungcheol’s face.“You thought I didn’t know about your little side business being a pimp? It’s cute.”

Seungcheol clenched his fist, “It wasn’t one of them.”

“You’re positive?” The smirk Kijung was wearing made Seungcheol’s stomach flip like he knew something Seungcheol doesn’t, and that monster knowing anything about any of his guys makes him see the color red.

“Look we have established it wasn’t me, so everything can go back on track now, problem solved.”

“No, you again didn’t do what I asked, and my patience is running thin-”

“Do you understand what you were asking me to do? That would have put a permanent mark on-”

“I don’t possibly see how that is my concern, besides your actions have been disappointing and I don’t think you have been properly punished yet.” Seungcheol grits his teeth, contemplating how hard it would be to break through the ropes and strangle him to death. “You didn’t complete your task, so until it is done I can’t let you just walk out here, it wouldn’t be setting a good example now would it, I have a reputation to uphold.”

“But how am I supposed to do anything when I’m tied to this chair...fucking asshole,” The last part was mumbled under Seungcheol’s breath.

“That’s why I think it would be fun to see your little sluts figure it out.”

Seungcheol’s blood boiled, “N-no, how would they even-”

“Why not? Are they important to you?” Seungcheol knew exactly what game he was playing and he hated it.

“Important in the sense that they bring in good money, good ones are hard to find you know.”

“Well I promise I won’t hurt them nor will my guys, but if they get caught or killed on their own, then that's not my problem.” Kijung laughed as he began to walk off, signaling something to two of his men.

“W-wait! I’ll do it, just let me go and I’ll do it right now! Leave them out of it!” Seungcheol’s words were cut short as he was yanked from the chair, hearing something about making Seungcheol comfortable. “Get off me shithead,” Seungcheol regretted that when a final blow knocked him out and the darkness finally took over.

~

“When will you people learn that you can't just throw a computer at me and think I can magically solve every problem,” Hansol grumbled, furiously tapping away on his hunk of a laptop. “Im pretty sure Cheol left his phone here anyway.” Hansol frowns pointing at the baby blue phone case on the counter.

“Well now what the fuck are we supposed to do?” Mingyu asked running his hands through his hair. They all quickly broke out into a fight, talking over the other. Chan frowned starting to feel guilty, a thought rolling around in the back of his mind. He pulled out his phone when he felt the slight buzz, his screen showed a message that simply said outside, the number was unknown but he knew who it was and his blood ran cold.

It was easy enough to slip away unnoticed, with the chaos coming from his housemates. He opened the front door looking around but there was no one, just faint buzzing coming from a burner phone lying on the front step.

“Hey… guys,” Chan said walking back into the kitchen, “Guys shut up! Look, I think it’s Cheol’s burner, it was on our front step,” Chan said already handing it to Jihoon.

“Why did you go outside?” Wonwoo questioned, looking Chan over carefully.

The younger pulled his shoulders up wrapping his arms around himself, a defensive habit, “I..thought I heard something.” Jihoon is already searching through the phone to Chan’s relief.

“I-is that blood?” Joshua asks looking at the back of the phone. “Okay, will someone please tell me what the hell is going on?”

“Jihoon what does the message say?” Minghao voices across the kitchen, drowning out Joshua in the process in which the American sighs frustratedly.

“It’s just a name and then an X by it,” Jihoon sighs giving it to Hansol.

“So it’s a hit? Seungcheol didn’t do it so they took him?” Wonwoo asks trying to puzzle things together.

“Who? Who took him?” Joshua asks desperately, but he still gets ignored, Chan would find it funny if his stomach wasn’t doing a whole gymnastic routine.

“So…. we take someone out, get Cheol back, and call it a night easy peasy,” Mingyu roll his eyes so hard at Minghao everyone can feel it across the room.

“Hansol?” Jeonghan asks, worriedly picking at the collar of his shirt. Chan hates how the sight of the older affects him.

“Dong Soo is the hit, I’m tracking now,” Hansol answers typing away.

“Dong Soo? Why is that so familiar?” Seokmin asks, he looks confused, a small frown on his face as he bites the side of his thumb nervously. They all look so lost almost, Chan would be lying if he said he didn’t feel at least a little broken at the moment, a piece of him missing that he will continue to ignore.

“Dong Soo owns a snack company, they make those jellies that Junnie is always eating,” Wonwoo adds, Junhui gasps at the realization of what could happen to his precious jellies if they were to kill the president of the company, Wonwoo smiles fondly at the older despite their situation.

“He’s also one of Hannie’s clients,” Jihoon rubs his face like it could help take some of the tiredness away, he still looks exhausted and somehow even smaller than normal.

“And he is pretty much the Yakuza gangs sugar daddy,” Minghao says nonchalantly popping a grape in his mouth, perched on the kitchen counter.

“Wait, what?” Jeonghan frowns, eyebrows coming together, “Jihoon?”

“I didn’t think it was a big deal? you wouldn’t be in danger so I didn’t bring it up,” Jihoon shrugs.

“Unbelievable,” Jeonghan sighs.

“W-wait did you say the Yakuza gang?” Hansol freezes from his typing, a look on his face only Seungkwan can read.

“Why Solie?”The older frowns taking a step towards his boyfriend.

“Um, nothing nothing. I just didn’t know, I wonder why he is the hit?” Hansol tires to change the subject.

“It doesn’t matter let’s just find this guy and get Seungcheol back,” Soonyong finally speaks up, he’s been pacing a little back and forth, it’s starting to make Chan’s head hurt.

“If it’s Hannie’s client then we can just set up a service….right?” Mingyu says like it is obvious.

“They call in the services Gyu, we can’t just tell him he is gonna have a service he has to make one.” Seungkwan pointed out.

  
“We could just track him down and kill him,” Minghao suggests hopefully.

“W-wait kill? Joshua asks in a very serious tone, but everyone seems to just brush it off.

“We could also just walk into the police office and turn ourselves in,” Wonwoo said sarcastically, Chan knew he was right tho, there is less risk if they can do it during a service. It almost always guarantees the victim will be alone since he is already trying to be discreet about his late night rendezvous. It also probably guarantee he will already have his own cover story in place as to why he is leaving his house and family at an ungodly hour of the night to go beat his meat.

“So….what do we do?” Junhui asks innocently, voice so small everyone in the room seems to just frown. He’s been messing with his fingers this whole time, Chan almost wants to hold his hands just to make him stop.

It’s silent for a moment that seems to stretch on before Hansol slowly lifts his head up, “Maybe we can make him call in a service,” Hansol begins to work faster, the idea almost sparking behind his eyes. “You know how on the internet you are like constantly being monitored? Like how you can go on a website and you’ll see an ad for that same dildo you were just looking at on amazon an hour ago?”

“Ah….yes,” Junnie nods his head thoughtfully.

“Weird example but go on?” Jeonghan presses the younger to continue.

“Well sorta in a way that’s close to that I can hack Dong Soo’s phone, and send him shit that would make him want to fuck Jeonghan. Like keep placing ads and pop-up’s that will make him want to book a service tonight.” Hansol smiles wide, proud of himself for coming up with the idea.

“But….,” Jihoon frowns a little unsure about the idea, “Will that even really work? What if he isn’t on his phone, or he just masturbates instead?”

“I mean… it’s better than nothing,” Soonyoung adds, stopping his pacing momentarily when Seokmin holds his hand to keep him in place.

“Exactly,” Hansol is already on it, screen lighting up his face as he leans in closer. “Han, is there any like special kink this guy has or something we could use?”

“Well….. The other day when Joshua was picking me up from a service he did say he would really enjoy seeing the two of us together.” Jeonghan says, everyone looks over at Joshua like they finally remembered he was in the room. The boy in question, on the other hand, is a mix of confusion and fear.

“I can work with that,” Hansol says already on it.

“Perfect, so we will wait for the call and figure something out, Wonwoo and Minghao I’m sure you two can think of something and if this falls through we will have to go with the more reckless option-”

“Okay wait!” Joshua yells to finally get everyone's attention. “I’m not helping with anything until someone explains what the fuck is going on!”

“Oh for fucksake. Listen church boy sometimes we help Cheol out by doing some… side jobs,” Minghao explains.

“What kind of side jobs?” Joshua asks, worry starting to turn in his stomach.

“Nothing too crazy, just a little stealing, some drug dealing,” Junhui answers.

“Money laundering, forgery, the occasional kidnapping here and there,” Seokim adds.

“Sometimes we deal with illegal weapons,” Wonwoo says it almost like a positive.

“We also kill people,” Minghao smirks at the paleness of Joshua’s face.

“So, on top of the main illegal thing you do, you also do thirty other and probably even worse illegal things?” Joshaus voice is shaky as his feet are constantly taking steps back from the kitchen.

Everyone’s eyes are trained on him. “Joshua….,” Jeonghan tries slowly, as of not to scare the American.

“I just, I- that's a lot. I’m just g-gonna get some air-” He quickly backtracks out the kitchen before he even finishes his sentence.

“He’s running,” Jeonghan says tiredly rubbing his face, looking at Mingyu for help.

“Why would he even think running would help him,” The tall boy sighs as he heads into the living room after Joshua.

“I’ll go get the rope,” Minghao hops off the counter and out the back door to their shed.

“This is what I was trying to avoid, we don’t have time for this” Jihoon huffs out frustratedly.

“It was unavoidable,” Jeonghan returns, an air of snarkiness in his tone.

“Was it,” Jihoon deadpans.

Mingyu walks back in just before Jeonghan and Jihoon had the chance to argue any further, Joshua flung over his shoulder. Mingyu quickly placing him on a chair as Minghao expertly tied the ropes around him. Joshua squirmed in his restraints, his yells being muffled by the cloth tied around his mouth, a “fuck you Minghao” look on his face as the younger ties the ropes a little too tightly.

Jeonghan sighs walking over and kneeling down in front of the chair. “Joshua calm down! It’s not as bad as it looks.”

Joshua shakes his head violently, his whole body practically screaming no. Jeonghan huffs pulling the cloth down to let him speak. “How is killing people not as bad as it looks! This isn’t what I signed up for. Okay, Minghao killing someone on an accident or whatever fucked up reason was one thing when I thought it was just supposed to be a one-time thing! But l-like you all do this on the regular! I just wanted to help my sister but I can’t help her from jail or if i’m dead! Everything is different now,” It comes out like a tape on fast forward, his words laced with panic.

“Hao, what is he talking about?” Jihoon looks at Minghao who shrugs it off pulling the ropes tighter behind the chair which Joshua gasps at it. Chan raises his eyebrows watching the exchange but Wonwoo steps in already derailing the conversation back.

“Nothing is different, you were just above the water and now you’re under it,” Wonwoo says matter-of-factly.

Joshua shakes his head, he almost looks like a baby like this, “N-no, you’re bad, you’re bad people you’re b-bad!”

“You’re no different than any of us, so maybe you should watch your fucking mou-“ Hansol says before getting cut off by Jeonghan gesturing the younger to stop.

“We don’t do it for the reasons you think Shua,” Junhui says, his voices sounds soft and sad and it makes Joshua stop thrashing for a moment.

  
Jeonghan places his hands on Joshua’s thighs, he is still kneeling between his legs. “Joshua, I know what this looks like, okay. I know you must be scared, and angry and I swear to you we will explain everything, but we need to get Seungcheol back first. He took you in, helped you when no one else would like he is done for all of us. You owe him this, we all do. Can you just trust us… trust me….please,” Jeonghan’s voice is so gentle, yet there is real fear and panic laced in every word. You can tell he is just trying to keep everything together.

Joshua is quiet, his breathing is uneven and you can tell he is struggling to come up with an answer. “O-okay….,” when he answers it’s mumbled but it’s enough. Jeonghan smiles at him and it’s warm as he gives his thighs a soft pat.

“Hansol you gorgeous genius, he made a service,” Jihoon says and everyone seems to let out a breath they had been holding.

“Perfect, because I have a plan,” Wonwoo smirks and Chan swears he can feel the nervous energy pouring off of Joshua, or maybe it’s him. He just closes his eyes and says a silent prayer, he doesn’t really know for what or who it is he is praying to but he prays regardless. Maybe just maybe it will help.

~

Be a prostitute they said, it will be easy they said. Joshua has no idea who ‘they’ are but he is not about to blame himself for his current circumstance.

It could always be worse, it could always always be worse, the voices to himself over and over trying to stop his hands from shaking. It’s a hard sentiment to grasp, and impossibly harder when he is currently in some matching lingerie to Jeonghan and sitting in the back of some old shitty van that Hansol apparently owns. I guess he is just finding everything out about his housemates tonight.

“Shua, stop shaking, this will be a piece of cake I promise. I just a regular service just think about this as a regular service.” Jeonghan tries to says comfortingly.

Joshua wants to protest but the knot in his stomach is keeping his mouth shut. The voice of Mingyu rings in his ear due to the small device Hansol had placed there a few minutes ago.  
  
“Still can’t believe he said yes to this.”

“We would have killed him if said no,” Minghao responded in his ear, he sounded out of breath slightly.

“He can hear you,” Hansol voices rolling his eyes from where he sits at the small desk set up in the back of the van. Monitors highlighting his features in a blue tone, as the chunky headpiece makes him look like a little boy just playing a video game. Not at all like a genius hacker who is helping murder someone tonight. Joshua feels his heart racing again, this is so not where he pictured his life going.

“No, we wouldn’t Shua,” Jeonghan turns to him.

“I would have….” Minghao mumbles through the headset.  
“Minghao!” Jeonghan scolded.

“Alright everyone shut up he is here … go time,” Joshua hears Jihoon say through the headpiece and he thinks he is going to have a panic attack right there in the van.

The plan, the plan what's the plan again? Joshua frowns his mind racing as he follows Jeonghan out of the van. There at a hotel, not one of the fancy ones that he is used to meeting clients at, this one was out of the city, quieter. Mingyu and Seungkwan are supposed to be checking in as a couple and causing a commotion in the waiting room as a distraction. Wonwoo said it’s to give any witnesses a useless focal point, they will all be drawn to this pointless drama occupying their rather boring midnight shift that small details like who else is checking or coming through the lobby at this hour just seems like minor details against the scene happening in front of them.

Mingyu also had Seungkwan and himself dressed in fashionable bright clothes, something different that will draw attention to pointless detail, as Mingyu worded. He said it works every time, people tend to remember fewer details about a person if there is one feature that is more overpowering. Every con he has ever pulled he said he had been wearing some outrageous colored suit, or patterned overalls, flare pants, floral blouses with bright colors. Whenever the cops come to question the witness almost none of them can remember anything about Mingyu other than what he was wearing and that he is tall.

Joshua can’t say that he isn’t impressed by his housemates. While Mingyu and Seungkwan recreate a scene from a drama basically, Jeonghan and Joshua are supposed to handle the service like any other normal service. “Shua… you’re shaking.”

Joshua doesn’t notice until Jeonghan’s hand are on his shoulders rubbing calming circles into them. The oldest fingertips feel weird on his skin, Minghao painted the tips of their fingers with clear nail polish, he said it would help leave fewer finger prints, Joshua doesn’t know if he is amazed or terrified.

“Look, the only thing you have to do is your job that's it! The same thing you’ve been doing for months now don’t think about anything else okay. We will handle everything it will be okay, trust me.”

Joshua wants to, he want to trust Jeonghan so badly. He nods, what other choice does he have their outside the hotel, he can already hear Seungkwan and Mingyu from inside, everyone is in their places. He will just fake it, if there is one thing he is good at is lying to himself. “Just a normal service.” He breathes under his breath, his fingers are intertwined with Jeonghan;s as he follows him through the small lobby. He hears Hansol mumble something about cameras in his headset, but he is too occupied by Seungkwan and Mingyu. It truly is like watching a scene in a drama every eye is turned on them, Joshua doesn’t even think one of the employees behind the desk has noticed them once. Next thing he knows he is up the elevator and in front of the door.  
~

Chan can’t stop his feet from pacing, he feels like he is under a pile of rocks. Rocks made of guilt, and worry, lies he keeps trying to tell himself. He can hear the plan going well through the headset, things are going smoothly. He doesn’t know why he feels so uneasy maybe because he knows this is his father, easy doesn’t equal fun in his father's book. Another shoe will drop a bomb will go off and Chan can’t even begin to prepare himself, he has had his phone gripped tightly in hand for the past fifteen minutes now. An already typed out draft to his father about maybe negotiating some other plan that won’t cause so much chaos.

He doesn’t send it, knows he won’t send it because there are just too many variables that he can't account for. Too many chances for everything to go wrong, for the little he has to be taken away from him. He looks out across the empty parking lot, he hates being the lookout. Of course they made him a lookout, Seungcheol was always worried about Chan, always going on about how he is too young and has too much to lose. His heart is torn between fondness and guilt, obeying and disobeying. He kicks a rock from the road watching it roll until it hits something familiar. A tire of a blue car, the same blue car he’s snuck out too in the dead in the night so many times before. The same blue car he had kisses in until he couldn’t breathe, the same blue car he stayed up watching stars turn into a sunrise from the tiny sunroof.

His breath catches in his throat as his eyes meet with the passenger inside. They don’t have to use words, they never do. Chan is already walking to the quiet side of the building, turning off the mic in his earpiece as a familiar body comes around the corner.

His heart swells in his chest as relief fills his bones, “You’re okay.”

“What are you doing here?!” Haechan asks at the same time. Their hands find each other like magnets, the distance between them already dwindled away.

“He took Seungcheol.”

“I’m sorry they wouldn’t let me come see you!”

They spoke at the same time again, laughing airily as their foreheads knocked together. For the tiniest moment, everything is alright. And then it’s not. “You shouldn’t be here… you need to go.”

“What is he planning? Hyuck… I… I can’t leave them,” Chan can feel Haechan shift at the use of his real name. He barely uses it since Chan’s father took him in.

“Okay…,” Haechan breathes out slowly.

“What do you mea-” Chan is interrupted by lips crashing onto his own, his mind short circuits for a second before he wraps his arms around his boyfriend's waist. The familiarity is so warm so comforting he just wants to sink into it, he almost forgets about where he is what he is doing.

“Fuck … Joshua what did you do,” He hears Jeonghan all but breathlessly gasp into his headset. Mingyu and Seungkwan pause for just a second getting tripped up by an obvious bump in their plan.

In a matter of seconds, his headset is filled with the worried voices of his housemates frantically talking over the other. “I… I need to go,” Chan frowns pulling away.

Haechan tires to interject tries to ask him what's happening but he just shakes his head running off back to his spot, he doesn’t look back he knows Haechan is already gone.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck,” He heard Joshua stammer from the headset.

“Were uhh… gonna need some assistance,” Jeonghan’s voice is hoarse when he speaks, the plan is crumbling and Chan is only a gust of wind away from following suit.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOH BOY THINGS ARE HEATING UP!! This shit was agonizing to write I can't tell you how many times I have seconded guessed myself writing this. No tea no shade this chapter took me like a month and a half to write holy shit. So I am so sorry if the logic is like lacking?? idk but know I tried my fucking hardest! Do you guys like how many times I made Vernon say the word "like?" I just feel like he would say it a lot? idk?? ALSO, GOD KNOWS WHY I KEEP MAKING MINGHAO SO BLOODTHIRSTY WE ALL KNOW HE IS A PRECIOUS LIL FLOWER ELF OR SOME SHIT?? but anywhooos we got more to come kiddos so buckle the fuck up! I also want to apologize for taking a million years to updates writer's block and intense work/class schedules will do that to you! BUT ACTUALLY, REALLY WANT TO SHOUT OUT RACHEL FOR MAKING ME A FUCKING BOMB ASS PLAYLIST FOR THIS FIC BECAUSE IT REALLY HELPED WORK THROUGH THIS WRITERS BLOCK. also if you guys haven't yet go check out her fic called, "Cheongju School for Troubled Youths." it's literally amazing! 
> 
> As always thank you to the moon and back for kudos and comments they truly mean so much to me, especially for this fic cause this shit is HARD! but as always happy reading <3
> 
> COME YELL AT ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA @strawbhannie ( IG & TWITTER) 
> 
> also shameless plug I have a kpop store?? Where i make Kpop merch! I know crazy what the hell right! BUt if you want cute merch you should go check out Tucykpop.com and follow me on instagram @tucykpop! Alright im done self promoting THANK YOU ALL <33333

**Author's Note:**

> So this is kinda like a slow burn, and I'm gonna try my best to set up everything and the characters backgrounds without like overcrowding?? Oof, I've just been trying to write this for so long, and I really hope I can make it work LOL! Whale anywho a hell of a lot more to come, lots of angst, fluff, drama, sex so stay with me, and as always happy reading <3 
> 
>  
> 
> Come yell at me, or talk about SVT on @strawbhannie on Instagram! <3


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